Our Man in Antigua

vodka and tonic? yep…an inadvertent mixture, compliments of Travel Menu…t’wasn’t all that bad, just different…maybe if it had a tricky name…thanks to a reader known as upyrarse…yeah i feel the same way some times…

it would seem that the Lent thing is underway…yesterday evening the steps by the Cathedral were packed with dudes in all black, pointy cowls and all…a reverse version of the KuKlux Klan and a Jesus dude haranguing the crowd…why? who knows? I dont…if this town had a different slant, model some parades a la the Carnaval in Rio…semi-naked babes in feathers and body paint…have some local businesses sponsor a float or two…fuggedabout the same old tired draggin’ the barge with the dessicated remains of some saint or the tortured faces of Mother Mary….T&A!….look: it’s the same story, year after year…we’ve seen the movie, read the book and it always ends up the same…ok, fine..

it was/is another perfect day..weather-wise…the marvelous Marvel showed up on time and looking spectacular…took her by Old Town Outfitters…tongues dropped..yeah, she’ll be fine repping the ‘booklet’ of which the 2nd Edition comes out locally next week..you 13 or 14 outlets won’t have to deal with my ugly mug…and the tour bus drivers? roll over, cuz you’l be standing in line to see her.

the old De Bronce store on 4th ave sur? morphing into a….’nother restaurant…idiots..another new cafe on Travel Menu’s block…the golden pelican…hope that’s not their nightly special..Las Palmas and Le Pena del Sol doin’ the large groups(as usual)…5ta snorte packed with walkers/waiters for the procession later(see above for description)…will it be the Virgin or the Martyr? or the combo package? gimme some babes on floats…feathers, beads and bangles…The Rotary Club, dos Reilly’s, Cafe No Se’s sponsored babes on barges…sample bottles of Ilegal Mezcal tossed to the waiting multitudes..small, airline sizes…plastic, so if you get bopped with one, etc..work with me here…Antigua needs a shot in the arm(or the buttocks)and this has legs…think of the publicity…nuns in black habits/garter belts…Cashbar would sponsor something…hey..why was Sangre closed on a Saturday night? staff picnic? the money finally ran out? the renovation of what was Reilly’s next door continues…and no, no idea(as usual)as what’s going to be there..the old Tapas y Tintas, thence the short lived Cuban mistake of Seafood/Mojitos building on 1st calle,near 4th ave norte? getting a massive clean up..exterior paint, roof being buffed out…por que? this town could use a decent casino and strip joint..members only..quiet…dress code, of course…whew…some tasty Capitalinas walkin’ around..babes with a capital B..a few with their dumb little mutts on leashes…the smaller, the better…apparently..’watched one with three dogs on leashes, her old man and she on a telephone…he cleaned up the crap, she kept on talking…’got them all well trained..she obviously doesn’t take shit from anyone..and he does..roll over, dude..

i bailed on the American Legion/Joe’s grill BBQ..gave my donation in $$…too whipped from last night and i had a 11 am with the marvelous M…a much better idea..some folks might think/say that I’m being sexist/cynical about marketing…yeah..it’s true: remember that I lived in ‘Vegas a few years ago..it’s not about the steak..it’s about the sizzle and when you see her, you’ll know exactly what i’m talkin’ about..have the $$ ready..