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Posts Tagged ‘guns’

Guatemala, where the strange is just another dose of the daily news and the weird is cannon fodder…no mudder, fodder…I published this last night and this morning in one local paper, the headline read that he’d already been deported, back to Belize…no other confirmation, anywhere…

http://www.examiner.com/article/lawyers-guns-and-john-mcafee?cid=db_articles&no_cache=1354933329

so…? so what? who the hell knows?  or cares, you ask…in a conversation this morning with a local business man, i made a heavy side-bet that…if he (McAfee)were back in Belize (or not) that his phone is ringing with offers from Hollyweird to ‘do’ the story…c’mon…think about it…lawyers, guns,drugs, money, hookers and bizarre behavior? is this not a description of half of Congress, Oprah, Phil Spector and so on? my bet was that within six months we’re looking at a made for TV movie, shot on location…oops..wrong word/connotation…’filmed on location’…and the Belizean sleazoids will sign on as ‘consultants’…oh…who to play the staring role? that whacked out person, likewise ‘eccentric and unstable’…Tom Cruise…life, as usual, defeats the efforts of comedy, art and insanity..pick your actress..Demi Moore, Pam Anderson, Seka…obscure reference #2

yep..missed it again…the ol burning of the Devil…(set for 5pm)..every f$#@! year i think, you know…you really ought to go see it/shoot photos..but as I said earlier to Nicole…i’ve seen the Devil already, in so many times/places/hallucinations, that once more really isn’t going to make a helluva difference..Nixon, for example…LBJ…Tom DeLay…peyote, DMT, mescaline..cha cha cha…Jimmy Swaggert..no, I never really liked acid..

the streets were somewhat empty, somewhat full..5th ave, first block north of the park, doing fine…Casbah/Studio 35 looking good, early..Red’s dead, that new place, La Velada on 1st Calle, with the Spor Bar sign? closed…oops..not good..4th calle,the golden gulch? Sobremesa slammed, Neils’ Michos the same, Tartines? Francois, at the door, looking lonely…Fusion/Mammas? slow…DaVinci? two..yes, 2 tables!…the road/highway screw up at the entrance to town is likewise screwing up a lot of city folks who don’t want to deal with even more of a traffic problem..perfect for Christmas, eh? 

speaking of Christmas, i’ve decided what i want…a real stocking stuffer…Santa, you bastard…come thru for me  this year, goddammit..I’ve been good…and i can produce signed statements, if you want…

is she hot or what?

James aka Santiago/Bull Durham? looking 110% better! color, gaining weight and walking(gingerly aka slowly)…great news…and the ‘pork chop/rib connection? back on, again..briefly…place your orders pronto…jamesdurham2@gmail.com for next week (I’m in for chops)

is she hot?…yeah…if I can find a really really big stocking..’got the fireplace…and if Santa(you stingy bastard) comes thru…

the impending road trip to Take a Lick Abaj? not quite set in stone…more like set in Silly Putty but we’re talking about a time/place for leaving next Wednesday…progress, Antigua style.. 

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late night update….John McAfee,aka The Fugitive, arrested for illegal entry into Guatemala…oops..’is there some way we can work this out?’ yeah..back date his passport, take the $$ and say it was an administrative error…either that or the ‘authorities’ have decided to take his $$ or tie a can to his ass and get him outa town..if he’s been arrested, where do they take him? the same jail as Portillo and Adolfo(Da Mayor of Antigua)…this story never quits..

“Yep! But Antigua is far from being an ideal world, it is one saturated with same businesses, plagued by delusion and obstinate behavioral disorders. The typical has been… but what gorgeous views and climate!”

I told him I was gonna plagiarize him…ah…twilight time in town, one of my favorite Antigua moments…Sunrise is good, before the air gets hit with exhaust fumes but there’s a gorgeous sunset tonight…flaming orange cotton balls in the sky…gotta go outside and take another look…the light is suffused/diffused, there’s no breeze and the birds gather in the trees before winging home. The hot dog vendors in the l ittle park in Manchen push their carts away for the night. This place is paradise and the sunset is slowly fading…what was orange is now pink and gray.

Rich Neel and Marian, on the bike…a big bike and not one of those little dinky 125 cc motos…thanks, Korey D, for the analogy of McAfee and Phil Spector…so, is it  pronounced MAC a fee or mCAFEE? the trend seems to favor the first…o boy…welcome to Guatemala. His 20 yr old twist is the niece of his attorney…the change from gray to dark brown hair/beard? shoulda hired an image consultant..shoulda gone to Honduras/Roatan, where if you’re over 65 yo never go to jail, for anything..he’d be perfect for Roatan…Coke Island, guns, parties..

Josh the guy with the pop bottle creations…Antigua style kinda guy…the sunset is over, the sky faded to gray…walk the streets of 4th calle/5th ave at twilight, catch the aromas of various cafes and the little latina lolitas out for a stroll….Central Parque and the lovers in the corners.

Kudos to Shaun of Ocelot for capturing the  zeitgeist of the moment: ‘McAfee Antivirus’ shooters of some kinda pink drink…yeah, I had two.  My RAM disappeared and I guess I’m virus free…probably oughta defrag my hard drive next…what a perfect evening in Paradise! are we lucky or what?

one last thought or question: location is key for business and parking is at a premium here…its either on the street or in some outa the way hidden parking lot…there’s no valet parking either…does this explain some of El Cazadore Italiano’s ongoing success? parking on both sides of the street…and also Epicure? just wondering?

oh…The Green Door reference…not the Marilyn Chambers porno movie…shot in Sausalito/SF…my abode has massive green metal doors at the entrance..and…more TA stuff (and not tits/ass)

http://www.examiner.com/article/behind-the-scenes-of-takalik-abaj-part-one

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Reuters, whom I kinda respect, had a short note re the 5.5 quake today…”located 47 miles southwest of the ……poor Central American….”  great…more bad press for Guatemala, just like the shooting of the 5 or 6 peasants upcountry last week…loved the photo of the paunchy Colonel and his perp expression.

and yes, another earthquake of the financial sort in town…reportedly(unverified but i’m not surprised)the revamping of what was the Casbah Project is dead in the water..’totally, dude’…as in gonzo, doors closed, the deals off, hasta la vista, baby…great, another Antigua landmark, another hole in the street for 5th Avenida Norte.

if you like car races and what red-blooded man doesn’t, November the 11 at the Cofino Autodrome is the next scheduled loop de loop…per Richard Neel,  anyway….and if spandex is high on your list, this is a very very good place to check it out...

yep…it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it. I would but it conflicts with my trip to El Salvador, but if you want to borrow my press pass…lemme know..it’ll get you into the pits and its good for ‘interviews’..phone numbers, names…cha cha cha..and there’s cars, also!

so…5t ave norte is now even more of a ghost town….poor Angel and her Djinn, exiled to the frozen wastes of Sangre…are they ever going to take down the long dead/gone Estrella sign? oops..now they ‘re offering ‘breakf ast for two..50q! o boy…ever wonder or think about what happens to the leftover/unsold food in restaurants? the beans are beans, the eggs will keep and the pancake batter is stable…but the salad, the vegetables, fruit and meats? so, another what was a classy joint is gone and the town takes another metaphorical poke in the eye…let’s see…El Sereno, Mito’s and a few others…how do they stay open? None of this really means much of anything….I walk by and wonder, that’s all…ah, Cebollinas now offering free margaritas to the ladies, Thursday nights, 6-9 (I think) so, put on your wig hat, muu muu and check it out. I would but Johnny’s Place this Thursday/Friday is where I’ll be….need some beach time, etc..Antigua is boring me lately,  frankly…Scarlett..

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usually in a .22 or .32 caliber…not here…gotta have a 9mm or an AK-47….a murder this morning at 4am or such in San Felipe…and those pesky Mayan ladies banned from the park for selling their goods? even though they’ve been paying 300q a month for the privilege?   get this town cleaned up!….’heard that the Arms Museum is going into the Palacio…also heard an earful or two about Da Mayor’s track record/baggage/history….7 farmacias, a finger in the tuc-tuc biz and exactly how much is 27 million quetzals in $USD? my calculator gagged on the numbers..I’d been thinking(sic) that it was around $300-$400k but Taz/Plumb Bob said it was in the ‘millions of dollars.’..

likewise assumed that…’assume equals ass-u-me’…perfect’ that Jason was back per his green Triumph Bonneville parked in fromt of O’lot…wrong, scotch-breath…Taz riding/using it..the ever delightful Miss E providing biting social comments…observations..

an observer/reader of this raggedy ass excuse complained/observed that it’s lame/puerile/dumb and not much…right! of course!..never was, never will be and not intended to shine any light or provide anything more than a dim light into the corners of what used to be my mind and my daily experiences in town…like walking into Elle and Mo in the park earlier…they leave tomorrow and back to Canada/Toronto…it was a great week for them and now…married? the real adventure begins! jeez..’gives me the chills thinking about starting a new relationship, much less a legal deal like marriage..but hey, they’re young and in love: me, I’m just jaundiced/cynical. And one of our local bar owners asked why I’m never around about midnight, to see a different part of Antigua’s nightlife..

dude..think about it: Antigua’s night life is lame, slow and the highpoint is either dancing on the bar or getting your ass thrown out, into the street. At 68, I’ve done twice this shit, from Bangkok to Amsterdam, San Salvador to Costa Rica..where the drugs are better, the clubs are better and the women more beautiful…don’t get me wrong: this is my home and I like it, just the way it is…lame, slow and charming…two of which words describe me(A and B)..tomorrow? the Box Dudes provided reasonable facsimiles! progress, Guatemalan style..a map of Antigua is in the next print version and I’ll stick it in the next Amazon version..whoopee, right?..

it’ll be semi-amusing to see who shows up for the Pub Quiz at Ocelot tomorrow night..

 

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le town is f…..king dead: unless you’re part of a Christian group taking salsa lesions…no, lessons…and obviously not a Baptist/Quaker/et cetera demon..no, denomination that prohibits ‘contact’ or shaking one’s booty…La Sala showing an uptick in attendence: maybe the new decor/menu? whatevah…how the hell does Mito’s, around the corner on 5th ave, stay in business? has anyone ever seen any people in there?…Riki’s? muerto…Cashbar…closed, at least for the night and if it weren’t for Djinn, Sangre would be its usual self aka dead…ha! got an idea for the Consejo and Da Mayor!….if you’ve ever been to Tombstone, Arizona, then maybe you’ve seen the staged shoot-outs on the streets….gunsels in Western garb(clothing) having staged duels…so, here’s the concept…narcos/zetas/betas/sigma chi’s..dressed in black, with a lotta gold chains, cowboy hats and MAC-10s/Uzis..up against our own crime-fighting troops otherwise known as the PNC….acting the parts, of course…schedule a couple of ‘duels in the dust’ on Saturday and Sunday…shooting blanks, with some tasty/toothsome(aka ‘hot’)narco/babes for signing autographs..like it? ‘thought you would..

‘you know, with over 150 places to eat and roughly 500 tourists(Christers, backpackers/spanish school students)the numbers don’t bode well(add up)for the food/bev industry in town, assuming that the number of 500 is close..i think it is but then again you know that math isn’t/wasn’t my strong point.

Scott S/wife/friend in O’lot earlier..Allen working a double shift..O’Lot and then Travel Menu…Robt aka Alabama Bob lamenting the loss of his debit card in the thieves’s paradise known as El Mercado recently and two weeks for a replacement and in the meantime his Guate visa expires in 8 days..Wendy the W going back to Turkey August the 13th, missing the incoming Elle and bride-groom for a celebration the following weekend…MM and new boyfriend cavorting at…love/lust…it must be wonderful…been so long that i forget who ties up who first and yes, Wendy’s unexpected appearance at Angie’s last week did summon up an old expression…”well, f…k me to tears!”…seemed appropriate at the time..

the short lived Antigua City Tour bus is back or at least parked on the square…’spoke with Juan Carlos last week and he said he’d sold the business…’hope this time it works as i thought(sic)that it was a great idea and good for Antigua..and our local plainclothes guy from the PNC,  Juan Mario Cervantes…in a coat and tie in front of El Portal? yep..

and if you’re walking along 6th calle, towards Travel Menu, there’s a BMW/Ford SUV/with California plates parked there..dusty…BMW equals ‘break my window’ which is exactly what happened..rear quarter wing…hello! anyone home? welcome to Antigua! bring money and an extra credit/debit card…

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