Archive for the ‘Costa Rica’ Category

accent on the 3rd syllable..a chance encounter with Seth Montfort/ford on the streets earlier, having made a successful bus trip from Belize to Costa Rica and back: when I last spoke with him a month or so ago, I had worries about him being on the road…he made it back and now, against all odds, is looking for a place to rent this week…ack! ‘no idea how to contact him other than leaving a message at Panza Verde, so if you..etc..hell, he’d probably write a concerto or two for you…interesting stories about PV but you gotta ask him…my lips are zippered..zipped?

another piece of ‘intel’…a long lost/gone famous beauty is returning to A-Town! when, why or such is under wraps, i.e., ‘zipped’ and you thought that i couldn’t keep a secret? mum’s the word and it’s under my arms (old, old joke like Prince Raleigh in the can)

Korey Dai Peterson! a most xlnt new T-shirt! Occupy Antigua! on sale at Nim P’ot tomorrow..’gave him the idea about producing ‘glow in the dark’ plastic Jeezus figures for the dashboard….could i have royalties?…and a light sprinkle of rain just at 7  or so…perfect/short/nice touch, god..und zo, we’re in the final home stretch of Jesuz on a Stick week..block that street, close that calle…i’ m a bit blase by now, if not also (fill in the blanks)..

ah, rumors/gossip? per a usually semi-reliable source, there’s a gang of two on a moto, doing hit/run stick-ups, for the last month or so…per same, a stick-up at 5pm last friday, under the Arches(and not McDonalds)…where the hell is our locak Kojak,  Mr Cervantes? …probably, along with the recently dismissed Mr INGUAT, replaced for being too good and the need for a job for someone’s nephew..

look’s like I missed a helluva wedding yesterday..Marc and Marina..having done one Guate wedding last month, I think I’ve made my quota for the year: at the point when the priest asks if anyone has any objections, I’m loath(inclined)to jump up and shout…WTF? are you serious? i had to explain last week to the marvelous Marbel that in the Youy ESS of A, 50% of all marriages end in divorce..or as Matt B once related, via a divorce attorney, if you knew that the airline had a 50% crash rate, would you fly with them? ‘having been down the bridal path 4X, you might think that i’m being septical..no, skeptical..would I? maybe, if she owned a liquor distributor network and a serious trust fund and I drafted the pre-nups…jeez, i actually had a ‘pre-nup’ once..as with a lotta things, i forgot all about it..could she come after me, now? hah!…no, a big double HAH! or hah-hah..i think it was recorded but she’d have to find it, etc…rotsa ruck..

yep, I’m stuck in town for this week…two serious appointments re ‘the silly little booklet’..after that, writing up a great NGO, ‘Houses to Homes’…I, as usual, had no idea..Barb K goes under the knife(serious surgery)this week..send good vibes, please.

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or a medium-rare…I’m in the midst of a “Pink Slime’ article and the more I read, the more my stomach turns: Guatemala is lucky in that we can watch the butcher cut off the chunk and then stuff it into the grinder…what’s next ‘up there?’..right, the 3 governors are doing stand-up comedy routines trying to put this fire out..rotsa luck…

that subject started a round of disgusting comments at the 5 o’clock meeting of the 4 Mousketeers and it only went sideways from there…thanks, Reed, for the Costa Rica angle, which led to the following(unfit for most readers but it did make the front page of the India Times)


and you wonder why I sometimes write under a ‘nom de plume?’ i guess whatever ‘cover’ i thought i may have had is now ‘blown’…so to speak..the latest version of “Our Obscene Man etc’ is now out..no, not THAT kind of out…out/about with my little black shoulder bag, schlepping copies hither, thither and yon: people! buy up/out those older versions so we can all restock($$)manana, eh?…mentioned to Reed that I have just enough frequent flier miles to get from her…here to San Jose(CR)…will i ever grow up/go back? hey, if i did, it would only be to re-test my roulette system(trust me)and no, i’m not posting any photos..ask and ye may shall receive…

‘seems that i’ve become a user/abuser of tuk-tuks, now that i live a bit further out..yeah,i’m older but the spine still takes a licking(don’t go there)…well, maybe..one of our bar owners raging-ranting at another bar tonight…in rare form…ah! Mary spotted! long timee no see…with RT2…Robto de Oro likewise…hows Barb? scheduled for serious surgery on the 6th, if i recall(and not much, thank you) Alzheimer’s friendly, that’s me…meet new people every day….they(whoever ‘they’ are)are still whipping on the old Reilly’s space on upper 5th…what’s it gonna be? dunno..typical..Sangre’s reopened and did something in the far rear..no, back…’rear’…don’t go there..there seems to be a lot  of innuendos in this post…but then, again..innuendo is the italian word for suppository, and yes…i’m going to my room now.

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so…the big ‘decriminalization’  get-together yesterday with the five heads of government of Central America? three…the narco-staters of Nicaragua, Honduras and El Salvador didn’t show up …well, I’m not sure about El Sal but the other two are ‘lay-downs’, which is an old used-car salesman’s word…

Nadoosh, the latest attempt to cash in on the failed ‘hookah’ concept?  been told  that they’re closing up shop soon…probably after Semen Santa..I still don’t get what the hell they were thinking, going up against Gaia..maybe if they’d had nude belly dancers or hash in the hookahs or hookers with hookahs…two of the three would’ve gotten my vote…gawd,hash…ah, the memories..thank you, Reed, for turning me on to Charles Bukowski…and i hear that the three of us left O’lot almost simultaneously last night before getting a blast of verbiage from a 4th party…semi-charming in the best of times..at best..

is it me or is the town more packed than last year? whatever, it’s  great for local merchants who’ve been counting the days if not also accounts payable..I am, now that I’m in this silly little business of print ’em/dump ’em and ask the musical question of ‘where’s the money?’

the ever delighful Miss M and i will be out this week, tripping over the cobblestones and looking for $$..the next 25..totally great/new/expanded/better than peanut butter will be out sometime soon and coming to a store near you..and I’ve lost my taste for the crowds of purple-gowned guys…virtual hordes…it’s like a bad movie about the Guatemalan version of the KKK…’good thing I didn’t take any acid(even if i had any to take)..i’m home on the range, the dogs are mellow, the fish still swim in aimless circles, cha cha cha..maybe more later, maybe not…this is sunday, after all and even god is s’posed to have taken the day off…probably had a good tee time and as i’ve often heard,only god can hit a 1 iron..

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plus attitude…I’m am sooo f…..king lucky to live here: some of you know that i spent ten years plus looking for this Shangri-La…’97, off to Havana….14 times…Costa Rica 34 times, Nicaragua? nah…Granada was too humid, hot and so on..every day I bless this town, walking up one street and down the other…the views, the houses, the ambience, the people, the sense of home and so on…thank you…yes, the place i’m in has a lot of traffic noise…that will change, once i find another place…i’ll miss my ‘barrio’, 4th avenida norte, and everyone whom i see every day…yep…looked at two places today: the long awaited apartment on 1st ave sur? a snarling cocker spaniel guarding three rooms that the term ‘spartan’ would be complimentary…three cells, three doors, no windows and it coulda been a drunk tank..ok…the other? up north…small, furnished, no kitchen…price is right, but…fine..something else will surface..

tonight?Ruslan’s last shift at Ocelot…murmurs of a going away party at Lava tomorrow night…decanting wine? unheard of…except at Travel Menu…Allan Garcia at the helm, pouring wine into a decanter before serving…a touch of class, completely unexpected..

the town? fulla folks, most of whom left at 7ish…bummer to bummer traffic heading back to the City..El Cazador Italiano packed with glossy City babes and their SUV’s outside, being guarded by guards…the sweet Dona Gavi offering seven hugs…yep and seven more for the road..and she’s a grandmother?….fooled me…Pangea sucking for biz, Ocelot packed, Riki’s hoping, wishing and dreaming(stick a fork in them, they’re done, as is Red’s, on 1st calle)…funny how some business’s survive, thrive and others don’t…is the location or the concept?..Mitos on 5th sur? dead…La Sala? struggling…the Cargo Room…?Los Cebollinas, the new joint on 5th calle?  ghost town..it’s all so fu…kng fickle…location or menu? there’s an element of the key people..the owner, the maitre ‘d, the servers..hands on, service with a smile…El Caz has this in spades, as does Ocelot…and the same for Fusion and Sobremesa..it’s all about being greeted and noted…and appreciated..with as many restaurants as Antigua has, the choices are many…it’s the personal touch, which a lot of owners don’t have or care to use..

and again, thanks for whoever’s buying the book…another few today…ka-ching..
Amazon’s got a new feature…check it  out…


you can turn the pages…or the back cover…read Pat F’ comment…and thanks, Pat, for offering to bring in a shipment..Plan B…the boat leaves San Francisco at the end of the month…thanks, Jon M, for the container..damn, i am so lucky/grateful and happy to be living here…paradise..

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the town at mid-day very quiet…what few shops were open you had to wonder why…very last minute presents?….very strange, unless it was better than staying home. Even the street artists were late setting up and the streets? covered with more firework remnants than ever: the only better remains i’ve seen were in Amsterdam, on New Year’s Day…an inch of slush and the streets were pink with paper..yeah, the Dutch…go figure…Maggie M at the counter of el Portal…she’s such an elegant lady.

so…Mexico…spending 52 million dollars on tourist promotion for 2012…plugging all their ‘end of the world’ spots…and how much is INGUAT spending? let’s see, after salaries and perks…52q?  the exception may come next year with a new head guy and Walther F, the local el jefe…if their email announcements of things, happenings and events are any clue, they’re tryin’..what kind of tourist slogan could they come up with? Come to Antigua for the end of the world, after you use the ATM’s at BAC?  gotta give the PNC a tip of the panama, at least for today…they’re patrolling the hellouta the streets…’visibility’..

ever wonder if the street guys who sell the flutes would do better if they learned the theme song from a Fistful of Dollars? or if the guy who’s schlepping the brown Maya figurines would do better if he spray painted them gold? I did all of mine that way and they look great..and no, I didn’t stay up for the midnight orgy of fireworks…earlier there was a parade on 4th norte…that was enough..I’m getting jaded, it looks like.

Sarah G’s back from Hell A…Caffe Bourbon open for the breakfast semi-crowd and even Lili La Prensa took the day off…I  kinda am, still twitching with the graphics for the book cover and blurbs for the back…you think writings’ easy? get it down and then get it edited and then do the publishing route plus graphics? and then marketing? helllooo…watch the pennies roll in, one at a time..hey, I’m retired…what else would I be doing? no, not the Del Rey…Christmas sucks there…oops, wrong adjective…

its beginniing to look a lot like Christmas

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why am I channeling the Big Bopper? well, maybe it’s because i ran into a fearsome double on 5ta norte…Marvel, dressed to kill and then Angel, from Djinn, likewise in a mood…

another quiet evening for the eateries…two bars doin’ biz…dos Reilly’s and Ocelot and that’s all,folks…walked by Flor’s place on 5ta calle…gina c trying on outfits and ignacio…no, not the cuban..ignacio the scoundrel…hammered, as usual…speaking of Reilly’s…a very very bold move to open in Zone 1….Zone 10, yes…wish ’em well and no, i’m not gonna be there for the opening on Friday..

Nelson’s back in town and lining up gigs…good to have him back…i’ve got the schedule via email but if you want it, ask me…

where are the Gallo Girls, the Brahva Babes and the Budweiser Bombs? i haven’t seen them in months..the towns running low on pulchitrude…(great racks) and that said…after having talked about Cuba last night, it occurs to me that Guate babes are superior…in Havana the girls make Spandex look bad…here…much more…uh…shapely?

again..Ocelot’s looking for barmaids…Lucy the Luscious might have the inside track…Marvel, on the inside track, moving up…


also…the Antigua guide book (lite) is published…for the moment, go to www.smashwords.com and plug in ‘our man in antigua’….next week the book goes out to the big book sites…barnes/noble, apple, sony cha cha…after the first of the year, amazon.com and a print version for local consumption..and don’t piss/moan if you’re not in the book..buy the sucker and THEN piss/moan..buy me a drinkypoo and i’ll autograph it..

Peter the H and LM headed for San Juan del Sur!..she’s gotta job waiting…it’s a neat little beach town, close to Costa Rica…great burgers at Big Wave Dave’s…go Lisa! i’m going for another splash of Pavlov…rings my bell and then i start barking..a minor confession, as of yesterday, when i was thinking that i’ve mellowed out…and i mentioned to some folks that i haven’t shot an appliance in 20/30 years…yep…blasted the %$#@! refrigerator one night, but don’t tell..ok…weirdpress is going weird..one last question: if Yoko Ono had remarried Cher’s exhusband and then remarried the lead singer for U2, would she be know as Yoko Ono Bono Bono?..this came about because of all the PNC on the streets tonight…with the Christmas bonus aka bono…walking the streets, on bikes and trucks..lotta cops..

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all too often all there is here is ‘night stuff’…who said what, who was seen hiding out with …etc..I’ve discovered that walking around town from 6am to 7 is perfect in so many ways..the light is clear, sharp and distinct, cuz the usual valley haze hasn’t begun, so the photo ops are perfect. The streets are clear of traffic, people and noise and yes, there’s the occasional pool of multicolored puke, a few mashed dog turds and a scattering of cigarette butts outside Gaia or #35…the croissants are fresh at El Viejo Cafe and the little butcher shop on 6th avenida has the red flag flyin’..

there’s a rare treat for shoppers but you probably need to be there today: in the park is an exhibition of arts/crafts and they’re good…seriously good. I’ve been thru most every arts/crafts from Panama to San Cristobal de las Casas…Costa Rica sucks, aside from the Panamanian molas brought up  by Manolo(in San Jose)Nicaragua? only the village of Masaya is worth seeing…Honduras? fuggedaboutit…they’re so laid back that Copan Ruinas doesn’t have shoe shine boys…the local Lions/Rotarians tried to get a project going there, bought new shoe shine kits and no one wanted to partake..El Salvador? as much as I like the place, Gautemala is ‘it’…and Antigua, expecially today. How many more shopping days til Christmas?  damfino..

looks like that Livingston Cafe on 5th calle has given up the ghost…they were next to the Bagel Barn…not any more..the ‘cuisine’ concept didn’t pan out….drum roll…today? 6pm, Neil the Craig’s last shift as a bartender at Ocelot..yeah, he’s got some other ideas cookin’…something to do with beer…I’m still shakin’ my head at Brielle’s gallery success at PV…sold 8 outa 14? some kind record..we walked past the morning congregation of AL outside El Portal yesterday…heads swiveled..’had to explain that she’s the daughter of friends…nope, nothing more…hell, i’m older than her folks.

I love the way that Lily the Newspaper Lady hoses down her corner in the mornings…broom, soap, water..smiles..”Prensa Libre!”  she quit selling the Bingo tickets, my last hope for fame and fortune…wonder why? 

had a long conversation with my 94 yr old mom in missouri earlier…8am, electric blanket set at 9(high)and asking’why Guatemala?”…well…the climate, the beauty, the cheapness of living here..medical, transport…yeah, this country is as corrupt as India and that’s a world wide standard. Yeah, paperwork takes a year or so…so? Comparison shopping? out the door of Bodegona with Bloody Mary kit…vodka, two limes, can of local V8 juice, pack of cigarettes…50q..top that, San Francisco..no listeria in the cantaloupes, no arsenic in the chicken, Bull Durham’s xlnt pork chops, 2 to a pound, 24q..La Rosa Cristal, 3rd calle..yep..’definitely made the right choice for a place in the sun and a great little town to live in: it ain’t perfect but it’s damn close.  

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