Our Man in Antigua

Bulwer…always wanted to use that opening line and now…it’s outa my system.

Monday nights in A-Town? the smart owners close up, the desperate add staff and the few bright spots are doing a little biz…even Cimino’s…yes, even they had a group of ten or so…a not so smart owner on 4th ave norte..what’s been a hole in the wall pizza outlet, to which i’ve never seen a single slice go out (next to Don Martin’s)now has a sign advertising ‘japanese food’…maybe it’s imported and glows in the dark but I don’t get the concept. They might have a different slant on things…

Nelson/Karla snuggling in the Oshalot patio..he’s at PV tonite, she’s watching the Frisky Den…tomorrow nite? those mad men of el muro have extended the ‘all you can drink for free’  Thursday night hullaballoo to include Tuesday…’starts at 6p, G.S.T…yep, i’m goin’, if only to ogle their bartenderesses(wear the red satin top again, por favor)..giving away booze tends to take the wind outa the sails of the rest of the competition…2X1, 75q for all you can drink in 2 hours? top give-away liquor…it works because after the time’s up, the crowd’s hammered and they keep on drinkin’…at regular prices. If this keeps up, Antigua’s gonna be a very interesting party town.

‘passed the ever smiling Monica of Jungle Party Hostel…looking spectacular..biz is good, at least for her. El Gato Negro still running 50/60%, and my landlords’ hostel on 4th norte has been closed for a month or two…and this is prime hostel time? 709, the mex food/antique place next to Alex’ Fusion on 4th calle? open tonite but closed on Saturday and Sunday night?…even the AA meeting closed on Mondays…get a clue, buy a vowel or something.

Thursday night! Antigua Tobacco Company…7 pm…free Brazilian cigars(no, Lynn didn’t mention a limit)and a cocktail of choice..also free but you gotta go by before then and pick up the invitation…3rd calle, between 6th/7th avenidas…i suspect i’ll pop in,  and trade you my cigars for your cocktail..deal?

Hector’s? 7:30 and three diners? he, Nelson and the superb mexican guitarist Manuel something or other will be at Ocelot tomorrow night…figure around 9ish..or so…one thing about Monday nights: 5th ave norte is a graveyard, except for Frank’s Nim Pot…refrigerator maggots must be big..i’ve got some…no, magnets,magnets…the maggots are IN the refrigerator…or in a few bars, that i hesitate to mention.

dos Reilly’s doing just fine…the crowds find them, Henrik smiles…amazing how many gringas seem to find their spanish teachers offering to increase their level of comprehension…at night, after regular classes…language, i’m talkin’ language.

a final observation: the hot dogs/weiners sold in this country…they come with plastic sheaths…kinda a Guatemalan condom…do they have specially trained employees to do this job? fine…like the old joke about watching a cook make hamburgers patties by molding them in his armpit…’that’s nothing..watch us make donuts.’