Our Man in Antigua

‘suggested by a somewhat athletic supporter of mine(don’t go there)…we were in Travel Menu, the bar being held up by Allan, Henrik and so on…a quiet oasis in the middle of what is an insane evening already underway…cops, troops, guns, choppers and presidents of various country’s in town…why? maybe it was Otto’s thing about decriminalizing drugs or maybe it was about splitting up the proceeds…who knows? there’s more money in dope than there is in running a banana republic.

some serious city babes in town..gowns, outfits and so on..weddings, photo ops and buncha guys in suits and ear buds..kaibiles in their cranberry berets, packing serious heat..never ever, repeat after me, screw with them…ask their puppies…

our Mime? holding in thrall(capturing a crowd) of folks on 5ta norte..blocking the street and sidewalk big time,,,took a ride on a new tour thing in town this morning: the ‘original Antigua City Tour’ via 17 passenger bus without windows…it glides thru the streets, stops at various churches/ruins(no, not me) and even does El Cerro…gotta like this idea..40q for an all day ride..get on, get off(i wish)..I’ll be writing this up soon: xlnt concept and only in biz since February..Juan Carlos Lehnhoff, originally out  of Jutiapa(same as Ms M)who returned from northern californicated in’09…another casualty of the real estate collapse..it was amusing to talk of East Bay cities with him…my advice? try it..beats the shit outa pounding the cobblestones and you get the bonus of going up to ElCerro without doing the Steps of Death..steps of death? another assault on the hill of Volcan Agua last week: 5 gringos assaulted/robbed…it seems that if one takes the trail outa the village of Jesus de Maria by the little store..somehow, the perps are alerted and by the time you get to the cornfields you’re tagged ‘it’…three guys with pistolas this time, unlike Gary’s tale of last year with two bozos who weren’t afraid to shoot..yeah, they were using those $#@! Daewoo 9’s but still..a bullet is a bullet..

pink slime? ok…this refers to a recent US problem with contaminated meat…artificial ingredients and other stuff(parts too weird to mention)being included in hamburger and other ‘meat by-products’…we’re fortunate, that here, we can go to the butcher and watch him slice chunks off the sides of beef and run  ’em thru the grinder…oops..not enough fat! such a problem, eh?

and yes…the container is still being held up in Puerto Quetzal…I’m ‘over’ that…too late..yep, outa books again..no, booklettes, yet again..however, with a few more vendors lined up and a print run sometime(GST)next week, that problem will be solved…given Miss M’s work schedule at Reilly’s, you may see us out/about in the evening next week(and try not to step on your tongue)..she’s perfect for this: men drool and women instantly narrow their eyes…if nothing else, four years in ‘Vegas taught me that what sells is ‘sizzle’ and she’s damn well got her portion of that…makes me wish I was 30 years younger..maybe 20, ok?

again, ‘the original Antigua City Tour’…perfect for visitors…get the whole scene, sitting in a comfortable seat…a tip of the greasy and stained panama to Juan Carlos!