Posts Tagged ‘hookers’

so, the ‘eye’ thing that I went to see the doc about? yeah, I’ve been doing the hot compress 3X a day, the drops, the ointment but….he said I also had to drink 8 glasses of water a day….bummer…I thought maybe the ice cubes might count…no…so? buy the 600ml bottle of sparkling water, add it to the whiskey and I’m close, right?

Caffe Opera, gone for a few months, appears to  have re-opened on 4th Ave south, next to Cafe Flor…the scene of the ill-fated Metiz deli previously…this doesn’t bode well for a come-back, you think?

FATCA equals more IRS paranoia…basically it means Foreign Account Tax Collection Act…Canada, with a million or so ex-pat Americans is struggling with it…it means, in a nutshell, that all banks are supposed to provide the IRS with information…transfers, accounts and so on…what this means or might mean for Antiguenos/Gringos is that two banks, BAC and BAM, are now owned by Colombians….drum roll…Colombia has signed a TIEA with the IRS, like Costa Rica and Panama…Tax Information Exchange Agreement…so if..and a big IF, the IRS wants info, they’ve got to provide a name…if you have an S.A aka a corporation, that’s an extra shield..if not and you’re running $$ not reported on your mandated yearly 1040’s or whatever it is now, ‘they’ might, at some point, ask you to explain…CitiBank now, I’m told, without proof/verification, is limiting a monthly transfer of $2000…Sieg Heil, in other words..

For those who care, Miss Honduras is only here for a month…’been riding in any tuk-tuks recently? I do and at least two a week are filled with gasoline fumes…which  implies that the drivers are higher than coons..pick your own metaphor/simile but the fumes are substantial and not my personal preference for getting high.

Wednesday? the reported day for the 234 ‘registered sex workers’ to show up at the IGSS hospital for their weekly exam…234? that’s 3 chicken bus loads! I wondered about the veracity of this statement, since the originator was known for ‘exaggeration’…the doctor confirmed the number…so I asked the local top cop…nah…maybe 50 or so in Antigua…some at the Mercado, some at Divas, Divas2 and Zodiaco…some at the park north of 7th Ave….still with me? since I walk by the hospital 2X a day, sometimes 4…I’ve never seen any lines of….uh..how to say this…hookers…even four abreast..he says they (the doctors, 2 of ’em)work until 9 or 10 at night, doing the tests…uh, what kind of tests? wait! with the Muni/City Council now mostly gone or in jail, does that reduce the number of 234?

and yes…www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer for the November version of Our Man in Antigua…and yes, more ‘road trips’ underway for addition to ‘A Year of Driving Dangerously’..


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You probably don’t want to look up the definition….ah, the rains, the buses of kids brought into town, the crowds…and this is just the beginning of a LONG holiday weekend…get to the bank/atms now, before the money is drained and you’re sucking by Monday (money-wise, that is)

if and I repeat if, the reported number of registered ‘sex workers’ (234)in Antigua alone(I asked that specific question)is valid and…and there’s another group of….uh, free lancers, are they tuning up for the festivities?

discounts, ‘specials’…again, I’ve been told that around the evening,  Burger King and the hotel across the street, plus the little park between Antigua/Joco…well, you tell me…I’m busy…screwing with the so-called printers in this town, who don’t answer…’yeah, I’ve got copies of your last book cover and yes, I’ll sell them’….right…how about a price, dipshit?..o gee, forgot to include a price…

Per Neil of Micho’s there’s a storm blowing in from the Pacific side, thru Sunday…o fine..perfect for tomorrow’s little overnighter in Monterrico with HBT (with side trips to special places only he knows about)…right, no camera, for this trip..

Sobremesa/Pappy’s BBQ teaming up with the Mimosa Mamas for a two day brunch blow out…11-2, Sat/Sun..expect me there for Sunday, assuming that HBT doesn’t get me thrown in jail for whatever…and 3pm, sunday, Reilly’s La Esquina for a photo shoot of ‘Corn Hole’…whatever that is but I’m loading up with fresh batteries..’went by early for a look at Fusion/Nido Antigua’s art exibition….spel chuk..exabition? exibition…screw it…showing, ok? ah…ok, but not great..no prices, no red stickers for ‘sold’ marks…gimme panza verde, ok?

and yes, another triumph of  ‘hope over experience’….that little cafe spot around the corner from…corner of 1ist calle-6th avenida, the scene of many disasters…? yep, new faces, looking at signs(not good) and dreaming of making it big in Antigua…and another vain attempt, next to the perfume shop on 5th calle, across from organica? more dreams waiting to crash…

and yes…mold, again? yep….


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Guatemala, where the strange is just another dose of the daily news and the weird is cannon fodder…no mudder, fodder…I published this last night and this morning in one local paper, the headline read that he’d already been deported, back to Belize…no other confirmation, anywhere…


so…? so what? who the hell knows?  or cares, you ask…in a conversation this morning with a local business man, i made a heavy side-bet that…if he (McAfee)were back in Belize (or not) that his phone is ringing with offers from Hollyweird to ‘do’ the story…c’mon…think about it…lawyers, guns,drugs, money, hookers and bizarre behavior? is this not a description of half of Congress, Oprah, Phil Spector and so on? my bet was that within six months we’re looking at a made for TV movie, shot on location…oops..wrong word/connotation…’filmed on location’…and the Belizean sleazoids will sign on as ‘consultants’…oh…who to play the staring role? that whacked out person, likewise ‘eccentric and unstable’…Tom Cruise…life, as usual, defeats the efforts of comedy, art and insanity..pick your actress..Demi Moore, Pam Anderson, Seka…obscure reference #2

yep..missed it again…the ol burning of the Devil…(set for 5pm)..every f$#@! year i think, you know…you really ought to go see it/shoot photos..but as I said earlier to Nicole…i’ve seen the Devil already, in so many times/places/hallucinations, that once more really isn’t going to make a helluva difference..Nixon, for example…LBJ…Tom DeLay…peyote, DMT, mescaline..cha cha cha…Jimmy Swaggert..no, I never really liked acid..

the streets were somewhat empty, somewhat full..5th ave, first block north of the park, doing fine…Casbah/Studio 35 looking good, early..Red’s dead, that new place, La Velada on 1st Calle, with the Spor Bar sign? closed…oops..not good..4th calle,the golden gulch? Sobremesa slammed, Neils’ Michos the same, Tartines? Francois, at the door, looking lonely…Fusion/Mammas? slow…DaVinci? two..yes, 2 tables!…the road/highway screw up at the entrance to town is likewise screwing up a lot of city folks who don’t want to deal with even more of a traffic problem..perfect for Christmas, eh? 

speaking of Christmas, i’ve decided what i want…a real stocking stuffer…Santa, you bastard…come thru for me  this year, goddammit..I’ve been good…and i can produce signed statements, if you want…

is she hot or what?

James aka Santiago/Bull Durham? looking 110% better! color, gaining weight and walking(gingerly aka slowly)…great news…and the ‘pork chop/rib connection? back on, again..briefly…place your orders pronto…jamesdurham2@gmail.com for next week (I’m in for chops)

is she hot?…yeah…if I can find a really really big stocking..’got the fireplace…and if Santa(you stingy bastard) comes thru…

the impending road trip to Take a Lick Abaj? not quite set in stone…more like set in Silly Putty but we’re talking about a time/place for leaving next Wednesday…progress, Antigua style.. 



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le town is f…..king dead: unless you’re part of a Christian group taking salsa lesions…no, lessons…and obviously not a Baptist/Quaker/et cetera demon..no, denomination that prohibits ‘contact’ or shaking one’s booty…La Sala showing an uptick in attendence: maybe the new decor/menu? whatevah…how the hell does Mito’s, around the corner on 5th ave, stay in business? has anyone ever seen any people in there?…Riki’s? muerto…Cashbar…closed, at least for the night and if it weren’t for Djinn, Sangre would be its usual self aka dead…ha! got an idea for the Consejo and Da Mayor!….if you’ve ever been to Tombstone, Arizona, then maybe you’ve seen the staged shoot-outs on the streets….gunsels in Western garb(clothing) having staged duels…so, here’s the concept…narcos/zetas/betas/sigma chi’s..dressed in black, with a lotta gold chains, cowboy hats and MAC-10s/Uzis..up against our own crime-fighting troops otherwise known as the PNC….acting the parts, of course…schedule a couple of ‘duels in the dust’ on Saturday and Sunday…shooting blanks, with some tasty/toothsome(aka ‘hot’)narco/babes for signing autographs..like it? ‘thought you would..

‘you know, with over 150 places to eat and roughly 500 tourists(Christers, backpackers/spanish school students)the numbers don’t bode well(add up)for the food/bev industry in town, assuming that the number of 500 is close..i think it is but then again you know that math isn’t/wasn’t my strong point.

Scott S/wife/friend in O’lot earlier..Allen working a double shift..O’Lot and then Travel Menu…Robt aka Alabama Bob lamenting the loss of his debit card in the thieves’s paradise known as El Mercado recently and two weeks for a replacement and in the meantime his Guate visa expires in 8 days..Wendy the W going back to Turkey August the 13th, missing the incoming Elle and bride-groom for a celebration the following weekend…MM and new boyfriend cavorting at…love/lust…it must be wonderful…been so long that i forget who ties up who first and yes, Wendy’s unexpected appearance at Angie’s last week did summon up an old expression…”well, f…k me to tears!”…seemed appropriate at the time..

the short lived Antigua City Tour bus is back or at least parked on the square…’spoke with Juan Carlos last week and he said he’d sold the business…’hope this time it works as i thought(sic)that it was a great idea and good for Antigua..and our local plainclothes guy from the PNC,  Juan Mario Cervantes…in a coat and tie in front of El Portal? yep..

and if you’re walking along 6th calle, towards Travel Menu, there’s a BMW/Ford SUV/with California plates parked there..dusty…BMW equals ‘break my window’ which is exactly what happened..rear quarter wing…hello! anyone home? welcome to Antigua! bring money and an extra credit/debit card…

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ask Robt “plumb bob’ Wheat what this refers to…he’ll give you the visual…Mike Chrisman at the usual watering hole,showing off his german shirt that reads ‘X-Man’ across the back, his  handle..no, er..his nicknmae..’handle’ might be misconstrued in certain quarters…thanks for the memories, X-man, about the days when we had the keys to the med room and no one counted the jars of goodies..let’s see…some of those and some of these..’gimme the 10 mg size, please..

Tono Pullin! in rare form last night at dos Reilly’s…never seen so many little bottles of johnny walker red get consumed in such a fashion…welcome home, Tono..and the only man in town who knows the difference between a dupont and a dunhill..i favor the first even though the f…$#@!! french charge $5 a refill…typical for those frenchy bastards..

and another sweet night with the beautiful ms M…smashing in a simple black dress, gold-accented jewelry and a divine form…travel menu? i’m a convert to their ‘jesper’s special’…it’s on the latest version, sent out/up today on amazon.com along with a few other updates..in print, locally maybe…maybe here next week, all things considered and i don’t mean NPR..the powers that be at Frener Printers..

and a 20q ride home..what is usually a ten q pop and once in a while 7 or even five? the evening’s road closures per the last or maybe last few final acts of Semana Satan causing massive traffic screw-ups…took the long way home, almost to Joco, i think..will the Easter Bunny show up tomorrow? will he survive the barbecue? where’s the easter egg hunt or the chocolate bunnies? chocolate bunnies? probably in San Jose, at the Del Rey..oooh.. bite their….i gotta learn to censure some of this..my youngest daughter is an occasional reader..and yes, she’s met Brenda the Stripper who became a porno star, but…


a ‘dad likes to think, or at least I do, that somethings are better kept ‘under wraps..


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yeah, I know that in some places it’s called Maundy Thursday…the smell from under my sink in the bathroom? my traveling shaving kit? yep…grey mold…fabulous, which may explain some of the side effects from the meds in there..

yesterdays quote/lead in paragraph?  copy/pasted from an anonymous person’s comments..his ‘handle/email address further the impression that medication won’t work and i don’t know any therapists in town who could do anything..sad..i wish him well and no, i’m not copying the later comment.

the processions? the streets! i think i’ve figured out how to handle this stuff..it’s a buffet..go here, do the alfombras, go there and avoid the crowds…passed Mike Chrisman on 3rd calle, admiring the works of art..the one we stopped at looked like a pair of dice, only missing the white spots of craps, snake-eyes, little joe and so on..yep, ‘Vegas hasn’t quite been dispelled from the memory..and the almost full orange moon? most xlint.i love this town,  fruits, flakes, nuts and all..hey..change to name to Ciudad Granola.

thank you, Reed, Robto de Oro for the cocktails..I was in a daze, having picked  up a portion of the long overdue container shipment of Der Book…original 1st Editions, printed in the States..does that may any difference, $$-wise? who cares? i need the $$…call for delivery and for a few extra $$, Marbel will deliver(the books).

Nadoosh, the ‘Gaia’ knockoff on 6th avenida? dark and locked..I didn’t get any further than Ocelot and it was packed/crazy..first time i’ve seen any purple-gowned folks in the patio..borrachos and free lance guitarists cadging $$/drinks and great 80’s Guate history from Mike, long timer..Johhny’s and other places..no idea, as usual but I love the background, just part of what  make this place so special for me…Rio Dulce/drug stories…a place in Entre Rios, that has the best……we traded stories about Puerto San Jose..whatever, I’m in and as safe/sound as it gets..will i open the box of books just to check/swoon? por que no?

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or a medium-rare…I’m in the midst of a “Pink Slime’ article and the more I read, the more my stomach turns: Guatemala is lucky in that we can watch the butcher cut off the chunk and then stuff it into the grinder…what’s next ‘up there?’..right, the 3 governors are doing stand-up comedy routines trying to put this fire out..rotsa luck…

that subject started a round of disgusting comments at the 5 o’clock meeting of the 4 Mousketeers and it only went sideways from there…thanks, Reed, for the Costa Rica angle, which led to the following(unfit for most readers but it did make the front page of the India Times)


and you wonder why I sometimes write under a ‘nom de plume?’ i guess whatever ‘cover’ i thought i may have had is now ‘blown’…so to speak..the latest version of “Our Obscene Man etc’ is now out..no, not THAT kind of out…out/about with my little black shoulder bag, schlepping copies hither, thither and yon: people! buy up/out those older versions so we can all restock($$)manana, eh?…mentioned to Reed that I have just enough frequent flier miles to get from her…here to San Jose(CR)…will i ever grow up/go back? hey, if i did, it would only be to re-test my roulette system(trust me)and no, i’m not posting any photos..ask and ye may shall receive…

‘seems that i’ve become a user/abuser of tuk-tuks, now that i live a bit further out..yeah,i’m older but the spine still takes a licking(don’t go there)…well, maybe..one of our bar owners raging-ranting at another bar tonight…in rare form…ah! Mary spotted! long timee no see…with RT2…Robto de Oro likewise…hows Barb? scheduled for serious surgery on the 6th, if i recall(and not much, thank you) Alzheimer’s friendly, that’s me…meet new people every day….they(whoever ‘they’ are)are still whipping on the old Reilly’s space on upper 5th…what’s it gonna be? dunno..typical..Sangre’s reopened and did something in the far rear..no, back…’rear’…don’t go there..there seems to be a lot  of innuendos in this post…but then, again..innuendo is the italian word for suppository, and yes…i’m going to my room now.

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