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Posts Tagged ‘drive-bys’

I’m hearing that business(tourists buying shit)is down all over town…some say 30%, some say 60%.

We have choices: do nothing and whine or do something and take a shot…Mother’s Day wasn’t exactly the economic shot in the arm that the merchants on 5ta were praying for, so let’s consider a few other events.

The Prize

The Prize

We might as well take advantage of the drive-by’s/sicarios/moto-assisted assassinations…why not sponsor the Antigua 500, a variation on Death Race 2000, with the entrants composed of drivers/shooters on motos(armed, of course)with a route running in a circular fashion around town? There could be betting, the Gallo Girls and my personal favorites, the Ron Botran VIP dancers.

Honk Twice When You're Reloading

Honk Twice When You're Reloading

Properly advertised, this could draw some serious Nascar-like fans to town…the faux Harley boys in leather wouldn’t miss it…ok, fine…the issue of live ammunition is a minor stumbling block….paintball? waterballoons? Maybe use some of the convicted moto-boys in a gladiator fashion, kind of like killing a few birds with a few stones…the winner/victor gets his sentence reduced and the also-rans get some kind of medical attention. This would be tremendous payback and publicity for the folks who are hungering for justice…in your face immediate reduction in criminal activity and the prison population. Crime only sort of pays, in Antigua…and they’re off!

Ok..back to the drawing board. Tuk-Tuk chariot style races around the plaza? I can visualize the judges’s stand on the upper level of the municipal headquarters, the starting flag dropping, the beer and hot-dogs…hey…what this town needs is a good hot dog vendor!  I’d recommend taking the canvas covers off the tuk-tuks for the more immediate visual of the spectacle, maybe five laps and a thrilling finish at the Cathedral…’give ’em numbers, a few brewski’s and some fuel additive..sponsors! local merchants?

A certain restauranteurs squeeze is in from NYC for a few days, so if you don’t see the CR, that’s why.

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