Our Man in Antigua

which is an obscure reference (aren’t they all?) to the Aussie band, Three Dog Night…work with me here…and that reference was to the aboriginal phrase of a cold night, requiring three dogs to keep warm..ergo…it’s cold enough to require the presence of two warm, slightly plump Guatemaltecas..ok, fine…yeah, we’re spoiled, living here in paradise, with no furnace and if you’re lucky a fireplace for nights such as these.

another coffee/dessert shop open? on 4th calle, between the garishly lit chinese place and the newly opened coffee shop in Casa Colonial? how many/much more can that block handle for ice cream/coffee? you’ve got Sarita, Yoga Freeze and so on…amazes one that people just decide to go head to head with existing business…kinda like Nadoosh, on 6th ave norte…now advertising as a steak house and with arab food..hookahs…they’d be better off advertising hookers, as i, for one, would be tempted to pop in and…uh…interview…

so nice to come home to an email that says another copy of Our Man inAntigua sold…the ebook version…kaching! lets count on our fingers…two 5q pops at Ocelot, one Stoli at Travel Menu, pack of cigarettes…i’m only down 5 or 10 q tonight…the sweet smell of success! if at first you don’t succeed, suck again..

O’lot’s Five O’Clock Lush Hour turning into a local version of Cheers…place packed, drinks being slurped and the new bar babe, Sierra? she fits right in, immediately…she’ll be a great one…the delicious Miss E, showing her photo of  her niece? after ingesting 3 cocktails earlier, I asked her to have my baby…”it’s out in the car, in the trunk’…she wasn’t amused..

Pangea? one person watching the restaurant and the bar…let’s just say ‘minimal’…ah, two sizeable crowds of university students in town…one from Wisconsin, the other Oregonian..how could i tell? the matching sweatshirts, over whelming the Whisky Bar..

no ads in the two local magazines this month for a certain “Room”…sign on the door that read ‘be back on January 10th”..the torch may be out, in more ways than one..‘quiet night at Travel Menu…’love that place..and yes, the search goes on for a quiet, well lighted place…the buses and the tuk-tuks have beaten me..Review has an ad that I responded to…s’posed to be a place on 1st Ave Sur, within a stone’s throw of Cafe No Se…which would put me within a stroll of Angie Angies, one of my favorite places..and where I haven’t been since last year(a few weeks)and a totally different part of town to live in…please, god…get me outa here and soon! there’s only one shell left for the flare pistol(emergency use only) and i’m trying to be good…as mentioned earlier, it’s been a few decades since I’ve popped any appliances and let’s keep it that way..brrr!…what was that old Beatles song, “Happiness is a warm gun?”  IQ test for potential girlfriends…name all four Beatles and for bonus points, the 5th Beatle..and/or  their manager…hint..”Brian……the manager..