Posts Tagged ‘el cazadore italiano’

is it ever gonna stop? yeah, every one says another week…two weeks…what the hell do they know? I know that I’ve got mold on the hat band of my favorite old black fedora,if not also on my mind…my mind.. what’s on, my mind? not much(typical)

Caffe Bourbon,now offering hamburgers…o tired cliche, o tired menu item…Pietra,what was on the saure, moved a block south, by Mono Loco…rotsa luck…another hope/dream/idiotic scheme moving into the previous space..


yeah, this isn’t my usual ‘beat but it’s different…whore’s therapy..no…dammit,spel chuk..’horse therapy’ and damned interessting..more to follow, once the rains quit in the morning and i can shoot better photos..if it were the previous, rather than the latter, i’d be thinkin’ of going out to the Jet Set (and I am)for some ‘indepth interviews’..looks like a run to Monterrico next weekend,compliments of Johnny’s Place/Yann…yey! I hadn’t known, for example, that he’d gotten married(why am i always the last to know?)for a little update and time off…right, the hectic schedule of being rained on, morning, noon and night…the only bright spot is that I’m still on Umbrella #1, a first..gave the real 1st one away to MDC of Salon Creativo, a few months ago..

The Great Antigua Bus Tour? yes..finally, finally got to ride the tour today…I like it, better than the previous incarnation..story goes that next week is their ‘Grand Inauguration’..this week, they’re getting the kinks worked out, etc..the water’s back on is all of town..finally..pipes hooked up, etc..

Who is the very tasty, usually very well dressed babe that knocks on Jades Antigua(upper 5th)at 8am?  she’s an early morning vision, whoever she is.

if I count my chickens/quetzals, I’m off to El Salvador next month…couple of days in my favorite city, San Salvador, catch up with Dan of Lips, maybe an outing to some Mayan ruins I haven’t seen..and a special thanks to Robto de Oro, for parachuting in some much needed $$ following the demise/loss of my debit card…maybe,just maybe next weekend I’ll have a replacement.. so, if i hit you up for a few $$, that’s why..from the looks of the FB ads, Mario is whipping up the crowds at La Sala..a good thing..that part of town may well be the new ground zero, given the demise of upper 5th avenida..funny how things shift, eh? different crowds, different times,…Zone One, long the garbage pit of the City now becomes the new hot spot..good for Henrik et al for seeing this and goin’ forward…altho now that Neil Craig has his own joint, who’s gonna cook at the  new/improved pub at what was Casbah? and are they ever gonna open? oops..not s’posed to write about this stuff…’scandalous babble material’

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since I’e been tagged with writing ‘slanderous babble’ I can see no reason to stop..in Antigua, we all have our special niches and I’m proud to say that…i like it..call me S/B for short…no, not ‘shit for brains’

o where to start? how about Marcel of El Cazadore Italiano decided to take early retirement and bail? yep…cashed out…burnt out, they say..he was the perfect host/front man and who’s going to replace him? Luciano’s working double duty at Pan y Fantasia…Marcel will be hard to replace…’wont be the same and that’s the truth(as I see it)..

those of you, restauranteurs/bar owners, who made your September ‘nut’ or rent on time(or a few days late)consider yourself lucky…a lot didn’t, couldn’t and never will..some report a slight uptick in October biz(the first week)….

Ixcot, that never never worked crepe place within the Ocelot plaza? supposedly pulling the plug in January…a valium..no, valiant effort that continues to baffle the hell out of me..17 years in the Tex-Mex business? what a slam-dunk for something like that in Antigua…

expect changes in Ocelot’s mission/appearance/prime directive…the blues/jazz market has shrunk…can you say “Nelson Lunding?’…the market has shifted/changed…the clientele is different…Neil Craigs new thing in Micho’s should work..great location, traffic and Neil…oh..the 9am appointment to take a ride on the new Antigua City Tour bus? blown off…o, come back at 11…naw..they took off..per Walter, this is a time/week of growing pains, shake down cruises, working out the kinks(all of these my words, no his)I’m again scheduled for 9 am on Thursday…we’ll see..or not..’good thing I’m on meds and really don’t give a shit one way or the other..

I‘ll be around this week with another five book holders..carefully crafted and sprayed with high quality clear lacquer…there’s nothing to good for the clients of my far flung publishing empire, just as soon as Frener cranks more price stickers, which I’ll reglue…yep..full service..that’s me..slanderous babble? you decide…I’m deciding to have another Bloody Mary and call it ‘quits’ for the day…vaya con queso…

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where have all the gringos gone? if I saw ten today that’d be about it…flown the Guatemalan coop for the YouEss of A?…today, Sunday? a totally Guatemalan buncha people, in the park, the streets and watching our own Andy the Mime…the largest crowd I’ve seen so far, blocking the section of 5th avenida north for a few hours.

so…if the Spanish school folks are gonzo, and the Christians likewise…leaving a few backpackers who haven’t figured out that school starts soon, what does that mean for A-town? biz-wise, it means that until the 15th rolls around(Independence Day) they’re sucking wind…last night, an almost full/blue moon and the first of the month($$)? emptiness…El Cazadore Italiano and Epicure doing a few tables and that’s all..folks..

part two of the  firework factory up/out…’el rancho de rockets’…I’ll paste a link tomorrow..the September version of Our Man in Antigua-stan to the printer and Amazon.com..tomorrow..this weekends’ weather has been superb and reminding me of why i live here..

again, major kudos(congrats)to Henrik of dos Reilly’s for the Granada idea…killer! I like  to think (sic)that i know Granada somewhat and….it’s a perfect fit.

Lili and her paper-selling compatriots are exempt…they get to stay…thank you, unnamed person, for stepping up..it just wasn’t fair. As someone mentioned, this place is being Disneyfied…day by day…ok…but use some common sense/logic….if you’re going to a gringo picnic tomorrow, get your wienie roasted (I’m not)..gotta little interview  to do.

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le town is f…..king dead: unless you’re part of a Christian group taking salsa lesions…no, lessons…and obviously not a Baptist/Quaker/et cetera demon..no, denomination that prohibits ‘contact’ or shaking one’s booty…La Sala showing an uptick in attendence: maybe the new decor/menu? whatevah…how the hell does Mito’s, around the corner on 5th ave, stay in business? has anyone ever seen any people in there?…Riki’s? muerto…Cashbar…closed, at least for the night and if it weren’t for Djinn, Sangre would be its usual self aka dead…ha! got an idea for the Consejo and Da Mayor!….if you’ve ever been to Tombstone, Arizona, then maybe you’ve seen the staged shoot-outs on the streets….gunsels in Western garb(clothing) having staged duels…so, here’s the concept…narcos/zetas/betas/sigma chi’s..dressed in black, with a lotta gold chains, cowboy hats and MAC-10s/Uzis..up against our own crime-fighting troops otherwise known as the PNC….acting the parts, of course…schedule a couple of ‘duels in the dust’ on Saturday and Sunday…shooting blanks, with some tasty/toothsome(aka ‘hot’)narco/babes for signing autographs..like it? ‘thought you would..

‘you know, with over 150 places to eat and roughly 500 tourists(Christers, backpackers/spanish school students)the numbers don’t bode well(add up)for the food/bev industry in town, assuming that the number of 500 is close..i think it is but then again you know that math isn’t/wasn’t my strong point.

Scott S/wife/friend in O’lot earlier..Allen working a double shift..O’Lot and then Travel Menu…Robt aka Alabama Bob lamenting the loss of his debit card in the thieves’s paradise known as El Mercado recently and two weeks for a replacement and in the meantime his Guate visa expires in 8 days..Wendy the W going back to Turkey August the 13th, missing the incoming Elle and bride-groom for a celebration the following weekend…MM and new boyfriend cavorting at…love/lust…it must be wonderful…been so long that i forget who ties up who first and yes, Wendy’s unexpected appearance at Angie’s last week did summon up an old expression…”well, f…k me to tears!”…seemed appropriate at the time..

the short lived Antigua City Tour bus is back or at least parked on the square…’spoke with Juan Carlos last week and he said he’d sold the business…’hope this time it works as i thought(sic)that it was a great idea and good for Antigua..and our local plainclothes guy from the PNC,  Juan Mario Cervantes…in a coat and tie in front of El Portal? yep..

and if you’re walking along 6th calle, towards Travel Menu, there’s a BMW/Ford SUV/with California plates parked there..dusty…BMW equals ‘break my window’ which is exactly what happened..rear quarter wing…hello! anyone home? welcome to Antigua! bring money and an extra credit/debit card…

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pirate ebonics? ah, it was a typical Sunday….crowds in the park, the streets…Andy the Mime workin’ 5th Ave, the marimba concert at City Hall…folks dancin’….Alex of Sobremesa exhausted after a party of 37(rehearsal dinner)…Tartines closed on a Sunday? yep…Carlos Tomas back at the helm of Dyslexia, sorting books/paperwork(and a good thing)

Chez Chris doing dinners…Da Vinci not…Marbel? yep…dos Reilly’s and looking good…Maite M at La Caz, in an ebullient mood: she said she’s playing tennis in the morning and did i have balls? answer: yes…three, because two isn’t enough….drum roll…ah, I’ve been wondering where Miss Emma has been(she wouldn’t tell) but she’s got a new pooch, which Ocelot let her sit at the bar with and I left just before the usual motley crew of the Pub Quiz trickled in…Plumb Bob, for example.

That short-lived fish market on 6th calle, across from the Tanque Verde…threw in the towel, closed their doors, sign  up saying…”that’s all, folks” more or less…my Guatemalan head cold is slowly fading, day by day: thought about playing golf tomorrow and realized that I couldn’t make it past 2 or 3 holes, kind of a general metaphor for my life anyway….age is slapping me around, but I’ll always have mammaries…no..memories..let’ see: A + B equals C?

Upper 5ta dead…Gaia, Studio 35, Red’s…Djinn’s Angel? let me suck….no, not really..she swung and missed…i ducked and ran..she is such a witch..tomorrow, the latest edition of ‘Our Man etc” hits the streets here….no more ‘First/Second Edition” stuff…it got outa hand, with the continual additions…ah! Sunshine Grill! yeah, baby!…their pizza is hand tossed and wood-fired in a brick oven…the real deal…’owner spent time in Canada and NYC and knows his pizza…I munched a slice comin’ home,of pepperoni…add some ‘italian sugar’ aka red chili flakes, maybe some ‘shrooms…Yankees on the tube at the bar…hmm..and cozy…I’ve been hearing about it for a while…whew..one more week of June and we get to flip the bird…no, calendar…flip off whoever you feel like, even Flipper…ever hear that he was gay?


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“if I had two, I’d be King.” The King just laughed, since he already had two..what this refers to is anyone’s guess…there’s lightning to the north, past San Felipe and Volcan Fuego is spewing orange gouts of lava…thanks, Brielle Miel for pointing this out earlier…she leaves for Jackson Hole, Wyoming in a week…six months on a ranch…horses and all..no word if she’s gonna get on on the branding/neutering process…ooh, tie ’em up and burn a brand on their furry legs…kinda san francisco, in a way..

so…the Butt Patrol has struck Ocelot and Lava…no smokee there anymore, no ashtrays…as an alternative for those of us who still cling to this risky behavior, there’s the terrace at Da Vinci…service upstairs may be a bit slow but Luis Miguel is planning on installing a bar upstairs..

Alex of Sobremesa! back from a honeymoon in Italy with some great food/drink ideas…yeah, he’s got the concept that the $$ is in booze and not food..its not hard: in a quart or liter there’s 25 shots…sell 4 and the rest is profit…is this hard?

there’s a coming vacancy on 5th calle…nope, can’t talk about it but the concept/idea should work…5th, with Da Vinci, Chez Christophe, Las Cebollinas may just be the new ground zero for the food/beverage biz in town…La Pena del Sol anchors the west end…’got to introduce Bill H to Maite M this morning…amazing that those two haven’t met each other…she plays next door at the tennis club(and I confessed that I sometimes leer thru the bushes when she’s on the  court)…and I’m saving my balls for her…nope, not what you think…tennis balls that get knocked over the fence..she accumulates boy-toys that take care of her dogs…hey, if it works, why knock it?

Roberto Fraser of Rainbow Cafe says that Guatemala City now has a cricket team (and they just whipped on El Salvador’s ass) and they’re thinking of expanding…perhaps with a Antigua cricket team…but they need a large grassy area to play…hmm..the polo field, the horse show field out by Ciudad Vieja? I like the idea…watch the bowlers bowl, slug a few gin and tonics, make semi-intelligent remarks about the wicket or the pitch…’oh I say..well done, Nigel!” if cricket is anything you’ve ever wanted to ‘do’..Roberto is the guy to talk to..

dos Reilly’s doing a good early trade, Fusion same-o, B5 waiting..and waiting..El Caz with the shiny SUV/guards crowd filling up…town fulla folks in suits/ties…why? who cares? bring money, dammit..go take a look at DV’s terrace…it’s a lot better than some,like that place on 4th that advertises “best terrace view in town”..yeah, that one..the one that’s always empty..and if you go on a Monday or Tuesday night, you’ll get to gaze upon Claudia #1, which ain’t bad..John K around for a few more days, before leaving us, once again, for the wilds of Ecuador and beyond…ask him about trout fishing at 14000 feet with a rubber worm..”Fish and Stream” coulda run this article..Ricardo’s T&V packed, as usual…party time…he seems to have the magic ingredient for making it happen…’another glass of wine, my dear? ‘ hey, it works…have a great weak end..stay away from Fuego..



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another procession? yep…clouds of incense, fireworks and a barge pulling up to the Cathedral….Marcel of El Cazadore Italiano knew the reason/event but it was over my head(as with most things)…any excuse to light stuff off seems to be the bottom line in Antigua…

DaMayor’s SUV seen on 4th Avenida..dusty…hiding out from last week’s bad publicity or taking lessons from Otto? a quiet night for the food/beverage industry in town, at least in the early part of the evening..some swillers seen at Ocelot’s Happy Hour…Spiro, Piano..no, make that Guitar Mike, scheduled for an 8:30 at Angie Angies later tonight..Moriah now has a full time job teaching at a Christian Spanish School and making decent $$$..Adan, our Cuban pianist, wearing what coulda been one of Ignacio’s hawaiian shirts..any word on Ignacio? gotta be tough, losing a leg…it’s not like he’s gonna be drawing disability payments..

talks with G Mike about croquet..yeah, he’s up for it..another concept? bocce ball…if there was an italian restaurant,etc…speaking of Italian restaurants, La Viniera Antigua’s deal hasn’t closed…now, per Beppe, it’s the first of June for the new owners..

tomorrow? the Mother’s Day in the States…Jon M of Epicure and wife refused passage outa the country per their passports having less than 6 months before expiring…who knew? weird US laws, again…ergo, if you wanna go, make sure that your passport has time left on it..the more i hear/read about new laws in the States the more i ‘m reminded of ‘Orwell’s 1984’/nazi germany..substitute the Dept of Homeland Security for the Gestapo and there you are..buncha obese clowns with power and they love exercising it..thank you, Osama Bin Laden, for creating a nightmare of bureaucracy..your legacy with live on, far longer than you might have imagined.

the very delicious Flor about to close Dasha…dos Reilly’s almost empty but with the the sound of Booker T and the MG’s…”Green Onions’…streets/sidwalks packed with people/spectators…Juan Mario Cervantes, our local detective, hanging at El Portal…bocce ball! a simple game(even Italians can figure it out)but where? Angie Angie’s back yard? hmmm…thanks to Mr Will…yes, EBay has a lot of croquet  sets for sale…


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