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Let’s assume that, Mom and maybe Mary the Hooker are in Cancun for Spring Break or are in Rome, staying at the Pope’s Condo, and watching CNN/Fox and getting the overview from Antigua and the thousands of celebrants dragging around the ‘floats.’,….wtf? after all these thousands of years, the blood, gore, pain and suffering are still #1? Maybe a part of it has to do with the synthesis of Catholic theology and Mayan needs for pain/sacrifice…dunno? cannibalism? pass the wafer, drink the wine…

Ins/Outs…so, Cindy the C left today, for parts unknown, even to her…I’m almost missing Nazi John and Hogan, if not for their lack of sartorial splendor than their propensity for tossing verbal bombs.

‘heard, I think, last week that a major bakery was going into Reilly’s Las Esquina or nearby…but,my memory has been worse than usual..a week ago,I had an attack of appendicitis,,and thank you, Mike D aka the ‘Perfesser’ for showing up,more than once..as my friend, FLR said, while visiting me in the hospital, you know who your friends are when you’re in jail or the hospital..

so..the hospital? at Friday morning, last, my choices were slim/none..VA. a plane ride, Lori Shea’s excellent network, the crime scene they call the Nacional Hospital in San Felipe or the unknown Hospital Hermano Pedro?..Door #3, my choice..they ‘cut me’ in the afternoon but…I bled and was in pain ’til I bailed on Tuesday…want details? got ’em..’can’t recommend ’em for other than a simple procedure..hangnail, cha cha…I think that their staff might have graduated from Barnum and Baileys..sorry, I’m tired…enjoy the spectacles..same stuff, different year..

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and not the airport….Personajes, on 6th Avenida for the Flor Show…her ‘summer fashion’ show…swim suits!  She and the marvelous Marbel were the stars and knew their steps…and the usual collection of Flor’s models were there,plus four guys who were ‘stiff’…what’s with the Pizza Christophe sign outside? I guess he could take orders and schlepp pizza from his place around the corner…that block of 5th called already has 2 other pizza outlets, so what’s another? the Studio, across the street advertises pizza…jeez, is that what this town is famous for? Los Cebollines left/pulled the plug after two years or so (smart).

so, yesterday a partial lunar eclipse, partial solar eclipse and the Spring Equinox? yep…plus a little rain, at least in San Felipe in the night…and this is ‘E’ Verano?’…hey, anything that settles the dust, ash and smoke in the air is good.

I popped in earlier to have another look at the Osteria Di Francesco, behind La Taberna and who was there? Wendy Wever! back from Turkey,looking great, tanned and with Angie Del Rio..she’s here til July when she goes on to Colombia, teaching more ‘englis’ I assume. Osteria is and has expanded and looks great..’passed my doctor headed in, with another couple..Osteria may be taking biz away from El Cazadore…same kinda City/$ crowd.

Wendy’s, on the park, appears to   have finally opened…signs up..a family of fouor the only occupants at 7pm…Dunkin’ Donuts appears to  be a hit…if nothing else, its the sugar. 

and the town is fulla young white kids…running in packs, doing good works (I assume)…John Adams leaves for the States on Tuesday, Cindy is held over til April the 3rd or 4th..I forget…waiting for more medical reports…and the local print run of Ponzi Bob etc is now due out on Monday…Copia Fiel! professional in every way…email updates, cha cha…

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dunno, one way or the other….been up early, writing the Chocolate Bob article…but there’s some changes in town…people looking at the Sangre space on upper 5th Avenida, where the signs (Sangre, Estrella, etc) haven’t been taken down or changed since ’08…in what was the Tacocontento space, also on 5th, across from Polio Compero, they’re putting in 4 electrical meters, assuming that a smaller couple of spaces is easier to rent then one big one..

Speaking of big ones, James the Mullen is back in town…wreaking havoc where ever he goes (but in a good way, ok?) guest bartending at the Exit Inn last night, after the o-so-serious dart game  ended (Spiros was observed practicing earlier)a and the site of Gin King’s penultimate birthday party..complete with a pinata..and also being the master/baiter of ceremonies at the Standup Comedy Night at the Snug…Sunday, 7pm…there WILL be laughter, one way or the other..see our local talent in action..

is Habibi’s bar for rent or sale? that semi-Arabic place on 4th Ave, up the street from Ocelot? next to the other jade store? how the hell can one block support 2 jade stores? and the other,Imperial Maya Jade, is already sucking(no traffic, no $$)…Petit San Malo, per Jackson, was moving from outer 4th calle to 6th calle…wrong, beer breath…5th calle, half a block south of the park, and yet..another Djinn store on that block? yep…

John Adams leaves next week, back to the Sierras…why? dunno..guess that he’s got stuff to bring here…ah, the merry-go-round of our temporary visitors…in/out/in out…no, don’t ‘got there.’

and a giant tip of the panama to Bob Chocolate, for the ‘tour’ yesterday…fascinating stuff..

and now, for the not-so-good news…Michael Tallon, our iconic gentleman/scholar/wordsmith, is in the hospital in New York…if you read his long letter on FB this week, you’ll understand. It was and is gut-wrenching and his valor and courage are high water marks for any of us. …stunning and shocking come to mine…nuff said…sent him your prayers, as I am doing…this isn’t a pretty picture.

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you know, that month or so between now and the start of the rainy season? kinda feels like, as my firewood sits unused (like me, in many ways).

This just in, compliments of Nelson Lunding! besides all of his regular gigs, today he’s playing up on the hill, at Franks Place (El Cerro etc) he and Zeduardo, plus..drum roll…Hector Castro! the Hector? 1::30-5pm….this I gotta go see/hear.

Last night, at the Spanish Cultural Center? GG Foto’s exhibit of great fotos…was s’posed to start at 7pm but it got pushed back until the arrival of the ‘ambassador.’….which ‘ambassador’ I didn’t wait for, so i slipped under the rope and had my own viewing…damn, what an eye she has…Linnitt and Korey there, early, like me.

Our own inimitable Tono, having fun at La Taverna with a nice lady, who was having fun also. Mayra and Marbel at Mayra’s Mamma’s…two very hot mamas, indeed…and the old Avesa Spa, on 6th ave sur, the ozone/aroma spa? now advertising laser surgery for liposuction…is there any kind of training required? this being Guatemala, they won’t have to worry about lawsuits when they suck out too much fat…hey…let’s open up a little slit here and turn on the laser? oops!

Picante, that motorcycle themed place on 6th calle, by Travel Menu? gonzo…probably a smart decision…Hogan/Hap, back today from a trip up north, tubing the Candelaria Caves…monday, ponzi bob, duane and nazi john going out to the mighty Motagua…why? adventure lurks, I s’pose. 

and yes, 5th calle westward? if it’s not dusty, it’s damn damp…’guess they’ll wait and see if any more leaks start leaking..fUBAR, in other words..or train another crew in ditch-digging and connecting PVC pipe…even for Antigua, this is a claim to shame.

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first of all, this is an unfounded rumor. The little Mercadito, next to the Expreso Condesa, where the back was full of the same-o same-o handicrafts: word is it’s gonna be either or KFC or an Applebee’s…with the recent invasion of a Wendy’s, a couple of doors away, WTF? is there some kind of design/license review in this town or does the mayor (outgoing) have any kind of say about this? if this is even half-way true, given the recent invasion of Dunkin’ Donuts and a Little Caesars down 4th Calle, this is fairly outrageous for the preservation of what remains of Antiguas’ cultural integrity…in Carmel, for example, where I once lived for ten years, you can’t even eat ice cream on the streets. I’m not suggesting that kind of Nazi thinking here but…

and yes, we’ve got the PNC, those lovable copies of SS storm troopers, standing on the corners in the mornings…as if they’re really ‘combating crime’ in this haven of tranquility,this tourist mecca..and why the Army troops ride with them is another mystery. ..the crime here occurs after dark, folks..and is focused on tourists/gringos..that’s where the money is, but why not do their patrols after dark and in the fringe areas of town? oops..Mr Logic just reared his ugly head again.

Speaking of logic, Caniz, that long-time private mail service that we pay extra for, for the extra service? they’ve decided to add a little to the pile: now there’s only outgoing mail on Tuesdays but on Thursdays they’re bringing in mail from the City…hmm,you ask? yeah, me too..why not go back to the outgoing mail service on that day also? the truck is here…throw in some mail, what the hell? why not? don’t ask, don’t tell/smell…

Biden’s in-country, bringing promises  of joy, strength and money, no doubt..will Guatemala ever see any of the $$? only if Portillo comes out of Zacapa and rearranges the constitution (done often here)…I like the guy: great hair, good clothes and a past that works well with the electorate here..so what if he wasted two Mexicans? that’s gotta count for something..so what if he stole a few million bucks here and there? he’s obviously a ‘go-to’ kinda guy..

OK, I’m whining…allowing a Wendy’s on the Plaza was a rape of the cultural integrity of Antigua: I’m not against ‘fast foods’ as long as they’re down the block and out of sight…if and a big IF, a KFC or an Applebees goes in next door, its the beginning of the end of Antigua as something special, a cultural treasure or a UNESCO World Heritage place where we live…it’s bad enough with all the ice cream stores, bars, restaurants..not to mention travel agencies…I’m not…they gotta make a living..I don’t but I can see their place in the scheme of things.

Blender-Rama? daiquiries…just enough to make this possible nightmare fade for a while.+

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no, not a gay joke…just a reminder that Antigua is where the money is and for the youths from the surrounding villages, this is where to come to knock over, rob, steal and get away with it. Rumors of a well known hotel being the scene of taking unattended cash (idiots who left it that way)and a couple of ‘stand and deliver’ kinds of hold-ups..will the culprits get caught? hah! as with Guatemala’s abysmal closure rate on murders (5%)these guys will get away clean. If you knew enough to go file a denuncia on 7th ave norte, next to the AL library and then if you knew enough to go find the Ministerial Publico in the south part of town and then…well, don’t hold your breath..the PNC are a joke in black…well tailored black,yes..

so..the great Antigua replace-the old water pipes with new PVC project? another huge joke, unless you have a house or business on 5th calle, from the park to Santa Lucia..a week later, there’s a steady trickle of water down the street, leaks in every block and if it was planned (sic)as a way to reduce dust, its working…but no one else is..what’s next? prayers? whoever is in charge of this project ought to be shot, horsewhipped and run out of town..

and yes, another business moves to 6th calle…Le Petit St. Malo, the french joint on outer 4th calle…someone ought to point out (not me) that Malo means bad in espanol..
and yes, today means the start of the %$#@! processions, for the next 5 weeks…getcher autographed posted of Jesus(in case you forgot what he looks like)the white gloves and the purple gown..
yeah, I’m a bit septical..no, skeptical…I knows it means a lot to many people and $$$ to the merchants (prices triple for hotels)but having seen the movie, read the book, I know how it turns out. One might think that flagellation is the theme, with pain/suffering not far behind. Lift that barge, suck that incense..

and yes, some of the temp visitors have/are leaving…Mark’s left for Thailand, Hogan is outa here in a week and Hap, who just showed up unannounced, leaves in 2 or 3 weeks..Blodgett? April 15th, I’m told..if there was a way to speed that date up, count me in..Miss C outa here on the 17th..our temp visitors add a bit of color..no, wrong word..some I enjoy, some I avoid but then, being retired, I can be a grumpy old fart/curmudgeon any time I feel like it(and frequently do) and yes, the March edition of Our Man in Antigua is live on Amazon/Kindle…go to http://www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer and order a few hundred copies, ok?

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