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Posts Tagged ‘guns’

Campbell’s…right, the  high point of this weeks’ jaunt to the ‘sailor’s port’ of Puerto San Jose, the cane fields of Bilbao and Monument 21…it turned out that this is a good time to wander around the cane fields looking for Mayan carvings. The fields are dry and the cane is low, providing good visibility…yeah, Hill Billy Tom is credited with spotting the elusive carved stone.

PSJ? hot/humid, buzzing with folks on motos….cant’ say that I advise driving at night with HBT….his night vision is lousy, the cracked windshield in the Ford truck doesn’t help and there are other ‘factors’….we did, however, find the ‘new and improved;’ Bamboo Room, now known as El Talisman…didn’t find the Millenium or the Las Vegas clubs, nor the other ‘places’ that HBT had been to..we kinda swore an oath, that ‘what happens in Puerto San Jose, stays in Puerto San Jose’, so any specific details of events/conversations or observations will not be reported here.

the hotel was perfect, the weather hotter than hell…the dancers at El Talisman sweated a lot and in general, the place was a vast improvement over the old Bamboo Club..and I’ll punch out a few words/photos about the monument 21 in the field..only one narrow miss/gut-wrenching moment when riding with HBT, doing the ol passing uphill/curve/narrow  bridge routine.

In a week from now, it’s off to Guanajara, the little village over the river from Gualan and a hide-out from the looniness of Semana Santa here in Antigua…there may be seats open for this run, as it, somehow, isn’t sounding attractive to the usual crew…c’mon..what’s a few rounds of random gunfire at night? thankfully, at least to me, I have an extra box of ammo that needs ‘field testing’…and given the dud rounds from the previous source, this is a good chance to…er..be one of the boys? from what I’ve heard, gunfire and holes in the  roof are standard behavior there..and the Campbells soup reference? a LaTorre Supermercado in PSJ…

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so….McAfee…sold his life story already, as predicted herein..titled “Running in the  Background”…..jeez…the guy says he just wants to “settle down to whatever normal life…etc” for someone who’s been doing guns, drugs, hookers and hallucinogenic bath salts, ‘normal’ is not the word I’d pick but…I still expect him to show up in the Park one of these days or at a few bars…’heard that he tried to check in at Bruno’s in Rio Dulce but it was full…yeah, he’d fit in with that crowd easily.

the Manos de Christine thing on Sunday apparently was a raging success…no slug fests, just mellow people…sorry I missed it..it’s like I missed Victoria singing Saturday/Sunday night at Cafe Flor….’just can’t take the staying up til 4-5am stuff any more…hey, it wasn’t my fault, ok?

‘found some photos on the web of what appears to be Mike Donley’s long lost boulder/monolith in Bilbao/El Baul…we’ll know wednesday, when the Cougar Boogers get goin’..it’s only been 40 years since he was there, ok?

‘seem to have lost a reader who thought that I was drunk when I wrote, a dirty old man and so on…yep, nailed again…read the disclaimer/about pages for any disclosures, eh?

ah..Volcan Agua! blazing fires around the top….started Sunday morning, gets bigger every day…what to do? bucket brigades?…right…a long long string of garden hoses from Ciudad Viejo? what’s gonna happen up there? who cares and who’s responsible? nadie/no one…how do you say ‘Smokey the Bear’ in spanish?  if Smokey shows up, he’s bbq material.

370px-Bilbao_1

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yeah, drink til 3 and piss til 4am…’not sure what the occasion was but around the corner this morning there was bad drums and fuzzy bass guitars til then…no one in the ‘hood’ slept…’might’ve been the Feast of the Mackerel Conception or whatever but after the Burning of the Devil Friday, last night/morning, I was in no shape to go to the Manos de Christine for the BBQ….I WAS the bbq today..’still am…stick a fork in me, cuz I’m done…and of course, the usual  Sunday football game at the stadium just over the hill…more drums…are a lot of folks hearing impaired in this country? about 3am, i thought about letting off a few rounds but no one would/could’ve heard it…even with an AK with tracer ammo…nada, zip, SOL, dude..
i guess that in San Felipe, permits/licenses for such aren’t necessary (the music, not the guns)..

yeah…McAfee will be with us for a month…maybe more, maybe less…’wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t show up in Antigua, once he gets over being ‘stressed out’…he’s perfect for the boys in the park and some of the bars…’heard today that …nope, can’t talk about it..lo siento..

great..now there’s fireworks..mortar bombs goin’ off nearby…I suspect that Monday will be even slower than usual (and that’s saying something)..and the kids..no, skids are greased for 12/12/12’s departure of the 4 Gringos Road Trip up to Rey-hoo…and a big round of applause for James aka Bull/Santiago Durham..a week outa the hospital and he walked to/fro La Bodegona today…not on his skateboard, but walked..and the level of the rum is getting perilously low…wait! there’s wine!…will this day ever end? will I get a good nights sleep? who cares (I do, dammit)…

gun control? use both hands and if the band comes back around…

gun control means using both hands

gun control means using both hands

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Guatemala, where the strange is just another dose of the daily news and the weird is cannon fodder…no mudder, fodder…I published this last night and this morning in one local paper, the headline read that he’d already been deported, back to Belize…no other confirmation, anywhere…

http://www.examiner.com/article/lawyers-guns-and-john-mcafee?cid=db_articles&no_cache=1354933329

so…? so what? who the hell knows?  or cares, you ask…in a conversation this morning with a local business man, i made a heavy side-bet that…if he (McAfee)were back in Belize (or not) that his phone is ringing with offers from Hollyweird to ‘do’ the story…c’mon…think about it…lawyers, guns,drugs, money, hookers and bizarre behavior? is this not a description of half of Congress, Oprah, Phil Spector and so on? my bet was that within six months we’re looking at a made for TV movie, shot on location…oops..wrong word/connotation…’filmed on location’…and the Belizean sleazoids will sign on as ‘consultants’…oh…who to play the staring role? that whacked out person, likewise ‘eccentric and unstable’…Tom Cruise…life, as usual, defeats the efforts of comedy, art and insanity..pick your actress..Demi Moore, Pam Anderson, Seka…obscure reference #2

yep..missed it again…the ol burning of the Devil…(set for 5pm)..every f$#@! year i think, you know…you really ought to go see it/shoot photos..but as I said earlier to Nicole…i’ve seen the Devil already, in so many times/places/hallucinations, that once more really isn’t going to make a helluva difference..Nixon, for example…LBJ…Tom DeLay…peyote, DMT, mescaline..cha cha cha…Jimmy Swaggert..no, I never really liked acid..

the streets were somewhat empty, somewhat full..5th ave, first block north of the park, doing fine…Casbah/Studio 35 looking good, early..Red’s dead, that new place, La Velada on 1st Calle, with the Spor Bar sign? closed…oops..not good..4th calle,the golden gulch? Sobremesa slammed, Neils’ Michos the same, Tartines? Francois, at the door, looking lonely…Fusion/Mammas? slow…DaVinci? two..yes, 2 tables!…the road/highway screw up at the entrance to town is likewise screwing up a lot of city folks who don’t want to deal with even more of a traffic problem..perfect for Christmas, eh? 

speaking of Christmas, i’ve decided what i want…a real stocking stuffer…Santa, you bastard…come thru for me  this year, goddammit..I’ve been good…and i can produce signed statements, if you want…

is she hot or what?

James aka Santiago/Bull Durham? looking 110% better! color, gaining weight and walking(gingerly aka slowly)…great news…and the ‘pork chop/rib connection? back on, again..briefly…place your orders pronto…jamesdurham2@gmail.com for next week (I’m in for chops)

is she hot?…yeah…if I can find a really really big stocking..’got the fireplace…and if Santa(you stingy bastard) comes thru…

the impending road trip to Take a Lick Abaj? not quite set in stone…more like set in Silly Putty but we’re talking about a time/place for leaving next Wednesday…progress, Antigua style.. 

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late night update….John McAfee,aka The Fugitive, arrested for illegal entry into Guatemala…oops..’is there some way we can work this out?’ yeah..back date his passport, take the $$ and say it was an administrative error…either that or the ‘authorities’ have decided to take his $$ or tie a can to his ass and get him outa town..if he’s been arrested, where do they take him? the same jail as Portillo and Adolfo(Da Mayor of Antigua)…this story never quits..

“Yep! But Antigua is far from being an ideal world, it is one saturated with same businesses, plagued by delusion and obstinate behavioral disorders. The typical has been… but what gorgeous views and climate!”

I told him I was gonna plagiarize him…ah…twilight time in town, one of my favorite Antigua moments…Sunrise is good, before the air gets hit with exhaust fumes but there’s a gorgeous sunset tonight…flaming orange cotton balls in the sky…gotta go outside and take another look…the light is suffused/diffused, there’s no breeze and the birds gather in the trees before winging home. The hot dog vendors in the l ittle park in Manchen push their carts away for the night. This place is paradise and the sunset is slowly fading…what was orange is now pink and gray.

Rich Neel and Marian, on the bike…a big bike and not one of those little dinky 125 cc motos…thanks, Korey D, for the analogy of McAfee and Phil Spector…so, is it  pronounced MAC a fee or mCAFEE? the trend seems to favor the first…o boy…welcome to Guatemala. His 20 yr old twist is the niece of his attorney…the change from gray to dark brown hair/beard? shoulda hired an image consultant..shoulda gone to Honduras/Roatan, where if you’re over 65 yo never go to jail, for anything..he’d be perfect for Roatan…Coke Island, guns, parties..

Josh the guy with the pop bottle creations…Antigua style kinda guy…the sunset is over, the sky faded to gray…walk the streets of 4th calle/5th ave at twilight, catch the aromas of various cafes and the little latina lolitas out for a stroll….Central Parque and the lovers in the corners.

Kudos to Shaun of Ocelot for capturing the  zeitgeist of the moment: ‘McAfee Antivirus’ shooters of some kinda pink drink…yeah, I had two.  My RAM disappeared and I guess I’m virus free…probably oughta defrag my hard drive next…what a perfect evening in Paradise! are we lucky or what?

one last thought or question: location is key for business and parking is at a premium here…its either on the street or in some outa the way hidden parking lot…there’s no valet parking either…does this explain some of El Cazadore Italiano’s ongoing success? parking on both sides of the street…and also Epicure? just wondering?

oh…The Green Door reference…not the Marilyn Chambers porno movie…shot in Sausalito/SF…my abode has massive green metal doors at the entrance..and…more TA stuff (and not tits/ass)

http://www.examiner.com/article/behind-the-scenes-of-takalik-abaj-part-one

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Reuters, whom I kinda respect, had a short note re the 5.5 quake today…”located 47 miles southwest of the ……poor Central American….”  great…more bad press for Guatemala, just like the shooting of the 5 or 6 peasants upcountry last week…loved the photo of the paunchy Colonel and his perp expression.

and yes, another earthquake of the financial sort in town…reportedly(unverified but i’m not surprised)the revamping of what was the Casbah Project is dead in the water..’totally, dude’…as in gonzo, doors closed, the deals off, hasta la vista, baby…great, another Antigua landmark, another hole in the street for 5th Avenida Norte.

if you like car races and what red-blooded man doesn’t, November the 11 at the Cofino Autodrome is the next scheduled loop de loop…per Richard Neel,  anyway….and if spandex is high on your list, this is a very very good place to check it out...

yep…it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it. I would but it conflicts with my trip to El Salvador, but if you want to borrow my press pass…lemme know..it’ll get you into the pits and its good for ‘interviews’..phone numbers, names…cha cha cha..and there’s cars, also!

so…5t ave norte is now even more of a ghost town….poor Angel and her Djinn, exiled to the frozen wastes of Sangre…are they ever going to take down the long dead/gone Estrella sign? oops..now they ‘re offering ‘breakf ast for two..50q! o boy…ever wonder or think about what happens to the leftover/unsold food in restaurants? the beans are beans, the eggs will keep and the pancake batter is stable…but the salad, the vegetables, fruit and meats? so, another what was a classy joint is gone and the town takes another metaphorical poke in the eye…let’s see…El Sereno, Mito’s and a few others…how do they stay open? None of this really means much of anything….I walk by and wonder, that’s all…ah, Cebollinas now offering free margaritas to the ladies, Thursday nights, 6-9 (I think) so, put on your wig hat, muu muu and check it out. I would but Johnny’s Place this Thursday/Friday is where I’ll be….need some beach time, etc..Antigua is boring me lately,  frankly…Scarlett..

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usually in a .22 or .32 caliber…not here…gotta have a 9mm or an AK-47….a murder this morning at 4am or such in San Felipe…and those pesky Mayan ladies banned from the park for selling their goods? even though they’ve been paying 300q a month for the privilege?   get this town cleaned up!….’heard that the Arms Museum is going into the Palacio…also heard an earful or two about Da Mayor’s track record/baggage/history….7 farmacias, a finger in the tuc-tuc biz and exactly how much is 27 million quetzals in $USD? my calculator gagged on the numbers..I’d been thinking(sic) that it was around $300-$400k but Taz/Plumb Bob said it was in the ‘millions of dollars.’..

likewise assumed that…’assume equals ass-u-me’…perfect’ that Jason was back per his green Triumph Bonneville parked in fromt of O’lot…wrong, scotch-breath…Taz riding/using it..the ever delightful Miss E providing biting social comments…observations..

an observer/reader of this raggedy ass excuse complained/observed that it’s lame/puerile/dumb and not much…right! of course!..never was, never will be and not intended to shine any light or provide anything more than a dim light into the corners of what used to be my mind and my daily experiences in town…like walking into Elle and Mo in the park earlier…they leave tomorrow and back to Canada/Toronto…it was a great week for them and now…married? the real adventure begins! jeez..’gives me the chills thinking about starting a new relationship, much less a legal deal like marriage..but hey, they’re young and in love: me, I’m just jaundiced/cynical. And one of our local bar owners asked why I’m never around about midnight, to see a different part of Antigua’s nightlife..

dude..think about it: Antigua’s night life is lame, slow and the highpoint is either dancing on the bar or getting your ass thrown out, into the street. At 68, I’ve done twice this shit, from Bangkok to Amsterdam, San Salvador to Costa Rica..where the drugs are better, the clubs are better and the women more beautiful…don’t get me wrong: this is my home and I like it, just the way it is…lame, slow and charming…two of which words describe me(A and B)..tomorrow? the Box Dudes provided reasonable facsimiles! progress, Guatemalan style..a map of Antigua is in the next print version and I’ll stick it in the next Amazon version..whoopee, right?..

it’ll be semi-amusing to see who shows up for the Pub Quiz at Ocelot tomorrow night..

 

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