Archive for the ‘Mexico’ Category

or is it ‘tails?’….as mentioned earlier the Roatan ‘mess’ hopefully will see some long-awaited daylight by the end of the week…the source is as close as it gets…there was/is more but…cross your fingers that this gets resolved…

lookin' for a gig

Malinalli, aka Mali…in town fresh from Mexico…already met Angel the Mysterious One who works at Djinn…both probably reincarnated princesses from some ancient kingdom…Mali, besides the dancing stuff and tending bar, has several languages: malinalli@gmail.com  should work, since her mexican phone doesn’t here…they have ten digit numbers, as opposed to our 8 numbers…you might catch her at Gaia this week…a couple of bar owners have expressed a verbal interest…be the first one on your block if interested…the night? groups eating here and there…Fusion 2 doing fine, 709 next door getting serious or antsy…advertising 40/50/60% off their goods…como Sangre, advertising liquor (rum, vodka, whiskey)at 3 q a shot…
Chicago Mike….no, Piano Mike returns to A-Town August the 23rd…Adan at the Korg tonight…El Caz Italiano…Marcel’s big bad blue Chevy returned from it’s recent exile in the shop..Neil C at O’lot, maybe wondering how/why P’geas doing a table of 8 or so..what appears to be a pattern is that there is no pattern…backpackers descending in van loads, christians, dutch girls…wtf?

twist and shout

stinkin’ font/centering key engaged…El Muro’s Twisted Tuesdays, the corollary to their Thursday night thing?…yeah, the liquor’s free,some of it…rum mainly…Max knows his crowd(the babes last night were spectacular)and he knows that everyone prefers beer….so, he’s racking up good numbers selling beer off the ‘free drink’ ads…maybe also he gets first crack at the City crowd as they’re comin’ in to town to party…whatever, it’s working.
Need a Corporation? i have two for sale….one a Costa Rica corp with a bank account and a dented ATM card(yep, they got me too)…the other a Belize Corp…walk in,open an account at a friendly bank and get a debit card…I hate Belize and i ‘ve been to CR too many times (35+) …the prices? reasonable..very..my start-up costs…single shareholder status…bearer shares…Belize is bullet-proof, CR rolled over for the IRS a couple of years ago but they’d have pierce the corporate veils..as did Panama recently…

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I recently heard a version of events involving someone that I’ve always liked: let’s just call him Pirate John and I don’t think he’d mind that tag, since that’s been his persona here, there and a few other places. A few weeks ago I was stunned to hear of his placement on a certain list known as Interpol, involving shenanigans in Roatan. If you’ve spent any time on that pirate base, you’ll come to the conclusion that piracy is still alive and well there. The politics are incestuous, the attorneys avaricious and people get away with murder. Take the case of a well-connected local named Danny a couple of years ago: he’d warned a local small-time crook nick-named ‘Bin Laden’ to stay out of his property. ‘Bin Laden’ apparently took this as a personal challenge and returned one fateful night to steal a few more coconuts. Danny promptly shot him seven times, once for every purloined coconut. While ‘Bin Laden’ lies six feet under, Danny freely drives around and he’s regarded as a pillar of the community. This concept of ‘community policing’ and modern day piracy may be what’s been going on at the West End, where “P.J” used to live and develop condo projects. Once removed from the scene by moving to Antigua, where he established roots and a couple of businesses, it seems like the time was ripe for a corporate raid or two by a few islanders who smelled blood. It’s an old story, set to a reggae beat: lawyers, false documents, fake warrants and nearly a clean sweep. Now armed with new and hopefully more honest attorneys, this week may see some light at the end of this nightmare. There supposedly is a settlement to be made, after which the legal clearances will clean up what appears to be a very dirty trick. Roatan is a law unto itself, and they don’t consider themselves part of the mainland. There’s a curious law on the books, where if a resident is over 65 years of age, they can’t be sent to jail, for anything.  Just don’t leave the island with any money left on the table. I’d like to believe in a happy ending but the twists and turns of Latin legalities are always surprising. This is just one more twisted tale of modern day piracy.

2. interview with the newly arrived Mexican belly dancer (with photos)

shakin' at Gaia this week

she’s gotta lotta hidden talents…more tomorrow but if I were a bar owner, I’d  be talkin’ to her..

3. Nim Pot`s x-rated ex votos

4. the insidious secret of el muros`Twisted Tuesdays 

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Finca Los Nietos (Raul and Christina’s)superb source of boutique coffee, back in action (I’ve ordered my fave, Grano Cubano…as good, if not better than Cubita)…they deliver, given notice…Alex of Sobremesa, usually closed on Tuesdays…doing a private party…Christmas spirit in action, eh? Ignacio, Aniet(in severely slinky high black vinyl boots)and the rest of the group cranking…on time…pro’s…Neil…only took one day off in 21 days, ok? his place dishing out food tonight, right and left..Lori S, back from Colombia and Rio Dulce…was she being a mule? nah, too straight…Palacio de Capitans Generals…lit up tonight…

money well spent


 got to talking about Amsterdam tonight…the art, the hash, the food, the blow, the culture, the dope…and…Xaviera Hollander…here last February, for a long ten days…thank all of you who stepped up and let her whine, vent and try to sell overpriced books from th 70’s…that new photo gallery in Nim Pot? check out the 58 Caddy in the window…so very very Havana..and some xlnt photography, as good as you’ll see in this town..ever..

I suggested to John Mellon of Epicure that he offer gift certificates for these…a knock on the door…’hi…we’ve got a christmas goose for you.’…bend over…add a little misletoe(can’t spell for shit and spell check gagged on it) to the coat-tails and you’re ready to go…


christmas in guatemala


 anybody still unclear on the concept of Guatemala being under siege by the cartels? look at the map…Gaute is the back door to Mexico, be it the Caribbean or the Pacific…the Green Beanies are in-country, teaching their brand of dirty tricks and giving away Huey’s…no, not one of Donald Duck’s nephews…the bird that goes ‘whop whop’…wonder how the Kailbiles stack up against the Green Berets? the Kailbiles have always impressed me as being tough little shits, much like the Korean Tigers…worse than Gurkhas, if that’s a clue. I’m trying to get accredited to go along on one of their ‘picnics’…the 5th Special Forces and i were ‘trading partners’ in Nha Trang a long time ago.

Sangre? advertising wine/snacks on Thursday, via a very short email list of invitees…no time posted but one assumes in the evening…stacks of party chairs in the foyer tonight…Ouch!  CIRMA announched the assassination of one of their colleagues in Hue-Hue today..ack…why? Sangre? supposedly, along with Studio 35, the top two bars in town…Red’s #5…total ignorant insanity(the worse kind) can we have a recount?  Some Dutch site came up with it…ask Shawn..Top Five Bars in Antigua? I’d go with any of the following..in no particular order…El Muro, Ocelot, Cashbar, Reillys, Cafe No Se, with El Mirador reaching…I’m talking about ‘noise/atmosphere, drinkability…Mono Loco, La Sala?  Que Pasa! start a Top Ten contest…or a Top ‘anything’…let people vote..we all have our favorite hide-outs, which is a different category..hmmm..where to go when you don’t want to be seen with ‘her’… I’m talking bars…not restaurants with a bar…Red’s? dead…Hector’s? jammed to the sidewalk…Caz Italiano? quiet, as least early in the night.

Green Beret mascot


tis not funny about the thing in Hue Hue…CIRMA and their people do a helluva job saving Guatemala’s past..Ocleot packed with Gautemaltecos, tourists and the usual suspects.

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So…a serious case of ‘shuttle-butt’….a ten hour shuttle to San Cristobal de las Casas, followed by another ten hour day to Palenque and back(the Mercedes bus broke down)and thence 12 hours back to the welcoming embrace of Antigua and home…its a wonder that I don’t have creases there(I might, but I can’t really see ’em)…note to self: who can I ask to give me a bird’s eye view?

San Cristobal! I was expecting the worst, being mid-December and 7000 feet…nope, arrived on a sunny Sunday afternoon and folks were sitting on the street, slurping cappuchinos in shirt-sleeves…the Casa Margarita remembered me and I took the same room, #16…a bottle of 5 year old Flor de Cana from the market a block away and all was good.

Side-trip….I’ve been noticing a lack of energy, enthusiasm and general apathy, accompanied by intestinal woes…the answer? NoDik 500…three day series of pills, twice a day…killer stuff..

an unfortunate name but very memorable…’oh, could I have some NoDik?’….I’ve become a poster boy for the stuff.

so…off to the land of the Sub-zero comandante Marcos…via Ux Chuc and the splendid waterfalls of Agua Azul. The most outrageous and beautifal waterfalls I’ve ever seen…

this is only a small sample…the fuller assortment is on the Ex site….www.examiner.com/x-22480-central-america-travel-examiner    ‘stucking funning, in other words, and Palenque? better than I had hoped or imagined….yes, an article tomorrow w/great photos(again, on the Ex site)

the long and the short of it is that I’m tired of traveling..this year has been a ‘year’…no more busses for a long time and I assume that my ear is well enough to handle the cabin pressure in a plane..but not this year..if I were to travel, this is how I’d go…

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 Wrong conceptg

The new Cuban joint, on the corner where Tapas y Tintos used to languish? besides flogging a dated drink from the late 1900’s, they have a signage problem(see above)…they’re playing salsa, once in a while someone might dance and I think they’ve used up their ‘friends list’ …the soviet blonde, the burly guy in the brown velvet jacket and the rest of the crew don’t seem to have that touch(like, maybe smile once in a while)…the location isn’t great but at least try..

So…you pharmacologically inclined few…name this  plant. If you caught the ‘Mayans on  Dope’ article in the Ex, you might recognize it as Datura and this healthy specimen grows next to La Merced.

Mayans on dope

Worsely, of various paths/routes, has been visiting this week…we were going to use him to mule some car parts to Cuba but that’s not ready: the shaft is still being located(the drive shaft, that is) and lastly, if you’ve noticed I haven’t been posting its because I’ve been under the spell of unknown intestinal organisms…I tried one series of meds as recommended but that only covered the sypmtoms: now I’m taking ‘get the fuck outa my gut’ meds, which ought to leave more energy for this…and working on the Venetian Ball site and trying to etc…Mexico and San Cristobal de las Casas looms on Sunday…too cold but I gotta go now…

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There was some discussion earlier with the lady who was robbed a few months ago, while riding in a tourist bus. It would appear that they had been targeted at the Guatemalan/Mexican border while waiting for a transfer. The shuttles only go as far as the border in either direction, and then you go thru immigration and stand around, waiting for your van to show up(hopefully on time). Pick out your likely targets(women with suitcases, preferably)and follow the van to a preselected spot..bingo, up against the tree…they got off lightly, in that only their money and passports were taken…tied up, yes…the moral or lesson here would be…A…don’t wear a dress and look helpless. B. since you don’t have any control over who your fellow passengers will be on any given day, be prepared for the  possibility.  I’m going back in a month or two and I know what I”ll have in the briefcase(and it won’t be a dress)….safety on, easy to find.

The renovation project

The renovation project

They’re doing a great job on the restoration of the Palacio downtown, artfully blending the old with the new.

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No, she didn’t come back as a flower but her double/twin/doppleganger is running for office in San Cristobal de las casas in Mexico. I was walking across the main square a few nights ago, downtown, and noticed the crowd on the sidewalk listening to someone in the back of a pickup truck…there were balloons, a larger-than-life blowup vinyl doll representing the candidate with a goofy smile…and the woman herself, Magdalena Cucaracha or whatever: she’s got the perfect pulled back blond Eva Peron hair-style, the look and the gestures. She begged, she cried, she pleaded…she worked the crowd into a frenzy of clapping and fist-pumping…’send me to the capital to work for you, there will be two chickens full of pot’….and so on. She made Palin look like yesterdays warmed over Hamburger Helper…tight little brown business suit, red-lacquered nails and the microphone took more abuse than a Meatloaf concert. Ole!

Do They Have No Shame?

Do They Have No Shame?

The major tourist trap/draw is amber(aside from the mayan ladies with their weavings) and it appears that someone had too much time or material on their hands…’hey…let’s do logos!’ Available were amber pieces inscribed with Corona beer, or Mexicana airlines..and no, Genitalia is NOT the italian airline. Weirdly enough, San Cristobal has an expat community of some 200 Italians(and now I know why)…but who cares? the place ain’t easy to get to, as the nearest airport is fifty miles away. Yep…bus trip…12 hours from Antigua, via a decent shuttle. Meds and rum made it palatable and I coulda packed my stocking stuffer in the bag,  because there was no inspection of luggage or briefcase, coming in or going out. I’d forgotten that a local gringo lady had been stopped/robbed and tied up on the Gautemalan side a few months ago, aboard a similar kind of tourist shuttle bus…its just like Willie Sutton answered when they asked him why he robbed banks…’that’s where the money is.’  I will be going back, jack and the safety will be off, if that’s a clue.

Its good to be home and away from the torrential downpours of San Cristobal…the house is a mess, as am I, but the laundry’s being done up the street, the suitcase is emptied and I’ve filled the ice trays. Damn…I forgot to restock the Flor de Cana…do I make the bed or make a run? screw the bed, it ain’t goin’ anywhere soon…hasta la pasta etc..


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