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Posts Tagged ‘el muro’

Body Heat

Posted in golf, Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , , on June 13, 2012| Leave a Comment »

kinda night…humid, waiting for the rain/lightning…Fuego blowing massively off to the west…yeah, ‘Body Heat’, back when Kathleen Turner was a babe and hadn’t porked out.

Ximena, ex-El Muro, remarking that June is slow for business…yep…be glad that we’re not in the food/bev biz or retail. .Sobremesa, doing tables and the only action on that side of town(or anywhere else)…weird, how some nights the center of food gravity shifts, kinda like the current influx of spanish school students…most of the schools doin’ biz and as usual the blonde gringas acquire after-hours ‘tutors’…

Beverly of Lava sporting a new cast on her foot….no, not ‘rough sex’…i asked, ok?…MM of El Portal with another new boyfriend(2nd of the week and it’s only Wednesday)….she does train them quickly and they usually are relegated to taking care of her dogs…’sit, roll over, play dead’…sounds like some of my marriages.

Rich Neel organizing a Sunday trip to the road/track/races…cars, at the track out towards Escuintla…8am, the park..limited seating.

Da Mayor, spiffy in a gray suit, seen ‘lawyered up’ about six…yep, gave him a freebie copy of a First Edition “Our Man, etc’…something to read in the courtroom..maybe, just maybe the printer will have the latest version out tomorrow(promised for today)…right…half presold…where’s the money?

dos Reilly’s dead, Da Vinci/Chez Chris lo mismo…Ocelot supported only by the usual Lush Hour hard-core group of 5-6 slurpers..yeah, i had one, ok?

Cashbar? closed again/still? yeah..Mondays, Tuesdays and now Wednesdays? makes sense…Sangre tried a 2/1 breakfast special for a day or so…no go..upper 5th is becoming even more of a grave-yard..no word on the proposed changes, if any, for La Sala…Julio partnered up with Mario B of Johnny’s and we’ll see what develops..given the slow changes on 5th Calle, maybe that part of town will see some kinda renaissance..El Gato Negro slow, so the backpackers haven’t made a dent, $$ wise…the Christian groups here for a week or two left, matching t-shirts and all and no word/count on how many souls or children saved..in the immortal words of Marjoe, “glory gee to Beezus!’

and no, the proposed trip up the coast to Take-a-Lick Abaj on ‘hold’..Tom aka Richard Petty Martin ran the Beige Bomb into the rear of a truck last week…in the rain, in the City and the brakes malfunctioned…some crumpled hood stuff, nothing major but it put a damper on going up the country, a la Canned Heat…   

bizarre-ness….the owners of La ReUnion(that 80 million dollar place outa town?) the golf course that’s world-class? They have no idea what the PGA is, or who Jack Nicklaus is, much less the US Open….whew…A Pete Dye course that they paid thru the nose for and still don’t have a clue about the golf business? yeah, they know who Tiger Woods is, if only because they watched the porno movie of ‘Tiger’s Woodie’..only in Guatemala, eh?

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Nooks and Grannies

Posted in golf, Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , on March 21, 2012| Leave a Comment »

‘being a sexagenerian my days are often spent talking about food rather and sex/drugs…usually…there’s a brand of english muffins at Bodegona put out…oops, wrong word…made/baked by Europa that’s indistinguishable from many US bakers (meaning that i can’t remember the brand that advertised the ‘nooks and crannies’ thing..trust me…right…later, when the brain (sic)kicked in..Thomas’ English Muffins, not to be confused with some of our local barmaids.

it’ s been a great day for the ‘bookette’, Our Man in Antigua..some xlnt leads and introductions plus the idea of having/creating an ‘app’ for it…thank you, Nicky Z!..

and John Korte, the traveling guy? just back from the wilds of Ecuador and points in between and organizing another tour..ask him about trout fishing at 12ooo feet and the rubber worm..classic and worthy of ‘A River Runs Through It’…and again, major kudos to our own Luke Maguire Armstrong for his prize winning essay on having a suit made here in Antigua…

Da Vinci! doing several tables tonight! great smiles on Luis’ and Claudia #2’s faces..the upstairs/terrace is almost ready for business…and no, LM on having dinner there with C#1, Flor or she who you met yesterday…too many ex-wives, ex-girlfriends and I’m just an old fish thats been hooked too many times: yeah, I love lookin’ at them and perhaps a fantasy now and then..however, that’s not to say that i”m completely….et cetera..who knows?

other than that…a quiet night for whatever eateries/bars i passed by…thanks to Ole at Travel Menu i have backup sources for ‘app’ writers…great conversation with Max of El Muro this morning..this guy never…NEVER quits thinking of ways to work his business: Monday nights, which are usually deadzo, are now big time at El Muro and…yeah, he’s gotta new crop of tasty barmaids..Belgian babes…Thursdays are becoming a big deal…i probably should, in the name of science, check in..he’s got potential buyers who are persistent but he’s happy the way things are..and that’s a position a lot of bars in this burg would love to be in…Sangre? open tonight! why? no customers as usual..everyone else on 5th doing a few tables here and there…as i said to Max this morning..there are only two businesses that I’d ever consider: a parking lot or an ice-making business…minimal maintenance and constant use..cash flow etc…365 days a year…ca ching!

and…my youngest daughter, newly married in CA to a Welshman…she confesses to reading this blog…damn..do i need to change/delete or deny?…answer? nope..she knows me too well..that said, you know(or should)than not everything i hear, see or am told makes its here..i’d be tarred/feathered and used as a Semana Santa display otherwise..’ Oh, Christ, that’s Sherer up there?’ yep…’gee, I can see all of Jerusalem from up here’ or gimme another hit of that incense..

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The Four Horsemen of the Porklips

Posted in Living in Antigua, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , on March 20, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Let’s see what we’ve got…earthquakes, rain, cold and disease. Mexico took a hit, it’s rained today, it’s cold enough to have a fire in the den aka the bedroom and Bob Wheat has what’s been diagnosed at typhoid. How? Maybe the visit to Roatan or hanging out with Typhoid Mary…typhoid, in this day and age? weird shit, dude…I’m gargling with Pavlov, just to be safe(and probably sorry later).

Too cold to go out tonight(frankly) and it’s been a long day anyway…the marvelous Marvel showed up on time and we did a few rounds: she’s got some great ideas about flogging the ‘bookette’ here, there and around…and I was surprised by how many people in town know her…this’ll work out just fine for both of us and for the greater glory of Antigua.

and where in hell is Pat Farrell? he dropped outa sight in mid January…and the delightful Ms Emma?…nope, don’t think there’s a connection but they were sharing domiciles(a house)…Neil the Craig spotted last night in the company of a sweet young thing…didn’t get a chance to ask him what he’s been up to…its gotta be weird to walk by what used to be Pangea and see it transmogrified into something called Braulio…

Juan Caravela? in what used to be Nokiate? can you say dead? big glossy ads in the local magazines and was that also Brielle Miel (and a real honey)on the back of Revue’s latest, touting La Joyeria del Angel?…getting to be Antigua’s version of Elle…ah, remember her? we were graced  with her presence for….when? was it only just last year? or two years ago…and no, no news of the Wilbur saga: I’ve been remiss in checking in at El Muro…hell, there’s a lotta things i’ve been remiss in,so don’t start a list. the delightful scandahoovian Camilla still in town…she and Frank seem to make a perfect pair…gawd, the plans I had for tonight…Angies, El Muro…the best laid plans of lice and men oft gang agley..hum a few bars…our octagenerian treasure, Marion Popenoe Hatch, seen traipsing thru the park this morning…83 or 84 and still goin’ strong: find a copy of her dad’s biography (American Legion Library) and read of some way out agronomist history of a hundred years ago…Mr Haas Avocado, for example..it wouldn’t be guacamole without him…trivia time: the nahuatl word for avocado is aguacate…or to put it another way…scrotum…pass the chips and dip..

if I had any, this would be a night for a bottle of Laphroaig and some Robert Burns poetry..instead it’s reheat the chili and throw another dog on the fire..that and ask myself the question of do the koi in the pond outfront have anything to carp about?

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Is It Just Me?

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , on February 21, 2012| Leave a Comment »

or has the whole fucking net slow? i’m running  TIGO and they’re great for uptime but for two nights running i might as well be on a dial up connection..porno? fuggedabout it…friend send me youtube stuff…snore…yeah, i know that we live(sic)in a 3rd world country..

some busy places tonight…Weldon, getting a bus load of turistas…Fusion packed, lo mismo with Bistro Cinq…El Caz? quiet but doing  a few tables..dos Reilly’s lo mismo..Da Vinci? a dead zone as was Red’s..Angies’? a few tables…great talks with Brian/Glenn Wilson of C21 outside of Cafe No Se…never knew just how much Brian had written about the foibles of  Guatemala…expect more from the ‘bookette’..

thanks to all for the great comments about ‘our man’…plumb bob, ryan et al….ah..Carla B has a new job!…Fusion!…a good addition,i say..and thanks, Peter the G, for pointing out the differences between maggie and what’s her face..i obviously didn’t get it..but what else is new?

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Onya or Enya?

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , , on February 13, 2012| Leave a Comment »

two new barmaids at El Muro!…Fabiana, just getting used to making drinks and the statuesque Onya…gaelic girl, tall blonde, curves…damn…where does Max find these babes? Onya? yep..that works for me…the ‘distribution centers’ for the bookette are fairly well nailed…east, west, north, south and central…thank you, Antigua! 75 of the first 100 gonzo…and Frener Printing? out did themselves…cranked 50 on Saturday…slow down, guys..i’m trying to keep my ‘life’ as it is.

Sobremesa? packed!…no tables/chairs unoccupied…Ginski of Marty and Co, in a wheelchair…told me that he fell off the bus…wrong: he lost a wheelchair race/bet and gets to spend a week in a wheelchair..and i fell for it..’gave him my secret recipe for pain…Oxaforte…i.e., codeine tabs…100q for ten tabs, over the counter at your favorite farmacia..

Robto de Oro and a sweet lady having a tete a tete at a place that i can’t mention…Henrik back at dos Reilly’s tonight…Nelson playing PV and then No Se later..Karla holding down Whisky Den..ah…fruit juice/health bar stuff…Sierra’s Sangre at Ocelot…10q and damned good…ask Plumb Bob about my reflexes after ingesting same..caught two glasses knocked over(i did it)with a right and a left..spills, chills and thrills but nothing broken or sloshed…aside from me and PB..

The Great Chicken Bus Stuff Job? a success, a record and weird…not a lot of gringos showed up…but the locals from Joco caught the spirit and concept…220 or 221, breaking Poland’s dubious record of 209…go Ginski and Marty…on to bigger and better venues, ideas.. 

coming soon to a ruin near you…the Venetian Masked Ball…nope, not like the Policeman’s Ball..this friday, 6pm, GST…San Jose El Viejo, 5th ave sur..masks at the door..show up, watch me make a fool of myself as the moderator..read the www.guatemala-times.com editorial…barb came out swinging about the drug stuff in central america…i’m proud to write for them..and for free…

i could be onya and then enya?..ah, those gaelic babes…go by el muro and feast your eyes..i’ll be back, with clean glasses..got a bit steamed up tonight..and broke my latest pair of fake Foster Grants…back to the mercado for the knockoff’s…35q…why is it warm tonight? weather report said 3 days of rain…who cares? another cheapo umbrella, #6 for last year…Alex L and wife-o walking the streets and taking the night off from Fusion…the Chocolate Museum? doing good foot traffic…great displays, lotta rental space..i like it..hope they survive..its a touch of class.

 

 

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Village of the Damned

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , on February 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

quoting Robt aka Plumb Bob Wheat..referring to our little home-town…’not sure what triggered the phrase but sometimes it fits…whew…dueling marimba bands circled around the fountain in central park, amplifiers and all…our Mime, on 5ta norte, captivating the usual crowd…he’ll be a part of next fridays’ Venetian Masked Ball…starts a 6pm, GST, San Jose el Viejo…parking at Porta Hotel nearby…masks? gotta have one  to get in but there’ll be some at the door(with last minute tickets)…

whew…I don’t have to beat my meat tonight or tomorrow…drum roll…now that i’m barbecuing again..ok, Mr Austin, ‘grilling’ and i’m buying local meat…it’s usually kinda tough and meat tenderizer helps…what did you think i meant? i was gonna use the little hammer and pound the steaks a bit..

per Piano Mike, who’s playing at Caffe Bourbon tonight, the problem with the license to play music has been solved…the multa paid, the license obtained and the music goes on..some of her neighbors, who’ve complained, probably won’t be happy about this..

Maggie M, Queen Bee of El Portal and other  places…presiding over a table of eight or so chapins in the Ocelot patio…the elegant Gina C and Flors’ sister on their usual  chairs at El Portal…probably waiting for Flor/Dasha to meet up when she closes.

and a perfect evening…blue skies, xlnt temperature, the town crowded with very tasty Capitalinas: they’re getting the Costa Rica tica jeans/slacks concept: tight enough so that one can tell if a coin in the back pocket is heads or tails..answer: tails..’heard via the ‘vine that Carla B is gonna be in town this coming thursday: a good reason to celebrate.

the ‘bookette’? moving off the shelves of a few local retailers…more to come, next week, when i pick up the latest print run on Monday…i think they(the printers)called about 5pm but it and they can wait til Moanday…i like the addition of the little gold stickers..’Five Stars!’ Amazon.com…yeah, it’s true…not one, but two 5 star reviews and another on Smashwords..the 2nd Edition has shipped, at least from the print plant on the right coast to the Florida P.O…it’ll linger there for a week while Caniz jacks me around and thence here…per the folks at Epicure, the sea shipment of books outa be arriving in a week or so..

Sobremesa’s Alex is getting married next weekend…Saturday…yeah, i’m goin’..the VMB Friday night, a wedding on Saturday…’went by El Muro earlier to drop off the last poster for the VMB…damn, Max has the tastiest bar wenches in town..way too young to be seen with, at least for me but a man can dream and thanks to a fresh container of meat tenderizer, i don’t have to beat my meat…the fire is laid for later(and I won’t be)the sunset is perfect and the patio calls…have a great weak end…this place is perfect. 

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Rain Man

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

who would’ve imagined an afternoon/early evening sprinkle? not me, obviously, having left umbrella #5 behind at Bangalore Bobs..’ran into a made-up/sparkling version of Briele Miel Duflon on her way to the the park for photos…damned near didn’t recognize her…false eyelashes and the whole kit/caboodle…tres chic and damn good looking..with/without, kinda like frosting on a cake..

thank you, John Rexer et al…the ‘distribution network’ is 99% complete..25 copies a week, no mas..here, there and so on…Ricardo of Tabacos y Vinos at the helm of his usual nightly semi-party…Jean-Marc! don’t usually see him at T&V but there he was..Gabi A, doing TV..television, not transvestites..for a promo for the VMB, coming soon..next friday…buy a ticket, see the show, marvel at the costumes and laugh when I try to be moderate…no, the moderator…I can do this…trust me, i’m a trained professional..

Alex Ferrar of Sobremesa and Helados Exoticos? tying the knot…i.e, getting married next weekend, on the 18th…jeez..weddings…been a long time since i’ve been to one…they bring back weird flashbacks..Mario B of Johnny’s Place got hitched recently..Jann’s s’posed to be doing it(getting married)…is there something in the air or the water?maybe i’m just old and septical..no, skeptical…probably both..after 3.5 times, you know…

interesting conversations at O’lot tonight..jail experiences..maybe i started it by dredging up my own apprehension by the FBI…a long long time ago..and i paid my ‘debt to society’…Plumb Bob had some funny experiences same-o same o…a different crowd tonight..Bruce of PV, Michael T, John Rexer, Nicolas of Fish, Robto/Barb,Mario and then this guy rides his motorcycle into the Whisky Den..WTF? is there a bike’s only parking place in there?  Jerome of Travel Menu dashing in, between sprinkles…a quiet damp evening…La Pena del Sol and Las Palmas doing the group dinners…5th norte semi active..

Bull!  hope the pork chops got delivered…i’m gonna pop for the bbq tomorrow…the recycled car wheel on legs..just the right size for a rack of lamb, ribs or a small dog…

‘ordered the shipment of the 2nd Edition today…let’s see..3 days to the Florida P.O. Box..it sits there a week while Caniz screws around with Customs..here in two weeks and thence to the printer..bigger, better and tastier..whiter than white and a little dab will do ya…right..the 1st Edition will be history by then..as will all of us, eventually…go out and do something memorable, while there’s still time…this is all there is, i.e, have you ever seen a luggage rack on a hearse?

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