Posts Tagged ‘drugs’

Sometimes, living next to tennis courts, is like being married..the same shouts…no love-40, either.

yeah…the newspaper that proclaimed McAfee’s deportation yesterday…oops…Da Judge gave him a few more days to get it together before they ship his addled carcass back to Beleeze…with the dye job and the bad photos, it’s looks like he’s been on a very long and thoroughly whacked out road trip…or boat trip..

tomorrow? an NGO that I know nothing about, Los Manos de Christine, doing a 25q BBQ at 11am…#35 Avenida Norte, at the Lutheran Center…the only ‘manos’ that I’m familiar with are those of Carmen and that’s about every two weeks..and magic.

Red Power? not…tis the brand of some funky dead-ass batteries imported from Red China…yeah, they’re cheap and half the price of Duracells…don’t go there…

The ‘fix’ in is for us at Take-a-Lick Abaj on Wednesday, as long as Hill Billy Tom doesn’t run us into the back of some cane truck on the way to Ray-hoo…a guide, maybe a cop or two on a moto…too bad Reid isn’t back yet…a lot of the usual ‘suspects’, i.e, the winter crowd of pale white gringos are slowly re-appearing in town..Reid’s excuse is that his son hasn’t graduated yet from Police Academy II or 3…Reid! bring a dart gun and a lotta darts…PCP is recommended…for dealing with the 800 lb sow in the pen with the Land Rover. Any darts left over can be used around the park.

Alright…Civic Improvement time and good PR for Guatemala’s badly tarnished international image…the idea of the tuk-tuk races didn’t fly..and the idea of staged shoot-outs between narcos and the PNC hasn’t grabbed anyone…nor the nude chocolate mud-wrestling events…god, where’s the imagination? feature this…there’s a national/international bread company that sells here…and with a contest for someone babelicious, some press coverage and TV cameras, Antigua could get some decent PR….I’m volunteering to be a judge, for as any of my friends will testify, if anyone is an expert in such, tis me…ta da! Miss Bimbo!

Brenda aka Brianna

Brenda aka Brianna

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Guatemala, where the strange is just another dose of the daily news and the weird is cannon fodder…no mudder, fodder…I published this last night and this morning in one local paper, the headline read that he’d already been deported, back to Belize…no other confirmation, anywhere…


so…? so what? who the hell knows?  or cares, you ask…in a conversation this morning with a local business man, i made a heavy side-bet that…if he (McAfee)were back in Belize (or not) that his phone is ringing with offers from Hollyweird to ‘do’ the story…c’mon…think about it…lawyers, guns,drugs, money, hookers and bizarre behavior? is this not a description of half of Congress, Oprah, Phil Spector and so on? my bet was that within six months we’re looking at a made for TV movie, shot on location…oops..wrong word/connotation…’filmed on location’…and the Belizean sleazoids will sign on as ‘consultants’…oh…who to play the staring role? that whacked out person, likewise ‘eccentric and unstable’…Tom Cruise…life, as usual, defeats the efforts of comedy, art and insanity..pick your actress..Demi Moore, Pam Anderson, Seka…obscure reference #2

yep..missed it again…the ol burning of the Devil…(set for 5pm)..every f$#@! year i think, you know…you really ought to go see it/shoot photos..but as I said earlier to Nicole…i’ve seen the Devil already, in so many times/places/hallucinations, that once more really isn’t going to make a helluva difference..Nixon, for example…LBJ…Tom DeLay…peyote, DMT, mescaline..cha cha cha…Jimmy Swaggert..no, I never really liked acid..

the streets were somewhat empty, somewhat full..5th ave, first block north of the park, doing fine…Casbah/Studio 35 looking good, early..Red’s dead, that new place, La Velada on 1st Calle, with the Spor Bar sign? closed…oops..not good..4th calle,the golden gulch? Sobremesa slammed, Neils’ Michos the same, Tartines? Francois, at the door, looking lonely…Fusion/Mammas? slow…DaVinci? two..yes, 2 tables!…the road/highway screw up at the entrance to town is likewise screwing up a lot of city folks who don’t want to deal with even more of a traffic problem..perfect for Christmas, eh? 

speaking of Christmas, i’ve decided what i want…a real stocking stuffer…Santa, you bastard…come thru for me  this year, goddammit..I’ve been good…and i can produce signed statements, if you want…

is she hot or what?

James aka Santiago/Bull Durham? looking 110% better! color, gaining weight and walking(gingerly aka slowly)…great news…and the ‘pork chop/rib connection? back on, again..briefly…place your orders pronto…jamesdurham2@gmail.com for next week (I’m in for chops)

is she hot?…yeah…if I can find a really really big stocking..’got the fireplace…and if Santa(you stingy bastard) comes thru…

the impending road trip to Take a Lick Abaj? not quite set in stone…more like set in Silly Putty but we’re talking about a time/place for leaving next Wednesday…progress, Antigua style.. 



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late night update….John McAfee,aka The Fugitive, arrested for illegal entry into Guatemala…oops..’is there some way we can work this out?’ yeah..back date his passport, take the $$ and say it was an administrative error…either that or the ‘authorities’ have decided to take his $$ or tie a can to his ass and get him outa town..if he’s been arrested, where do they take him? the same jail as Portillo and Adolfo(Da Mayor of Antigua)…this story never quits..

“Yep! But Antigua is far from being an ideal world, it is one saturated with same businesses, plagued by delusion and obstinate behavioral disorders. The typical has been… but what gorgeous views and climate!”

I told him I was gonna plagiarize him…ah…twilight time in town, one of my favorite Antigua moments…Sunrise is good, before the air gets hit with exhaust fumes but there’s a gorgeous sunset tonight…flaming orange cotton balls in the sky…gotta go outside and take another look…the light is suffused/diffused, there’s no breeze and the birds gather in the trees before winging home. The hot dog vendors in the l ittle park in Manchen push their carts away for the night. This place is paradise and the sunset is slowly fading…what was orange is now pink and gray.

Rich Neel and Marian, on the bike…a big bike and not one of those little dinky 125 cc motos…thanks, Korey D, for the analogy of McAfee and Phil Spector…so, is it  pronounced MAC a fee or mCAFEE? the trend seems to favor the first…o boy…welcome to Guatemala. His 20 yr old twist is the niece of his attorney…the change from gray to dark brown hair/beard? shoulda hired an image consultant..shoulda gone to Honduras/Roatan, where if you’re over 65 yo never go to jail, for anything..he’d be perfect for Roatan…Coke Island, guns, parties..

Josh the guy with the pop bottle creations…Antigua style kinda guy…the sunset is over, the sky faded to gray…walk the streets of 4th calle/5th ave at twilight, catch the aromas of various cafes and the little latina lolitas out for a stroll….Central Parque and the lovers in the corners.

Kudos to Shaun of Ocelot for capturing the  zeitgeist of the moment: ‘McAfee Antivirus’ shooters of some kinda pink drink…yeah, I had two.  My RAM disappeared and I guess I’m virus free…probably oughta defrag my hard drive next…what a perfect evening in Paradise! are we lucky or what?

one last thought or question: location is key for business and parking is at a premium here…its either on the street or in some outa the way hidden parking lot…there’s no valet parking either…does this explain some of El Cazadore Italiano’s ongoing success? parking on both sides of the street…and also Epicure? just wondering?

oh…The Green Door reference…not the Marilyn Chambers porno movie…shot in Sausalito/SF…my abode has massive green metal doors at the entrance..and…more TA stuff (and not tits/ass)


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Neil Craig! back with a vengeance…no, back with a great %$#@! location, right in the heart of Glitter Gulch (4th calle)…’taking over Michos and expanding a bit…a new menu next week and so on…whew…what a coup…

thank you to the “Canadian’ who gave me a couple of Tylenol #3’s this morning (my P.I.T.A) still here/there…whew…those are some serious tabs, my friend…thanks also to Michael Raymont who gave me a couple of Gabapentin tabs (some kinda pharmaceutical heaven, per Google)…’haven’t road-tested them yet but Michael says he’s been taking them for a long time(which might explain a few things)..

Lex Cargo and lady friend, out and about on 5th calle….another store going in around the silver shop…’hard to keep up with the revolving doors on that street.

Alex of Fusion kicking out the jams/doorways and such in Fusion and expanding into the patio…a grand opening of  Nido Antigua scheduled for Friday the 19th (this month)starting at 6pm…G.S.T?

El Periodico reporting that they(the authorities)are going to ‘extinguish’ our Mayor’s properties…as in confiscate, take and do what with? does someone get to bid on them, take them over or what? enlighten me, please on how this works in Guatemala…Adolfo has now been in the clink for 17 days…o durance vile..o dirty clothes

and the red, white and blue SAT sticker is still pasted on the door of that place…a little problem with the paperwork?….and just where in the hell did all the day-trippers come from today…100-150 easily, all walking around with name tags, lanyards, white legs and cameras, followed by the mayan ladies..

per Walter Fischer, the Antigua City Tour bus thing starts this Saturday, details in Revue…good…’hope it works, this time…Juan Carlos had a great idea but shallow pockets…Walter and his partners don’t seem to have that problem (yet) and thanks to Jim aka Bull Durham for yet another great batch of pork ribs…jamesdurham2@gmail.com, the best, outa Tecpan…I picked up a frozen pound and since my butt was hurting…figured, what the hell…gotta defrost ’em one way or the other…stuffed the plastic sealed packet in my pants, walked home and bingo…defrosted ribs, frozen butt…a twofer..hmmm, Gabapentin?  Michael…if i turn into a howling freak later(what’s the difference, eh?) I’ll know who to blame..

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ok…Fuego! 9am, the park and kablooie!….having been here for only 4 or 5 years, this was the largest eruption I’ve seen(and that suits me just fine…anything bigger and it’s time to bend over/kiss the ass goodbye..) it musta been scary/spectacular closer…like the village of Rodeo or La ReUnion..quick! send out a call for more virgins to sacrifice!….whoops…that’s right: ain’t got any…volunteers? semi/demi-virgins? you know, like we only went ‘that far’…or as the old Tubes song went, ‘Don’t touch me there’..

alas…the political scene in Antigua has morphed/changed…early this morning, so I’m told, the cops came for The Mayor, his wife and daughter…handcuffs…did they stack ’em in the green-painted plywood rolling jail on wheels, the one with the little cut out windows/bars at the top? ooh…seriously embarrassing photos, sitting on the floor in handcuffs. If you’ve ever been in jail(I have)know that long holiday weekends are when the wheels of justice don’t turn..the judges are at the beach, the attorneys are in the strip clubs and the cops don’t give a shit…even, assuming (and I don’t know)that bail could/would be/might be granted, the Alcalde won’t be leading the parade on Saturday.

I confess to being amazed by this. This is Latin America, where bribery and corruption are part of the landscape, no? A sitting mayor, re/elected, gets indicted..ok..but then gets drummed outa the party, loses his immunity and then gets jailed?  I can only assume that he offended(pissed off)some serious people in Antigua…it’s been said that Guatemala is run by 17/23 families…take a number..whew…there are at least two mega-power families in town, that I know of…right(as if I know shit)the message is that someone pulled the chain and Da Mayor is in for a very long weekend (at best) and some serious repercussions/charges/changes down the line…ok, fine..he skimmed 26 million quetzals…give or take 3 million bucks..my calculator gagged again..if he’d been a lawyer or CPA he mighta been smarter..he’s  a docter, an M.D…though at this point he’s starting to look like a proctologist. 

at any rate, the efforts to ‘clean up’ Antigua-stan are progressing, from the top down…is there a Vice Mayor? who does the duties, like leading the parade? who kisses the beauty queens? can i volunteer? I know vice when i see it, trust me…aside from all this, the town was quiet tonight…’had a cucumber based margarita at Sobremesa(not bad) and a short stroll…politics…makes for ‘strange bedfellows’…does the prison have a VIP section? will Adolfo have to bunk with narcos/maras/ex-generals? my mind reels…happy Independence Day!

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