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Posts Tagged ‘crime’

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 is the Casa Escobar going after the gay trade? looks that way…nope, just kidding…El Gato Negro having a 5q beer special if you wear a dress..the rain! why didn’t i….thanks, frank for the loan of the umbrella but i still got soaked..Lava jammed, Ocelot packed, the luscious Flor and Gina at the bar…Ximena, Margaret Hanson..ok..let’s shift gears…a lot of business owners are complaining about the coverage of last weeks multiple crimes…it happened and it was posted on a site by another business owner who was in the middle of it…hospital, cops, translating…and good for him…it happened, word got out and if not for that, all these meetings wouldn’t have happened and maybe…just maybe, there might be a positive change for Antigua…this is my home, just like yours…if i’m steppin’ in pools of blood two blocks away from my house,what do you expect? o gee..it didn’t really happen..horse shit..it happened and oddly enough, what i heard earlier tonight explains just how fickle fate was that day…it was a night of nights, unlike anything i’ve been around, Antigua has ever experienced and probably never will…to sweep this under the carpet is like ignoring your wierd uncle who’s a cross dresser(and i had one)…get over the publicity, good or bad..times are tough here, regardless if this had happened or not…you don’t have to read this nor read the postings on Face book or watch CNN…it happened, it was a one of a kind event(or series of events) and maybe the PNC will shape up, at least for a little while..in case you’re wondering, innuendo is the italian word for suppository..take one and go away..I call it like i see it…not always accurate because my sources are varied and as they say on CNN, unvetted..antigueno chisme at its best..or worst..people tell me stuff that I can’t share…and won’t..

 

What you’re about to read are suppositions based on 2.5 hours of a well-attended meeting featuring those jolly elfs/oafs of INGUAT, an assortment of brass hat PNC and other cops, other government officials, the Mayor, some press and four private individuals who thought that the meeting might shed some light on the ‘events of last Thursday night’….aka blood on the sidewalks…first of all, an ex-cop who shall remain nameless suggests that the evening was the result of three different ‘do-er’s (cop talk for perps) given the three different M.O’s…the guy on the moto who whipped on the pansies in the park aka La Merced, the guy with the broken beer bottle who whipped on the guatemalan on 2nd calle and then the other four attacks by the same two guys in the maroon truck…using knives…i tend to go along with that scenario..hey, just another quiet Thursday night in Antigua…

the meeting…a horseshit, no..a horse shoe shaped arrangement of tables, 24 people or so..kicked off by INGAUT, with rotating speeches by cops…’well, gee’..if only we had a plan…hey! let’s make a plan so when/if this happens again we’ll know what to do..two hours of this…what did come out and something i didn’t know of…there were only two ‘complaints’ or ‘denuncias’  filed…and until the police have one in their hands they can’t really do anything(and even then)…one must file a complaint with the police and then go to the Ministerio Publico and file another one…and then…then the wheels of justice really begin to turn….creak…so what we have here is cover your ass, it wasn’t my job and by 11:30 the excuses and explanations had been scripted and rehearsed so the the television crew from channel 9 could come in and observe the Mayor and his hard-working crew of dedicated crime fighters could be filmed ‘hard at work, solving this problem and making plans to make Antigua even safer.’ Film at 11….the one fly in my ointment…or ointment in my fly was that in highly confidential conversations outside, I’m told that the official version is total horseshit…ooh…shocking! gambling? I’m  shocked (Claude Rains, Casablanca)…so, without any other ‘complaints’ their hands are tied…not as if they coulda taken statements that night in the hospital or elsewhere and been proactive crime-fighters, eh? no…not here…I’m pretty much fed up with this…as an aside, various people have complained that the whole story was made public…if it hadn’t, nothing would have happened, two days of meetings wouldn’t have happened…the US Embassy made their presence and unhappiness known..the British Embassy who set it up didn’t show..smart..they had better things to do…croquet, some tea and a cucumber sandwich..in retrospect it was a circle-jerk and a stroke job…one local spoke passionately about the events..the three or four gringos(myself included) watched the faces of the bored, playing with their mobile phones…some blame was thrown around and some uniforms will need some washing…the perps? o, those guys? well, we’re workin’ on it…justice,guatemalan style..zzzzzz..the Mayor gave a really good speech, so I’m not worried. 

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I’m hearing that business(tourists buying shit)is down all over town…some say 30%, some say 60%.

We have choices: do nothing and whine or do something and take a shot…Mother’s Day wasn’t exactly the economic shot in the arm that the merchants on 5ta were praying for, so let’s consider a few other events.

The Prize

The Prize

We might as well take advantage of the drive-by’s/sicarios/moto-assisted assassinations…why not sponsor the Antigua 500, a variation on Death Race 2000, with the entrants composed of drivers/shooters on motos(armed, of course)with a route running in a circular fashion around town? There could be betting, the Gallo Girls and my personal favorites, the Ron Botran VIP dancers.

Honk Twice When You're Reloading

Honk Twice When You're Reloading

Properly advertised, this could draw some serious Nascar-like fans to town…the faux Harley boys in leather wouldn’t miss it…ok, fine…the issue of live ammunition is a minor stumbling block….paintball? waterballoons? Maybe use some of the convicted moto-boys in a gladiator fashion, kind of like killing a few birds with a few stones…the winner/victor gets his sentence reduced and the also-rans get some kind of medical attention. This would be tremendous payback and publicity for the folks who are hungering for justice…in your face immediate reduction in criminal activity and the prison population. Crime only sort of pays, in Antigua…and they’re off!

Ok..back to the drawing board. Tuk-Tuk chariot style races around the plaza? I can visualize the judges’s stand on the upper level of the municipal headquarters, the starting flag dropping, the beer and hot-dogs…hey…what this town needs is a good hot dog vendor!  I’d recommend taking the canvas covers off the tuk-tuks for the more immediate visual of the spectacle, maybe five laps and a thrilling finish at the Cathedral…’give ’em numbers, a few brewski’s and some fuel additive..sponsors! local merchants?

A certain restauranteurs squeeze is in from NYC for a few days, so if you don’t see the CR, that’s why.

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