Our Man in Antigua

described as ‘an uneven movement from bar to bar…it’s a musical term but might apply to more than a few in this town of many many bars.

So…the Beauty Pageant…town packed, the town band doing their Friday night concert and a ton (metric, of course) of superb senoritas doin’ the stroll…traffic? jammed, packed..why?

the usual patio crowd…or maybe the unusual Friday night gathering at that place…old faces, some not seen for a while, some coming by to say ‘adios’ to Mike D, leaving us on Sunday…almost the Last of the Mohicans, if you include Alabama Bob…damned shame but that’s life in a resort town.

Blake of Pappy’s BBQ….his most xlnt beef jerky is now in 6 places around town and his ribs…no, the stuff  he smokes…even that sounds wierd: the food that comes outa the smoker and his hole in the wall cafe on 6th calle, now in three places in town, with a couple others ‘under the table’…. how refreshing to see/hear of someone with a business plan, considering how many others just throw spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks (a metaphor, ok?)

if you see me in town next week with a device hanging from  my left ear, it’s a hearing aid…after four years later(blew it out in the pool at Dos Mundos, on a weekend with ‘her’ and three docs said it was gone….even the vaunted VA…no chance, no way, a hearing aide won’t do any good….wrong, rum breath…if i should also happen to tune in to the  mother ship, that might be a good thing also…wait…is it the Rapture? who cares..in my case, more likely the Rupture, considering the approach of yet another birthday in the  Sixties Series (and the last)…christ,  how did this happen? I thought that if i abused myself enough…yeah, that didn’t work either but I’m still trying…HIV? hair, involuntary loss…AIDS?  hearing, roll, band and so on…

and now…three juice bars in town! as if one could sustain the crush/pay the rent…yep, on 7th ave, around the corner from Pitaya and El Sitio…and more hole-in-the-wall dress/coffee/tourist stuff shops there/here/whatever…and not a snowballs chance in hell to make it til July, if then. And of course, the usual crop of  blond gringas here for ‘spanish school, you know’ all find latin tutors for those after hour sessions of irregular verbs..its an annual event….do any of them actually take Pedro or Pancho home to meet Mom and Dad?

and it looks like I got/paid the Gringo Tax for treatment at our local dermatologist…after all was said, done and more importantly, paid, I showed him the critters from my tongue that originally brought me to his office…’ah those…from some kind of fruit you ate.’..thanks, doc..thanks $$$ a bunch..’tongue’s fine, pockets are empty and it’ll be a long time before i go back…doctors, like any profession such as mechanics, septic tank pumpers and attorneys, are only as good as their training…some bad, some good and the majority just so so…ah, it’s the weekend, and the rains may fall, the sun will shine and life, as we know it, will go forweird.