Our Man in Antigua

Robbin Haas, el jefe de Bistro Cinq? shucking oysters for diners last night…if one computed his hourly rate ($$$) those had to be some pricy crustaceans…no, mollusks, a word not heard much around here…’you f%$#@! mollusk!’..you muscle…’ fine..i’m over it now..

ah, poor Joe’s Grill, on the road to ‘Viejo…the road ripped up for months and now it’s being ripped up again…ooh, ‘planning’ and not with a capital ‘p’…trying to organize a benefit, involving a 1/2 pound of chicken and a 1/2 pound of bbq’d ribs…the details are foggy but he was supposed meeting with Da Mayor to get the schedule for fixing the f%$#@! road…’heard that his burgers are great but i never get out that far..no, way..it all seemed like a good idea, the commercial plaza with an ‘anchor tenant’ aka the gas station..the road repairs have been painful.

Ignacio the Cuban, playing upstairs at Chivas…El Portals’ upstairs mini-bar…and no, Maggie hasn’t taken what I thought was a great idea…classical music in the ground level..’a touch of class’…it’s a European thing, sweet heart..

saw a poster for a golf tournament at La ReUnion…’sounded great, good price, cha cha..charity, raffle, bells and whistles..until i saw it again this morning, while i was on the phone with Nicky Z, the head pro there..’mentioned the price as being great…’hundred and fifteen ‘Q’….wrong, vodka-breath…$115 buckeroos! screw..the regular greens fee is $75…well, the ‘short’ of it..skip the ‘long’ ..is that I and a friend are playing Monte Maria on Sunday for 100 q…look, we’re cheap fuckers, ok? senor citizens on fixed incomes..got it?

Incoming bookettes…some by ship,some by snail mail…which describes Guate’s antiquated postal/customs systems..updates weekly for the Amazon version…google our man in antigua for the latest…2nd Edition should be..in our ink-stained fingers in 2 weeks, in print here the following week..this is turning into a monster and i didn’t think it thru, terra incognita indeed.

The New And Bigger than Big Venetian Masked Ball (don’t go there) is coming…in two days…(sounds like some of my ex-wives) this Friday at the super/superb ruins kown as Sn Jose El Viejo…6 pm,G.S.T..down 5th Avenida Sur, just before La Vineria Antigua and across the the Porta Hotel..parking there, etc..’still don’t have my mask, supposedly ordered..ack..a brown paper bag with holes for eyes and a vent for cocktails? have i ever seen a ‘brown’ paper bag in this town? christ..another ‘hurdle’..blackface! has it been done here?…naw…i’d have do the head..that barren zone in the middle..fuggedaboutit.