Our Man in Antigua

or Polly Anna, 2.0…i used to think that having been a mental health therapist for some ten years and a real estate appraiser for some 25 +. that i’d heard it all..every twisted viewpoint, every lie, every version…i’ve come to realize that given what i thought was a military grade/industrial strength bullshit filter wasn’t good enough for Antigua chisme..I give up…i’m just a stranger in a strange land.

why, how.. you ask? this town and it’s inhabitants are from a breed and a race totally alien to me…yes, there’s the ‘frontier’ and the ‘let’s run away to Gautemala, where there’s no rules..’…what people don’t know,they make up…and the gossip passes faster than light..fugitives from justice, a broken home, a bad marriage or whatever the reason, find themselves here…tongues flapping..know that i’ve lived in small tourist towns for a long long time..south shore tahoe, sausalito, carmel, hawaii, carmel valley, vegas and so so…and i thought i was used to/immune from lying sacks of shit…take it from me, this town out-ranks any of those for malicious gossip…I thought, mistakenly, that having being exposed to flim-flam/’did you hear about’ that kinda shit, that i had my head on straight, compass bearing true north and so on…nope…wrong again, vodka breath..case in point:  the stories circulated by jennifer, daughter in law of my superb landlords,Blanca and Enrique..can you say “active fastasy life?’…or the endless variations on reality by one of the last remaining ‘river rats?’ and on and on, and on..ad nauseum or you wanta throw up..the bar owners rip on the other bar owners, the restaurant people the same..the gringos in the park exchanging endless variations on who fucked over who, always with a glint in their eyes..’if you really knew’…etc..’well, i heard last night that…”..it’s an endless ongoing soap opera…tiny minds espousing tiny tidbits of recycled gossip…’did you hear that..?’…i sometimes confess that i’ve written what i thought was ‘reality’…sometimes yes,sometimes  no..hey, i’m human and i get sucked in by a good performance/act/presentation…i want to believe that i’m being told the ‘truth’…wrong again, most of the time..problem is, for me at least, is that there’s no one i know to go ask for the ‘real’ version..some say that they’re available for such but even those sources are  tainted..i guess the easiest way out is not to repeat anything that i haven’t witnessed…but even then, the underlying causes are murky and subject to interpretation.. 

soon, i’m outa the ever noisy ex-Palacio de India soon..throw away the useless earplugs and forgetabout the traffic noise that never quite goes away..the ‘book’ hit town today,the first ‘proof copies’ and i was expecting a larger size…looks like a f…king pamphlet..wtf? dial up our man in antigua on google and take your choise of ebook or print…i need the $$…tonic and limes for the vodka are eating my budget.  For those who know her, juana’s back in town, seen with the very well dressed MDC today..i suspect that there’ll be a double date coming soon. I could use some sanity and an evening of simple pleasure, with no gossip/bullshit or ‘did you hear?’..hump day? in every way…