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Archive for the ‘golf’ Category

music! Nelson is playing multiple gigs..Panza Verde, Frank’s Place, Angie Angie’s…whew…Dr J and Piano Mike, an unlikely duo, at the Exit Inn tomorrow at 8pm…Alex’ latest creation/restaurant about to open in the rear of Nido Antigua.
and the mess they call 5th calle poniente(west)..workers working at 7pm, trying to finish the screw-up…Christophe says it’s been five weeks of hell and with the first of the big-time processions/with crowds beginning tonight…ah, Antigua..you really know how to screw things up. And no usual Friday night municipal band concert at the Palacio? why?…street under repair, that’s why..the Marimbas under City Hall had a crowd, some dancing.

changes? o where to start? the lower level bar at Casbah is gone…reverted to Djinn, one of the last shops..which means that Marvelous Marbel is out of a job, at least for now…heard that four bars have recently been raided/shut down for various infractions, with Las Vibras being one…the other three? dunno…unconfirmed info, as usual with A-Town..

and the traffic cops were actually directing traffic! as in working! the trail of cars leaving town was bummer to bummer..oops..bumper..
und zo..it’s a starry night, meaning a cold one..wrap up with someone, is my advice.
and tomorrow? the outflow of the latest public printing of Our Man in Antigua, hither, thither and yon..and it’s being included in the 2015 edition of the Moon/Guatemala Travel Guide (the best)..whoopee, I say..go to the Amazon site (they just sent me $$)at http://www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer for the latest specials, some free.
so, it’s a choice between starting the fire or sending out for two fat women…eskimo stuff, you know…it’s the ‘fire’…cheaper/easier/less hassle and I figured out why there’s the occasional crease in my right knee…propped against the tuk-tuk frame to avoid the bumps…hah, he said…I came back in tuk-tuk #3, who is starting a hamburger business across the street from an existing hamburger place, Hamburguesa Gigante…neither will survive..the new Dunkin’ Donuts, across from Burger King on 3rd calle pon/west?…lines of people and they MIGHT make it..go out and make it a great weekend, somewhere, somehow..la vida es corte/life is short, we know.

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in that I’m blessed to have gotten this far, in this year of monthly setbacks, get backs and wise-cracks…don’t ever mention ‘container ships’ to me, ok? once was more than enough.

in yet another case of transcultural migration, Mono Loco is/has opened a branch in the City, following in the footsteps of Luna Miel and Reilly’s…I’m not sure if it’s a case of having too much business here in Antigua rather than just going where the $$$ is/are. This town has too many bars/restaurants/dives to support already, even with the ones with ‘no visible means of support’…

Nicky the Z! I’ve been wondering where he’d gone to….in the park this morning and lo/behold, he’s landed on his feet again: running a driving range and giving golf lessons in the City, just what he’s always wanted to do…sound familiar? remember the movie, “Tin Cup?”

a face from the Dark Side, “She Who Must Be Obeyed” seen in Bodegona this morning…thank you, god, for sparing me…and yes, more and more of the annual ‘snowbirds’ return to Antigua, cluttering up the benches in the morning…now we’re at two bench fulls and counting. With the return of Reid C/Robto Bookstein next week, that may well add up to three bench-loads of blabber. As I said to Jon Mellen/Epicure this morning, all the conversations are centered around food/recipes, with an occasional reference to Depends…women? as if…I’m trying to quit.

and one of the more insane rumors heard so far(this week)…Immigration is coming to a bar near you, in search of illegal gringo workers…it’s been said, or rather I heard, that it has happened once before here…the fine? 10000q and  deportation…wait: if they skim the 10000q, how can you afford a plane ticket? maybe it’s just a room on a banana bucket leaving Puerto Barrios…I dunno/you know how this town runs on gossip/chisme and rumors..if you can top this one, spread it around tomorrow, thickly…at any rate, I’m exceedingly grateful for all that came my way this year: Neitsche once said ‘that what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.’…Neetsche? Notchysky? f….king spelchuk…enjoy yourself tonight….do not kiss the cobblestones, eh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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am i tuning in later? not a chance…i’ve become, shall we say, ‘apolitical’….the clowns are running the circus up there and for the first time ever…I’m not voting this year. 

so far, so good…Umbrella #2 is still holding together. One more month and my usual purchase/destructo of 5 -6 will make this a record year and a good thing…in some weird fashion(some may call it typical)I lost my $%#@! debit card Monday…yeah, left front pocket, wrapped around with 100’s…i get home w/the hundreds but minus the card..yep, cancelled it and now…just how long will it take for my bank in the upper YouEss to deliver a new one? last time was 3 weeks…CA to my FL P.O.box, onweird to Caniz in Antigua…fine..I needed to lose weight anyway.

Sodden Thought/Totally Unsubstantiated Rumor…a year ago I was told by a local publican(bar owner)that Sangre had been bought by the ex-mayor of Joco….fast forweird….Adolfo, our charismatic dapper mayor, used to be the ex-mayor of Joco..does this mean that 1+1 equaks 3?  I dunno…you tell me..

a friend had his rental car swiped last week…parked in broad daylight, 7th ave north, a few doors from the police station…he called the cops, they called the rental people and because the car had GPS, the rental office was able to remotely kill the engine…short story is that the thieves, in their haste to flee, left a key ring fulla blank keys for this and other models…sophisticated..’heard that 6 cars a day are stolen in Antigua per the cops…no, not BY the cops..per the cops..the #1 model for theft? Mazda!  at the bottom of the list? Volkswagens….and yes, I haven’t been out at night lately…so if I’m missing anything, that’s why…i’ve just noticed that the carillons(bells)are working in the clock over the Arch…..kinda a nice touch..Any sign of Nicky Z, ex-headpro of La Reunion?…last i heard he and his sister were trying to organize golf tours to there from places like Canada?…sorry about the lack of depth/meaningful chit-chat here…it is Hump Day and maybe by tomorrow..etc..

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yeah, it surprised me too: in the back room of the Sunshine Grill(upper north 6th avenida), where two of the B Team Gallo Girls were tonight, clutching roses and looking somewhat apprehensive(the dart board was getting action)…yeah, The B team: a little too porky here and there…’tried their ribs last night and….the meat fell off the bone, wedge cut fries and a greek salad that tasted/looked like a real one…had they used cucumbers instead of onions, it would’ve been ‘opah!’ time…cue Zorba..

The Cashbah Revolution is going full-tilt…Steve Wintershaw doing the wall murals and La Canoa taking over the top level for a restaurant…no idea what’s going on with the lower level/disco…is disco dead? at last?

The El Save-a-Dorenos are in town, with fancy SUV’s, fancy women and spending $$$..was told that they return, like the swallows to Capistrano/monarch butterflies to Pacif Grove (obscure California references) every first week of August….Sobremesa doing fine, the ice cream shop has two new faces serving up stuff and what’s new? wattle seed ice cream…some kinda Aussie thing, I was told…the Spanish Schools are back, the hostels have action and there’s a lot of white folks, young and old, in town..and about time…maybe August will wipe out the long faces left over from June and July..

#4 Calle 5th between the Bagel Barn and the health food store..vacant again…stick a ‘spa’ in there. What is a ‘Mayan Massage’ as advertised here and there? I remember what a Thai massage was…two Thai girls, an air mattress and a lotta liquid soap..

Price Wars! the travel agencies are getting antsy…the best deals I’ve seen are from Chisubin, on 6th calle oriente, #6, across from Hermano Hair Shirt Pedro Hospital..seriously..when my check clears from the Sperm Bank, I’m going somewhere…’shouldn’t be hard: people tell me where to go every day..

ah…ch’ch’changes…Nicky the Z is outa the job as Head Pro at La ReUnion as of yesterday…not exactly a kosher move by two of the partners, not notifying their other ‘partners’ but he’s taking it in stride(visualize this)and making plans with his sister…the sister! I might have made inappropriate remarks regarding her decolletage in Ocelot but she was distracting me, dammit..and very nicely, thank you…women: can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em…well, unless you’re a washed up/out sexagenerian with bad memories of the good mammaries…yeah, the moral tone of this, assuming there was any to start with, is gone…downhill, over the edge and gonzo…enjoy the end of the weak and I won’t mention that Judy and Linnett were talking about playing ‘Cornhole’..only in Antigua.

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yet again, dinosaur brain…thanks to Nicky Z and Monica, I’m embarked on yet another techno-trip…an ‘app’ creation for the ‘Our Man in Antigua-stan’ project. I was surprised by two things in the last two weeks..no, make that 3 or 4….seeing a tourist couple on the streets of Our Town with a new copy of a real guide book…#2 seeing a tourist on the steps of the church in Chi-Chi, amidst the Mayas swinging incense at the doors and snapping shots with her Ipad..cognitive dissonance, we used to call that…now, it’s  just WTF?

let’s get the bad news outa the way…the founder of one of my two favorite NGOs left the country today….with not good medical news…of all the people who is/has been doing good stuff and of all the jerk-offs who remain here. It ain’t fair.

so…north 5th avenida? judging from the leftover cig butts outside Gaia/Studio 35, it musta been a good night. The old location of Reilly’s still…still under re-modeling..what is it gonna be? Cashbar? WTF? It would appear that the Center of Gravity, food/bev wise is/has shifted south…5th calle, 6th calle..south of the park…who knows anymore? the changing profile/paradigm of this years tourist flow has altered a lot of stuff…73% Christos, 10% backpackers, 10% spanish students (with the invariable blonde amazingly finding an after hours tutor…you know, for the in-depth stuff) less see…73+10+10 is …93? throw in a few unaffiliated and there’s the market(or lack of it, $$-wise) odd thought#8…’watched the Coca-Cola trucks unloading this morning and wondered….who does more biz, the beer industry or Coke?

yeah, dragged kicking and screaming into the 20th Century…even one of my contemporaries in town bought an Iphone this week..cue the Who…’Talkin’ about my Generation’…Monica told me to throw away my 6 year old motorola razr…but I haven’t even figured out all the functions…damn it, woman..yeah, my thing is to set it on ‘vibrate’ put it in a front pocket and hope someone calls..

I think(sic)that I may have figured out ‘sidewalk etiquette’ in this town…here’s how I see it: if you’re carrying anything, take the inside and make ’em step off the curb. Step off the curb for the basket ladies(Mayas with a basket of ….. on their heads) couples with a baby in the stroller and any two babes that might smile at the act of a gentleman(and give you a longer moment to…uh…’appreciate their assets). Am i wrong here? 

the latest version of “Our Man etc’ goes via the flash drive to Frener printers on Monday and on the streets the following week…some new ‘in”s, some new outs..look, it’s a changing scene here, ok and I’m just a one-trick pony….ooh, that sounds weird..

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pirate ebonics? ah, it was a typical Sunday….crowds in the park, the streets…Andy the Mime workin’ 5th Ave, the marimba concert at City Hall…folks dancin’….Alex of Sobremesa exhausted after a party of 37(rehearsal dinner)…Tartines closed on a Sunday? yep…Carlos Tomas back at the helm of Dyslexia, sorting books/paperwork(and a good thing)

Chez Chris doing dinners…Da Vinci not…Marbel? yep…dos Reilly’s and looking good…Maite M at La Caz, in an ebullient mood: she said she’s playing tennis in the morning and did i have balls? answer: yes…three, because two isn’t enough….drum roll…ah, I’ve been wondering where Miss Emma has been(she wouldn’t tell) but she’s got a new pooch, which Ocelot let her sit at the bar with and I left just before the usual motley crew of the Pub Quiz trickled in…Plumb Bob, for example.

That short-lived fish market on 6th calle, across from the Tanque Verde…threw in the towel, closed their doors, sign  up saying…”that’s all, folks” more or less…my Guatemalan head cold is slowly fading, day by day: thought about playing golf tomorrow and realized that I couldn’t make it past 2 or 3 holes, kind of a general metaphor for my life anyway….age is slapping me around, but I’ll always have mammaries…no..memories..let’ see: A + B equals C?

Upper 5ta dead…Gaia, Studio 35, Red’s…Djinn’s Angel? let me suck….no, not really..she swung and missed…i ducked and ran..she is such a witch..tomorrow, the latest edition of ‘Our Man etc” hits the streets here….no more ‘First/Second Edition” stuff…it got outa hand, with the continual additions…ah! Sunshine Grill! yeah, baby!…their pizza is hand tossed and wood-fired in a brick oven…the real deal…’owner spent time in Canada and NYC and knows his pizza…I munched a slice comin’ home,of pepperoni…add some ‘italian sugar’ aka red chili flakes, maybe some ‘shrooms…Yankees on the tube at the bar…hmm..and cozy…I’ve been hearing about it for a while…whew..one more week of June and we get to flip the bird…no, calendar…flip off whoever you feel like, even Flipper…ever hear that he was gay?

 

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if you had problems finding a tuk-tuk today, blame it on the demonstration along the Santa Lucia regarding the shooting/murder of a driver in Joco last night…yeah, they carry a lot of money: one of them, last week, couldn’t change a 50q note for me…did the perp hijack the tuk-tuk and depart for parts unknown? no answer…dumb move…

one of our local bar owners displaying an unusual amount of $$$ recently…from whence it came? rumors swirl….Da Mayor seems to have dispensed with his blacked-out Chevy Suburban in favor of a Mitsu SUV…maybe he had to trade the title to one of his lawyers?

another restauranteur or two off on a looong trip…where? no one knows or at least no one(staff)isn’t talking…probably just as well, since June is shaping up as a big flopperoo for many in the food/bev industry here…hey, at least we’ve got Fuego to watch at night: the lightning last night was exceedingly spooky…like the tree that falls in the forest and no one hears it..right? is there day light activity that we can’t see? maybe I need to ask one of the dogs..woof? no…woof woof..

and…a sizeable storm off the Pacific side of Guate…o good..more rain, mud and stuff…given that Otto the Prez is scheduled to visit Take-a-Lick Abaj next week, maybe by then he’ll take a rain check…hell, take a rain chick and stay in Rayo instead.

Robt Wheat, aka Plumb Bob, Alabama or whatever and one of the usual crew in the Beige Bomb,  taking off for San Salvador with what’s her face…Evilyn/Evelyn…weekend kinda getaway..Evilyne? Evil Lynne? nah, she’s sweet/nice and i like her..speaking of San Salvador, an amazing event underway: one of my oldest pals, whom I’ve known for 15 years(we met in Havana)is bailing from San Sal and moving to Malta..major WTF? and no, he hasn’t answered ‘why’…weird stuff..gotta wife, house and car in San Sal…this obviously means going to Lips in San Salvador and having a word with Dan, the owner and puts the kibosh of playing golf there (JK had a membership at Veraneras)…well, hell…Lips? yeah, it’s ‘hell’ but someone’s gotta do it.

‘scotch those rumors?’…refers to Bull Durham who’s got me drinking scotch again…waiting on tomorrows delivery of a rack of xlnt Tecpan pork ribs, as are the dogs…jamesdurham2@gmail.com for the very best in pork related articles/products..tomorrow? who knows or cares? since I’ve stopped wearing a watch I’ve become noticeably….as Tom Swift once said, ‘lackadaisical’ meaning i don’t care about flowers or much else…welcome to Antigua, Pilgrim…

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