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Posts Tagged ‘ilegal mezcal’

someone in the park suggested that I needed potassium to counter/offset the muscle cramp in my left leg…fine. ‘Bodegona outa bananas, so I took the next best route…Oxaforte….yeah, it also contains codeine so my leg is getting the best of both worlds…if a little is good, is more…better?

I heard of the poetry reading at Cafe No Se tonight…first it was at 6pm, then 6:30 and then 7pm…fueled by copious amounts of Ilegal Mezcal, piano by Seth Monfort…gawd…I can only imagine the place by 9pm, but medicine/self-dosing raised its’ ugly head…well…let’s just say that I got as far as Dyslexia earlier and limped back to Ocelot for the usual 5pm gathering of increasing inebriated…no, ‘sparkling conversations’….’dripping’ and ‘as long as there’s a pulse’ were the buzzwords…Neil of Micho’s? whew, his lady friend…and took the accolades for his superior steaks(rib eyes)…go road-test one and see if you’re not convinced that they’re superb..I’m not usually a fan of Guate beef, as I think that Nicaragua has the best in Central America..but with Micho’s…damned good..

Bob aka Whole Wheat still on the fence about next week’s road trip…there’s this day known as Valentine’s…and if you’re in a relationship and space this/that day, you’re paying later, with interest accruing…and thanks, Reid, for the many happy memories/mammarries of the Del Rey in San Jose….mammaries? spel chuck it…’glad to know that I’m not the only dipper in that pond.

and we’re losing another long-time Antigueno, John Korte: married to a long time Antiguena who owns serious hotels here and the Lake? found his ‘spot’ in Panama..by the beach, and bailing….these are two great people who brought something to the table in Antigua….they’ll be missed and the IQ level of town just went down several points, as well as the ‘class/style quotient’.

Surprise! in the mail, at Caniz this morning was the February/Amazon proof copy of Our Man…yeah, the 12th or 13th edition….great back cover quotes and a fresh quote, price-wise from Copia Fiel….Frener et al keeps coming up with great new excuses for why they’re not…etc, etc..

c’mon, potassium….is one more ok, safety-wise? am i going to be operating heavy machinery tonight? If i called now, I could cancel her ‘house call’…and this is the 9th and last day of candles for the departed Dobie, Kayla..RIP, old girl..a replacement has been found from AWARE but she’s half the size but with the same coloring..welcome to the finca, chica…this has got to be ‘dog paradise’…

tomorrow night, at Cafe No Se, is a staff blow-out for the Ilegal Mezcal crews…’should be highly entertaining, so if you’re in the ‘hood, stop in for …..bring a seatbelt..and the return of another ‘snowbird’ Barb the K…who left early last year for some serious medical stuff..surgery/chemo…all we’re missing is Joe Collins of Houses to Homes..

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I think I might’ve had too much..all this time I’ve been thinking(sic)that i’m 67…wrong, scotch-breath…68+….screw…was it the Leap Year Effect? or too many Baktun’s?

Nelson Lunding, our home town troubadour, leaving us for a while: off to Oaxaca/Puerto Escondido for some kinda music fest and playing with some serious musicians..Alex of Sobremesa, working on his next book while serving patrons…yeah, we spoke about getting in the ‘zone’ and how to focus…I dunno how he does it, frankly.

Lava? slammed for Salsa Night by a horde or two of folks in hawaiian gear…apparently left over from last night’s Pub Crawl  organized by Carla B..and the usual weird conversations around the patio for Slappy Hour…drugs/smuggling stories..

Hap/Hogan minus the other guy, getting on the bus for San Pedro Sula, Tela and La Ceiba this week…oh, and the Bay Islands..and the bogus watch story? one was exchanged for another and it was equally bogus…jeez, at least Francisco is consistent, eh?

some kinda bead store going in next to Riki’s…ex-Riki’s…Ganesha…Ritual, on 5th avenida, going outa biz…20% off and stuff is going out the door…the ex owners of Caffe Bourbon have surfaced, across the street in a clothing store…I wish them well…good location, nice stuff.

Ilegal Mezcal’s staff from all over, descending on Antigua/Cafe No Se next month and that should be the scene of some aberrant behavior, even more than usual(if that’s possible). ..i really should go by, as it’s been a while…look, I’ve been in a rut, ok?

caching! another month of Amazon $$!…not much, btw, but it’s money, ok? keep the Euros and pounds coming in, eh? and yes, another road trip shaping up for February…Baja…Baja Verapaz, someplace I haven’t seen…Hill Billy Tom is the driver but we haven’t assigned any rooms yet, if you know what I mean…I’m waiting to see how the Ford pickup with the big V8(a gas-sucking hog)runs uphill..knowing HBT, it’ll be passing chicken buses on blind curves and nobody lives forever…I apologize for the lack of content or meaningful stuff herein…it’s just a Monday, ok? i didn’t get around/out much…I’ve been having a bit of ‘woman problems’…no…first of all, she’s a woman, then a Latina and then a Guatemalteca and then a Catolica and then….what more? you’d think that I knew better, right?…where’s the ice? a cocktail, anyone? yeah, there’s another category but I’m not going there…

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and in the cupholder…the very tasty MM of El Portal, she who goes thru boyfriends on a weekly basis, plays tennis next door at the Club Antigueno…the errant orbs drift over the fence and just like a funny kind of Easter Egg Hunt, either I or the dogs collect ’em..she was bangin’ away this morning…oops, wrong simile…and I had a bag o’ balls…ergo..’left em in her Jeep and I’ll collect the kisses/hugs later.

ah…yes, John Rexer, who said not to drink the Joven Ilegal mezcal too fast…I’m not…but the danger level is getting closer…what a product!..compared to Quetzalteca,  it’s like comparing Hell’s Angel meth to pharmaceutical blow, HavaTampa’s to Montecristo #1’s, Kansas ditchweed to Maui Wowie..well, you get the picture, right?

a small change but one in the right direction…the ‘approved by CamTur’ stamp now changed to ‘recommended by CamTur’…a stronger word…maybe the turistas will get it…or maybe not…what’s up with the matching T-shirts? yeah, it’s a communal/bonding thing….let ’em walk the fire coals with Tony Robbins instead and get their tootsies burnt…’heard that Safe Passage, of whom I read a weekly schedule recently, just scored a 2 million dollar coup this year…yeah, $2M…the ‘schedule’ was mostly in transport/dinners and meetings…o yeah, save the kids…right..

Music? Piano Mike is back in Chicago..leaving Ron Fortin/Adan the Cuban Magical Pianist and who else? TLG and the Mezcalitos, I guess..with all these ‘Christian’ groups, the town’s rocknroll/party hearty atmosphere is taking a hit…maybe bring back Black Sabbath and some satanic rock…or how about an LDS group, the ‘Stormin’ Mormons’?….whilst reading about the town’s patron saint, i was surprised to read that St. James made an appearance to Joseph Smith(the Morman dude)…what the hell was he taking? anyone who spun off stories of golden tablets and an angel named Moroni…is moroni plural for morons?

Peter the G in town on Sunday..or was it Saturday? looked like he was(Saturday)doing real estate stuff aka ‘showing properties’…

Miss M, whilst here for lunch, noticed some of the Mayan carvings…said that one looked like a ‘dick’…’had to ask if she’d ever seen a dick with a smiley face…

rocket dick

 

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you had to be there, I s’pose: a pickup parked outside of Cafe No Se about 5pm on Saturday, Michael Tallon, John Rexer and a couple of workers schlepping in small cardboard boxes of the latest batch of Ilegal Mezcal…’caught up in the frenzy, I missed if each box had four or six bottles of Joven but there was a helluva lot eventually stacked in the back. There’s been a drought of this in town…you know, those wacky Mexicans and their manana attitude? not really: John’s just created a monster that consumes this stuff world-wide and since each batch is hand-crafted, etc…have the labels been changed? they look spiffier/more elegant….”don’t drink it too fast” he said to me(several times)hell, it’s still sitting on the counter, unopened.

yet, another Beauty Pageant yesterday! last weekend we had the Queen of the PNC or some kinda police pageant and they(the contestants) kinda resembled…ack, how to be kind/nice? (don’t)..The real Miss Antigua pageant attracted the cream of the crop and what’s left isn’t A-List material. Yesterday, gathered around the Park and on the sidewalks for photo-ops, were the contestants for Miss Bombero and her court..we’re scraping the bottom of the beauty barrel, folks.

It’ s been two days of gustatory pleasure, which is why I ain’t been around at night…Friday Santiago’s suberb Tecpan ribs on the barbie and yesterday the most xlnt lasagna from Pan E Fantasia, Deliciosa’s replacement…someone said that Luciano made it and I thought that Pavarotti had died…The DelightfulMiss M and I made a dent in it, whoever the hell Luciano is…’flavor-wise it reminded me of Angie’s gorgonzola raviolis…if it’s pork-related, contact Senor Durham…jamesdurham2@gmail….maybe, as with Mary Kay/Herbalife, maybe I can get some kinda rake-off going…Herbalife/Getalife? another Utah-based Mormon multi-level thing, here in town? yep…in the El Jaulon building. Who the hell is buying from them? what was the name of the older MLM hustle? ah, Amway!…..ever have one of your ‘acquaintances’ call up with the ‘pitch’?…they gave ’em a really good script to use, as I remember.

the town packed with people, even…tourists! yes, foreigners/auslanders with shorts, cameras and bewildered packs of a dozen or more. Andy, our superb mime, doin’ his number on 5th avenida, the usual crowd of 50 giggling. He’s good…drop a 5 or ten q note in his tip jar, eh? zo? wonder which Beauty Queen group will be posing today? and the Big Question…will Da Mayor march at the front of the parade on Wednesday, as usual?

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personal stuff, aside from Elmore Leonard’s book of the same title..Wife #2 who went to an exclusive Cathlick day school in Carmel (classmates with Patty Hearst)actually had to go around and knock on doors in the o so snooty environs of Carmel and solicit donations for ‘pagan babies’…she kill me if she reads this but the odds are slim/nun..the headline refers to a new chapter in the little/silly booklet, now in its umpteeth version…Franklin/Asgreenasitgets.org has this section, at least for the next few weeks…I’ve been kinda down on a lotta NGO’s here but after interviewing Houses to Homes, my position/opinion is changing…

RT2 and Mary at O’lot..she laughed when I told her that my phone was set on ‘vibrate’ and i carry it in a front pocket…hey, at my age..that’s the only buzz i’m gonna get..

Ripped again? or still?…John Rexer, Mr Ilegal Mezcal hisself..snagged his shirt on a table..ripped..get it? matched his levis..the semi-usual crowd of Happy Hour schmoozers/boozers..this was the 2nd time I’ve seen John in the daytime in the last four years..what that means or implies, I have no idea…draw your own conclusions/dotted lines..our wandering bar goddess, Carla the B? off to the Lake and entering the employ of a new guru in town…please, let this work..’having spent a goodly/godly portion of my life in/around ‘gurus’ of all stripes, persuasions and creeds, I’m…let’s just say..naw, cross your fingers for her..Barb the K’s surgery is actually scheduled for the 9th…cross fingers or whatever else works..and come back here, pronto..Travel Menu’s kitchen is ‘under repair’ for a day or two..so, if you’re..etc..wait til wednesday..the New ‘Original Antigua City Tour?’…looking good…thought i saw Bull Durham riding this morning and later, about 5ish,a full load of turistas rolling along 2nd calle…go Juan Carlos!…seriously, this is an xlnt tour..cheap,fun and chockfullafacts..40q for and hour and a half? I’d pay that to watch the monkeys ….k…starts at 9am or so, in front of the Cathedral/parque..

try as I might, tomorrow there’s no escaping the ‘jezus on a stick’ thing…the little finca where i reside(live)has the first station on the west wall.showtime is 3pm..o boy..if i called first thing, could the farmacia deliver some serious meds? prescription? we don’t need a stinkin’ prescription..i’m re-reading Treasure of the Sierra Madre so if i go off on a tangent…so what? better than going off on a lark, eh?

the most xlnt Claudia #1 of Da Vinci seen about, before going to work(so to speak)at 6 or so…one of usual three Claudias is on some kinda sabbatical per family stuff..so? there’s #1 and that’s all I care about…call me, please..make my Razr vibrate, just one more time..

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vodka and tonic? yep…an inadvertent mixture, compliments of Travel Menu…t’wasn’t all that bad, just different…maybe if it had a tricky name…thanks to a reader known as upyrarse…yeah i feel the same way some times…

it would seem that the Lent thing is underway…yesterday evening the steps by the Cathedral were packed with dudes in all black, pointy cowls and all…a reverse version of the KuKlux Klan and a Jesus dude haranguing the crowd…why? who knows? I dont…if this town had a different slant, model some parades a la the Carnaval in Rio…semi-naked babes in feathers and body paint…have some local businesses sponsor a float or two…fuggedabout the same old tired draggin’ the barge with the dessicated remains of some saint or the tortured faces of Mother Mary….T&A!….look: it’s the same story, year after year…we’ve seen the movie, read the book and it always ends up the same…ok, fine..

it was/is another perfect day..weather-wise…the marvelous Marvel showed up on time and looking spectacular…took her by Old Town Outfitters…tongues dropped..yeah, she’ll be fine repping the ‘booklet’ of which the 2nd Edition comes out locally next week..you 13 or 14 outlets won’t have to deal with my ugly mug…and the tour bus drivers? roll over, cuz you’l be standing in line to see her.

the old De Bronce store on 4th ave sur? morphing into a….’nother restaurant…idiots..another new cafe on Travel Menu’s block…the golden pelican…hope that’s not their nightly special..Las Palmas and Le Pena del Sol doin’ the large groups(as usual)…5ta snorte packed with walkers/waiters for the procession later(see above for description)…will it be the Virgin or the Martyr? or the combo package? gimme some babes on floats…feathers, beads and bangles…The Rotary Club, dos Reilly’s, Cafe No Se’s sponsored babes on barges…sample bottles of Ilegal Mezcal tossed to the waiting multitudes..small, airline sizes…plastic, so if you get bopped with one, etc..work with me here…Antigua needs a shot in the arm(or the buttocks)and this has legs…think of the publicity…nuns in black habits/garter belts…Cashbar would sponsor something…hey..why was Sangre closed on a Saturday night? staff picnic? the money finally ran out? the renovation of what was Reilly’s next door continues…and no, no idea(as usual)as what’s going to be there..the old Tapas y Tintas, thence the short lived Cuban mistake of Seafood/Mojitos building on 1st calle,near 4th ave norte? getting a massive clean up..exterior paint, roof being buffed out…por que? this town could use a decent casino and strip joint..members only..quiet…dress code, of course…whew…some tasty Capitalinas walkin’ around..babes with a capital B..a few with their dumb little mutts on leashes…the smaller, the better…apparently..’watched one with three dogs on leashes, her old man and she on a telephone…he cleaned up the crap, she kept on talking…’got them all well trained..she obviously doesn’t take shit from anyone..and he does..roll over, dude..

i bailed on the American Legion/Joe’s grill BBQ..gave my donation in $$…too whipped from last night and i had a 11 am with the marvelous M…a much better idea..some folks might think/say that I’m being sexist/cynical about marketing…yeah..it’s true: remember that I lived in ‘Vegas a few years ago..it’s not about the steak..it’s about the sizzle and when you see her, you’ll know exactly what i’m talkin’ about..have the $$ ready..   

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who would’ve imagined an afternoon/early evening sprinkle? not me, obviously, having left umbrella #5 behind at Bangalore Bobs..’ran into a made-up/sparkling version of Briele Miel Duflon on her way to the the park for photos…damned near didn’t recognize her…false eyelashes and the whole kit/caboodle…tres chic and damn good looking..with/without, kinda like frosting on a cake..

thank you, John Rexer et al…the ‘distribution network’ is 99% complete..25 copies a week, no mas..here, there and so on…Ricardo of Tabacos y Vinos at the helm of his usual nightly semi-party…Jean-Marc! don’t usually see him at T&V but there he was..Gabi A, doing TV..television, not transvestites..for a promo for the VMB, coming soon..next friday…buy a ticket, see the show, marvel at the costumes and laugh when I try to be moderate…no, the moderator…I can do this…trust me, i’m a trained professional..

Alex Ferrar of Sobremesa and Helados Exoticos? tying the knot…i.e, getting married next weekend, on the 18th…jeez..weddings…been a long time since i’ve been to one…they bring back weird flashbacks..Mario B of Johnny’s Place got hitched recently..Jann’s s’posed to be doing it(getting married)…is there something in the air or the water?maybe i’m just old and septical..no, skeptical…probably both..after 3.5 times, you know…

interesting conversations at O’lot tonight..jail experiences..maybe i started it by dredging up my own apprehension by the FBI…a long long time ago..and i paid my ‘debt to society’…Plumb Bob had some funny experiences same-o same o…a different crowd tonight..Bruce of PV, Michael T, John Rexer, Nicolas of Fish, Robto/Barb,Mario and then this guy rides his motorcycle into the Whisky Den..WTF? is there a bike’s only parking place in there?  Jerome of Travel Menu dashing in, between sprinkles…a quiet damp evening…La Pena del Sol and Las Palmas doing the group dinners…5th norte semi active..

Bull!  hope the pork chops got delivered…i’m gonna pop for the bbq tomorrow…the recycled car wheel on legs..just the right size for a rack of lamb, ribs or a small dog…

‘ordered the shipment of the 2nd Edition today…let’s see..3 days to the Florida P.O. Box..it sits there a week while Caniz screws around with Customs..here in two weeks and thence to the printer..bigger, better and tastier..whiter than white and a little dab will do ya…right..the 1st Edition will be history by then..as will all of us, eventually…go out and do something memorable, while there’s still time…this is all there is, i.e, have you ever seen a luggage rack on a hearse?

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