Archive for the ‘golf’ Category

kinda night…humid, waiting for the rain/lightning…Fuego blowing massively off to the west…yeah, ‘Body Heat’, back when Kathleen Turner was a babe and hadn’t porked out.

Ximena, ex-El Muro, remarking that June is slow for business…yep…be glad that we’re not in the food/bev biz or retail. .Sobremesa, doing tables and the only action on that side of town(or anywhere else)…weird, how some nights the center of food gravity shifts, kinda like the current influx of spanish school students…most of the schools doin’ biz and as usual the blonde gringas acquire after-hours ‘tutors’…

Beverly of Lava sporting a new cast on her foot….no, not ‘rough sex’…i asked, ok?…MM of El Portal with another new boyfriend(2nd of the week and it’s only Wednesday)….she does train them quickly and they usually are relegated to taking care of her dogs…’sit, roll over, play dead’…sounds like some of my marriages.

Rich Neel organizing a Sunday trip to the road/track/races…cars, at the track out towards Escuintla…8am, the park..limited seating.

Da Mayor, spiffy in a gray suit, seen ‘lawyered up’ about six…yep, gave him a freebie copy of a First Edition “Our Man, etc’…something to read in the courtroom..maybe, just maybe the printer will have the latest version out tomorrow(promised for today)…right…half presold…where’s the money?

dos Reilly’s dead, Da Vinci/Chez Chris lo mismo…Ocelot supported only by the usual Lush Hour hard-core group of 5-6 slurpers..yeah, i had one, ok?

Cashbar? closed again/still? yeah..Mondays, Tuesdays and now Wednesdays? makes sense…Sangre tried a 2/1 breakfast special for a day or so…no go..upper 5th is becoming even more of a grave-yard..no word on the proposed changes, if any, for La Sala…Julio partnered up with Mario B of Johnny’s and we’ll see what develops..given the slow changes on 5th Calle, maybe that part of town will see some kinda renaissance..El Gato Negro slow, so the backpackers haven’t made a dent, $$ wise…the Christian groups here for a week or two left, matching t-shirts and all and no word/count on how many souls or children saved..in the immortal words of Marjoe, “glory gee to Beezus!’

and no, the proposed trip up the coast to Take-a-Lick Abaj on ‘hold’..Tom aka Richard Petty Martin ran the Beige Bomb into the rear of a truck last week…in the rain, in the City and the brakes malfunctioned…some crumpled hood stuff, nothing major but it put a damper on going up the country, a la Canned Heat…   

bizarre-ness….the owners of La ReUnion(that 80 million dollar place outa town?) the golf course that’s world-class? They have no idea what the PGA is, or who Jack Nicklaus is, much less the US Open….whew…A Pete Dye course that they paid thru the nose for and still don’t have a clue about the golf business? yeah, they know who Tiger Woods is, if only because they watched the porno movie of ‘Tiger’s Woodie’..only in Guatemala, eh?

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fire flies! flitting around the patio…hey, it doesn’t take much for me to get excited…Sierra Harding’s birthday today…yeah, she worked the evening shift at O’lot but was surrounded by well wishers…even a few gifts here and there…she is, after all, very sweet..as is Tracy and Beverly..

ah, more ATM stuff…’been told that if one uses a Citibank card at the BAC ATM’s, Citi automatically shuts it off…the 5B machine down the street at Banco Whatever has gone wierd on me since Sunday…today they ripped the guts out of it..my card was put on hold but I sweet-talked my bank in the Us into a release…whew…amazing how a few Q in the pocket makes life a bit better…so, the volcano? nope, didn’t do anything to the golf course at La Re Union…Nicky Z and latest girl friend at O’lot…hey, he’s got it…Rich Neel reporting that the races at the Pedro Cofino track out by Esquintla are worth seeing..yep, put me down…june 17th, assuming that the proposed road trip to Take a Lik Abaj isn’t happening  at that time.

so..a quiet semi-rainy night…Flor was florescent..Dasha, of course..the ever delightful Ms M getting off her shift at dos Reillys…town fulla gringas..why? volunteers/spanish schools? they’re young, they’re mostly blond and they’re….built really well..hey, i just call it like i see it, ok?

Tuesday night and Cashbar is closed? Monday nights i understand..but Tuesday?…a sign of the times, i s’pose..the old Reilly’s location is still getting work done: what it’s gonna be is anyone’s guess…kinda like La Estancia, which burnt down a year ago and only now is/are the roof joists going up..and again, as I said to Nick Z, I’m amazed at how thin the cash layer is in town…some folks can’t cash a 100q note, some don’t have a 100q…and i’m talking about established business’…


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a long conversation with our  local golf pro in Ocelot last night…he lamenting the lack of vision with his employers…to put it in some kind of perspective we live in a country the size of Tennessee but with twice the population…’run by a small group of oligarchs, similar to the Jack Daniels folks, the Coors dynasty, the Hearst’ family and so on…they like things just the way they are…why change? it works for me but then I’m of an age that i no longer really give a shit about much…so what if France goes weird and Greece goes under, followed by Spain? to keep it further in perspective, we live in a country where the largest bill is $24 and a lot of places can’t cash a 100q note..it’s charming, frequently maddening but that’s what keeps us(me)laughing every day.

‘ran into Big Paul Wever, along with Henrik/wife outside of Chez Chris last night…’how’s Wendy?’….she’s fine, traveling, having the time of her life..was just in Slovenia lately..where’s that, you ask? it’s a slice of what was Czechoslovakia(ask the delectible Gabi A for details)…can you say ‘Bratislava?’…hey, it’s close…miss G ran me thru hoops a while ago when I suggested that she was Czech…aside from all that, it was a quiet Monday night in town…Marcel of El Caz riding his bad little black bike to work(and it didn’t rain)

Tennessee? yep…minus the Hill Billies, Jethro and Ellie Mae..substitute Ron Zacapa for Jack Black and there you have it…this just in and a tad late…INGUAT’s email list, of which I’m included…just sent me the list of events for February, March and April…ooh, are they up to speed or what?…answer is ‘what?’….Walter Fischer, who used to run the local office,is long gone and it shows…dipshits…Feb, March and April?   yeah, sometimes it’s charming and sometimes it’s dumb…the answer is ‘B’…

did someone say ‘road trip?’…now that ‘Banned from Belize” Bob Wheat has settled down and the latest trip involving TM and the Beige Bomb has receded into memory…there’s talk of taking a little jaunt over to Take-a-Lick Abaj…near, Ray-hoo, if you recall my adventures of last year about this time…one thing different is that having been there, stayed there and scouted out where the Ron Botran and ice is, it’s easier this time…the Beige Bomb, TM, and Mr Can’t get into Belize Wheat? sounds like something outa the electric kool-aid acid test journeys, where ‘further’ isn’t just another word..stay tuned…I gotta feeling about this..

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as part of my never ending search for truth, justice and….wait: I’m channeling Superman?

anyway, ‘earth to ground’ and after a week of food stalls/fairs/processions in and around La Merced, the sidewalks are greasy and the pigeon population almost non-existent…is there a relationship/clue/causal factor? from this one can gather that ‘torpor’ is the theme here, ‘lite’ and minimal relationships to  substance…Mike the C mentioning that he’s considering making a major move here (real estate) Nicky Z, La Reunions’ head pro talking of some strange proposed invention for golfers…which actually, given my own experiences in the New Age World of Wackos, might just workl..ask  him about ‘chakras’ and be prepared for laughter…O’lot’/Lava doing their usual Slappy Hour of Regulars…CArla B getting ready to  head for the Lake next week for her newest reincarnation(that’s not where you come back as a flower)..shit! April 15th! Tax Time! as if I pay but i gotta file and tomorrows the 1oth!..Turbo Tax!…screw..that messes up a half day of calculated and creative number-crunching…Victoria C, closing up El Reino del Jade at 6:30…she is sooo elegant…like Claudia #1 at DV tonight…two of the most beautiful women in town…as is the divine Miss M…who seems to be off-planet…got a terse ‘ok’ email from her on Sunday…nothing more since then(and i popped for her business cards this morning…o well..it is/was an exceedingly quiet night in the food/beverage industry in town…those who were closed ‘got the concept’ and those who weren’t should have…there’s some tense anticipation for a cruise ship arrival  tomorrow amongst the local street vendors..’cruceros!’…unfortunately they’re not big spenders:  it’s been said that they’re good for $20 per head (if that)getcher flute and mayan weaving!

tax time…it slipped up on me…blame it on the processions, the bossa nova or the vodka..hey, those of you(not me)who pay get to pick up the GSA tab in ‘Vegas…ca ching!

Marvel! babe, i need you…there’s the shipment ready to go(be sold)…earth to ground, come in, Marbel..went by Angie’s after 6…closed..por que? Dyslexia, ‘open to 7’…closed..as i said/wrote earlier…’torpor’…i’m goin’ to the patio and listen to the koi carp about their existence…  

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so…the big ‘decriminalization’  get-together yesterday with the five heads of government of Central America? three…the narco-staters of Nicaragua, Honduras and El Salvador didn’t show up …well, I’m not sure about El Sal but the other two are ‘lay-downs’, which is an old used-car salesman’s word…

Nadoosh, the latest attempt to cash in on the failed ‘hookah’ concept?  been told  that they’re closing up shop soon…probably after Semen Santa..I still don’t get what the hell they were thinking, going up against Gaia..maybe if they’d had nude belly dancers or hash in the hookahs or hookers with hookahs…two of the three would’ve gotten my vote…gawd,hash…ah, the memories..thank you, Reed, for turning me on to Charles Bukowski…and i hear that the three of us left O’lot almost simultaneously last night before getting a blast of verbiage from a 4th party…semi-charming in the best of times..at best..

is it me or is the town more packed than last year? whatever, it’s  great for local merchants who’ve been counting the days if not also accounts payable..I am, now that I’m in this silly little business of print ’em/dump ’em and ask the musical question of ‘where’s the money?’

the ever delighful Miss M and i will be out this week, tripping over the cobblestones and looking for $$..the next 25..totally great/new/expanded/better than peanut butter will be out sometime soon and coming to a store near you..and I’ve lost my taste for the crowds of purple-gowned guys…virtual hordes…it’s like a bad movie about the Guatemalan version of the KKK…’good thing I didn’t take any acid(even if i had any to take)..i’m home on the range, the dogs are mellow, the fish still swim in aimless circles, cha cha cha..maybe more later, maybe not…this is sunday, after all and even god is s’posed to have taken the day off…probably had a good tee time and as i’ve often heard,only god can hit a 1 iron..

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‘being a sexagenerian my days are often spent talking about food rather and sex/drugs…usually…there’s a brand of english muffins at Bodegona put out…oops, wrong word…made/baked by Europa that’s indistinguishable from many US bakers (meaning that i can’t remember the brand that advertised the ‘nooks and crannies’ thing..trust me…right…later, when the brain (sic)kicked in..Thomas’ English Muffins, not to be confused with some of our local barmaids.

it’ s been a great day for the ‘bookette’, Our Man in Antigua..some xlnt leads and introductions plus the idea of having/creating an ‘app’ for it…thank you, Nicky Z!..

and John Korte, the traveling guy? just back from the wilds of Ecuador and points in between and organizing another tour..ask him about trout fishing at 12ooo feet and the rubber worm..classic and worthy of ‘A River Runs Through It’…and again, major kudos to our own Luke Maguire Armstrong for his prize winning essay on having a suit made here in Antigua…

Da Vinci! doing several tables tonight! great smiles on Luis’ and Claudia #2’s faces..the upstairs/terrace is almost ready for business…and no, LM on having dinner there with C#1, Flor or she who you met yesterday…too many ex-wives, ex-girlfriends and I’m just an old fish thats been hooked too many times: yeah, I love lookin’ at them and perhaps a fantasy now and then..however, that’s not to say that i”m completely….et cetera..who knows?

other than that…a quiet night for whatever eateries/bars i passed by…thanks to Ole at Travel Menu i have backup sources for ‘app’ writers…great conversation with Max of El Muro this morning..this guy never…NEVER quits thinking of ways to work his business: Monday nights, which are usually deadzo, are now big time at El Muro and…yeah, he’s gotta new crop of tasty barmaids..Belgian babes…Thursdays are becoming a big deal…i probably should, in the name of science, check in..he’s got potential buyers who are persistent but he’s happy the way things are..and that’s a position a lot of bars in this burg would love to be in…Sangre? open tonight! why? no customers as usual..everyone else on 5th doing a few tables here and there…as i said to Max this morning..there are only two businesses that I’d ever consider: a parking lot or an ice-making business…minimal maintenance and constant use..cash flow etc…365 days a year…ca ching!

and…my youngest daughter, newly married in CA to a Welshman…she confesses to reading this blog…damn..do i need to change/delete or deny?…answer? nope..she knows me too well..that said, you know(or should)than not everything i hear, see or am told makes its here..i’d be tarred/feathered and used as a Semana Santa display otherwise..’ Oh, Christ, that’s Sherer up there?’ yep…’gee, I can see all of Jerusalem from up here’ or gimme another hit of that incense..

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6 of one, half dozen…or not…Bodegona has a new mexican import, Cacique…cana squeezins’…cheapo at the depot and i suppose that one drank enough, you’d be bat-shit sooner or later…tune in later..

the almost full moon is up, Jupiter is high in the western sky and i don’t have a clue about Uranus…nor do i want to…Peter and Lisa Marie plus pooches gracing Ocelot’s 5 O’Clock Lush Hour…tis very good to see them again, as I thought they were gone from this town for good…there’s always a few people(to me, at least) that i enjoy their presence…there’s always a few that I’d chip in for cab fare to the airport for, just to get ’em outa town….thanks again, to the disgruntled person who wrote last week..’fuck your dumb blog’…i agree…

the tasty Gina C and friends at her usual stool…oops..seat at El Portal…Flor of Dasha waiting til 7 to lock up..Karla H stepping in at the Whisky Den, Robto de Oro relating that sister Barb is outa the country now, back to Chi-Town for some medical stuff..his long time project on the ‘river’ is looking better than ever…gotta crew that he can depend on(for a change)and weird stories…nope, too wierd to pass on…something about the ‘daughter of the Prime Minister of Hungary’…or maybe it was the Minister of the Prime Daughter of ….hey, it’s the Pistol Club…drink til six and pistol six fifteen..Nicky Z there and a few others, checking in with their electronic ‘pads of one kind or the other..the techno curve of these devices has long passed me…

Ricardo’s Tabacos y Vinos doing a full on crowd tonight…Mario B of Johhny’s seen knocking on Cashbar’s door…they’re closed on Mondays..the witchy Angel of Djinn being her usual witchy self..it was/still is a quiet Monday night…hordes of young white girls prowling the calles..for what? a minor confession: the two guys playing andean music in the park and on 5ta norte weekends? i’ m beginning to like their music more than Paco and the Gang at La Pena…yeah, the extra large fat guy…not me…him..

maybe..just maybe, tomorrow the press run of the 2nd Edition locally…and once more..there never has been a hard copy of the Smashwords version..only the First Edition has been placed on the streets of A-Town and if that %$#@! container ship ever shows up, there’s another 50 copies to be spread about…get that? i know, who cares? only me…and maybe, the marvelous Marbel..(not Flor’s sister, btw)…go outside and look up in the sky…is that Uranus?

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