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Posts Tagged ‘john rexer’

Scotch Those Rumors!

Posted in Living in Antigua, tagged , , , , , on January 14, 2013| Leave a Comment »

what a long f….ng day…one of ‘those’, where it’s one thing after another.  Yep, 9 letters from the IRS, all saying the same thing: we have your blood and your children but don’t worry…it’s a long story.

a day of losing stuff, breaking things and ass-chewing..not mine, others..on the other hand?  five fingers!…two of the more scientifically oriented members of this weekends’ jaunt  up into the Highlands in search of the Lost Spanish Fly mine have checked in and they seem to concur…that yes…the specimen..no, the sample is silver ore..next, I’ll send it to the Ore House for validation(and parking).

Seriously…it was a trip without problems…yes, we did overrun a fruit inspection station and yes, we did have a motorcycle escort out of Hue Hue yesterday..but, no..no one unbuttoned their pistols, so you can say that all was gooder…the hotel in Hue Hue? most good! the Casa Blanca…a superb choice for a number of reasons.

Todos Santos on a Saturday market day? insane, colorful and drunk..them, not us, btw..

John Rexer, seen in Bodogona at 6ish…Karla and Nelson, at Ocelot later…I like the fact that they’re back together…a great couple, for many reasons and love is hard to find..and all the bad ones are taken. Reid, commenting that his dinner last night at Sobremesa was great…see, I told you.

and my printer, the local smuck? gave me 25 copies of the November version…’didn’t read the current version on the flashdrive that I gave him..plus the notes/memos about minor changes…dipshit…it’s enough to drive me to drink: oops..no car…how about if I get up and just pour another one?

fine…done…the trip to the ‘mines’ was good…Norm the K drove well, the Perfesser and he provided the science and Ponzi Bob and I sat in the back seat and spaced out..there will be articles, photos and so on…stay ‘tooned’…is this week almost over?

Image

 

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Post No Bills

Posted in El Salvador, Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , on November 21, 2012| Leave a Comment »

’twas the night before….oops, wrong holiday…gotta get a new calendar, assuming that after the 21st of December, we’re all still here…there’s a ton of hype about the ‘end of the world’ coming…even worst than the Harmonica Convergence a few years back..I’ve been invited to go see/observe/whiff some copal up country about then…might be better than the flying saucer conventions on the West Coast that my folks used to take me to..

Marcel, late of El Cazadore Italiano, taking life easy…swapped the blue Chevelle for a gray Camaro…Ignacio, our somewhat truncated Cuban musician? looking spiffy again and says he’s playing at PV, La Sala and Cafe No Se…doing better than a lot of other musicians, eh? PM? off to take a dip in the Sea of Love…another triumph of hope over experience…i wish him well..

Klaus of the Jardin Bavaria, back from Spain/Germany…stories varied…John the Rexer, back in town, ‘taking meetings’ in the sun…Ilegal Mezcal is everywhere these days(except in my cupboard) and yes, we’re losing another SYT….i admit to having had an ‘avuncular interest’ but it’s time for her to blow town and go on to bigger/better things/places…there are times when i forget that this is a transient town…some that I’d wish would stay, don’t and some that I’d wish would leave…don’t..

somewhere, in the last week, I noticed a new sign  up for a hotel/restaurant and a ‘spor bar’….did they mean ‘spore’ or what? spore, i can believe, as in mushrooms, keep ’em in the dark and feed ’em horseshit..perfect…and the Prensa Libre referred to our mayor by another name…does this mean that Adolfo has had it?  well, yes…and yes, there’s a certain place, where if you go upstairs and ask nicely for an ashtray, they’re available…no names, eh?

got one of those insipid e-cards today, from a lady friend who used to reside in ‘Vegas…now hiding out in the Dom Rep….the message was…what are you thankful for this year? good question…I’m thankful for not being on my ass in a 3rd rate hospital in the City, not still in the clutches of the IRS and so on…my life is good and I don’t take that lightly…off to the Jet Set tomorrow! whoop whoop, as Yo-Yo is fond of saying…and where the hell is Buck Wheat? still in El Salvador with Evelyn?  the country isn’t that big, eh? have a great day tomorrow…this is truly an ‘american holiday’…eat till you burst, burp and ask for seconds..or thin may be in, but fat is where it’s at..

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I Left My Balls on Her Seat

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , on July 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

and in the cupholder…the very tasty MM of El Portal, she who goes thru boyfriends on a weekly basis, plays tennis next door at the Club Antigueno…the errant orbs drift over the fence and just like a funny kind of Easter Egg Hunt, either I or the dogs collect ’em..she was bangin’ away this morning…oops, wrong simile…and I had a bag o’ balls…ergo..’left em in her Jeep and I’ll collect the kisses/hugs later.

ah…yes, John Rexer, who said not to drink the Joven Ilegal mezcal too fast…I’m not…but the danger level is getting closer…what a product!..compared to Quetzalteca,  it’s like comparing Hell’s Angel meth to pharmaceutical blow, HavaTampa’s to Montecristo #1’s, Kansas ditchweed to Maui Wowie..well, you get the picture, right?

a small change but one in the right direction…the ‘approved by CamTur’ stamp now changed to ‘recommended by CamTur’…a stronger word…maybe the turistas will get it…or maybe not…what’s up with the matching T-shirts? yeah, it’s a communal/bonding thing….let ’em walk the fire coals with Tony Robbins instead and get their tootsies burnt…’heard that Safe Passage, of whom I read a weekly schedule recently, just scored a 2 million dollar coup this year…yeah, $2M…the ‘schedule’ was mostly in transport/dinners and meetings…o yeah, save the kids…right..

Music? Piano Mike is back in Chicago..leaving Ron Fortin/Adan the Cuban Magical Pianist and who else? TLG and the Mezcalitos, I guess..with all these ‘Christian’ groups, the town’s rocknroll/party hearty atmosphere is taking a hit…maybe bring back Black Sabbath and some satanic rock…or how about an LDS group, the ‘Stormin’ Mormons’?….whilst reading about the town’s patron saint, i was surprised to read that St. James made an appearance to Joseph Smith(the Morman dude)…what the hell was he taking? anyone who spun off stories of golden tablets and an angel named Moroni…is moroni plural for morons?

Peter the G in town on Sunday..or was it Saturday? looked like he was(Saturday)doing real estate stuff aka ‘showing properties’…

Miss M, whilst here for lunch, noticed some of the Mayan carvings…said that one looked like a ‘dick’…’had to ask if she’d ever seen a dick with a smiley face…

rocket dick

 

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Drinking Outside The Box

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , on July 22, 2012| Leave a Comment »

you had to be there, I s’pose: a pickup parked outside of Cafe No Se about 5pm on Saturday, Michael Tallon, John Rexer and a couple of workers schlepping in small cardboard boxes of the latest batch of Ilegal Mezcal…’caught up in the frenzy, I missed if each box had four or six bottles of Joven but there was a helluva lot eventually stacked in the back. There’s been a drought of this in town…you know, those wacky Mexicans and their manana attitude? not really: John’s just created a monster that consumes this stuff world-wide and since each batch is hand-crafted, etc…have the labels been changed? they look spiffier/more elegant….”don’t drink it too fast” he said to me(several times)hell, it’s still sitting on the counter, unopened.

yet, another Beauty Pageant yesterday! last weekend we had the Queen of the PNC or some kinda police pageant and they(the contestants) kinda resembled…ack, how to be kind/nice? (don’t)..The real Miss Antigua pageant attracted the cream of the crop and what’s left isn’t A-List material. Yesterday, gathered around the Park and on the sidewalks for photo-ops, were the contestants for Miss Bombero and her court..we’re scraping the bottom of the beauty barrel, folks.

It’ s been two days of gustatory pleasure, which is why I ain’t been around at night…Friday Santiago’s suberb Tecpan ribs on the barbie and yesterday the most xlnt lasagna from Pan E Fantasia, Deliciosa’s replacement…someone said that Luciano made it and I thought that Pavarotti had died…The DelightfulMiss M and I made a dent in it, whoever the hell Luciano is…’flavor-wise it reminded me of Angie’s gorgonzola raviolis…if it’s pork-related, contact Senor Durham…jamesdurham2@gmail….maybe, as with Mary Kay/Herbalife, maybe I can get some kinda rake-off going…Herbalife/Getalife? another Utah-based Mormon multi-level thing, here in town? yep…in the El Jaulon building. Who the hell is buying from them? what was the name of the older MLM hustle? ah, Amway!…..ever have one of your ‘acquaintances’ call up with the ‘pitch’?…they gave ’em a really good script to use, as I remember.

the town packed with people, even…tourists! yes, foreigners/auslanders with shorts, cameras and bewildered packs of a dozen or more. Andy, our superb mime, doin’ his number on 5th avenida, the usual crowd of 50 giggling. He’s good…drop a 5 or ten q note in his tip jar, eh? zo? wonder which Beauty Queen group will be posing today? and the Big Question…will Da Mayor march at the front of the parade on Wednesday, as usual?

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River in Trouble City!

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , , , on June 27, 2012| Leave a Comment »

alert…huge alert!….Rexer’s outa Ilegal Mezcal….a few bottles on the back shelf at Cafe No Se and the promised shipment outa Mexico?  right…manana y manana…are we living in a 3rd World Country? o, that’s right…we are..like my local printer: ‘tomorrow, tomorrow….right…

La Pena Del Sol? jammed/packed..party of 75 plus assordid others…125 diners…Lori Shea’s group(birthday)upstairs in a corner, the band jamming below…Mike the X and others…’never seen La Pena this packed…Bill at the door, big smile…dos Reilly’s quiet, El Gato Negro with the music up, half/packed…Ocelot’s happy hour packed…ah, TM of the Beige Bomb? reports that the repairs are done except for one tiny detail…a headlight is out…so…if anyone can find a headlight for  a ’90 series T-Bird or Cougar, call in and getcher reward..

Sobremesa open on a regularly closed Tuesday? yep…Cashbar closed..Sangre lo mismo except that Djinn(across the street next to Cashbar)is moving into some retail space of Sangre….hey, cashflow..for a change..

weird stuff #4…checked the stats for this silly blog…weird…people in Malaysia,  India, Indonesia and Tunisia checking in…yeah, Denmark…but the East? por que? Netherlands? yep…probably the Dutch Boy who stuck his finger in the bull dyke and saved Holland…drum roll..

per Alex of Fusion, the expansion next door(old 709 space) is ‘that close’ to being signed off…gotta meeting with Da Mayor soon…maybe next week/month…waitaminute..next week IS next month…the tenants are ready to rock/make $$…can Da Mayor do something? whata bout the Consejo? o, that’s right..he fired a bunch of them…this town…

still haven’t eaten at the new chinese place, Wokco…the menu’s on the table and it looks enticing..next week, the latest version of Our Man up on Amazon.com…lotta additions: decided that Top Five Bars oughta be Top Ten, for example…too many great dives not to include/write about…plus more light hearted froth(only in Antigua stuff)…this town…love it…earthquakes, lava flows, rains…wtf? beats the hell outa any other place on this planet…

no f%$#@! mezcal? this is an emergency of the highest…er, well…dire straits…even worse…our ‘live music’ scene….Nelson Lunding plays a gig in the City tomorrow night and then departs for two months…Ignacio, our Cuban virtuoso, having lost a leg to diabetes…gonzo…Seth Monfort, the outstanding pianist…gonzo..Ron Fortin, sax player? adios? who’s left? Adan the Cuban? Mercedes? it’s not lookin’ good for stuff other than DJ’s..Mike the X and Los Mescalitos? yep…they’re still here…Cafe No Se..alas, Caffe Bourbon..no breakfast trade and no dinners…even Tacodiscontento outdrawing them and that’s not a record to brag about..’sneezin’ and wheezin? yep…the elegant Victoria C back at El Reino del Jade…sneezin’ like me and a bunch of tuk-tuk drivers…it’s that time of the year, they say…the cold that keeps on keepin’ on…hello, paper towels…ahchoo!… 

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Save The Pagan Babies!

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , , , on April 2, 2012| Leave a Comment »

personal stuff, aside from Elmore Leonard’s book of the same title..Wife #2 who went to an exclusive Cathlick day school in Carmel (classmates with Patty Hearst)actually had to go around and knock on doors in the o so snooty environs of Carmel and solicit donations for ‘pagan babies’…she kill me if she reads this but the odds are slim/nun..the headline refers to a new chapter in the little/silly booklet, now in its umpteeth version…Franklin/Asgreenasitgets.org has this section, at least for the next few weeks…I’ve been kinda down on a lotta NGO’s here but after interviewing Houses to Homes, my position/opinion is changing…

RT2 and Mary at O’lot..she laughed when I told her that my phone was set on ‘vibrate’ and i carry it in a front pocket…hey, at my age..that’s the only buzz i’m gonna get..

Ripped again? or still?…John Rexer, Mr Ilegal Mezcal hisself..snagged his shirt on a table..ripped..get it? matched his levis..the semi-usual crowd of Happy Hour schmoozers/boozers..this was the 2nd time I’ve seen John in the daytime in the last four years..what that means or implies, I have no idea…draw your own conclusions/dotted lines..our wandering bar goddess, Carla the B? off to the Lake and entering the employ of a new guru in town…please, let this work..’having spent a goodly/godly portion of my life in/around ‘gurus’ of all stripes, persuasions and creeds, I’m…let’s just say..naw, cross your fingers for her..Barb the K’s surgery is actually scheduled for the 9th…cross fingers or whatever else works..and come back here, pronto..Travel Menu’s kitchen is ‘under repair’ for a day or two..so, if you’re..etc..wait til wednesday..the New ‘Original Antigua City Tour?’…looking good…thought i saw Bull Durham riding this morning and later, about 5ish,a full load of turistas rolling along 2nd calle…go Juan Carlos!…seriously, this is an xlnt tour..cheap,fun and chockfullafacts..40q for and hour and a half? I’d pay that to watch the monkeys ….k…starts at 9am or so, in front of the Cathedral/parque..

try as I might, tomorrow there’s no escaping the ‘jezus on a stick’ thing…the little finca where i reside(live)has the first station on the west wall.showtime is 3pm..o boy..if i called first thing, could the farmacia deliver some serious meds? prescription? we don’t need a stinkin’ prescription..i’m re-reading Treasure of the Sierra Madre so if i go off on a tangent…so what? better than going off on a lark, eh?

the most xlnt Claudia #1 of Da Vinci seen about, before going to work(so to speak)at 6 or so…one of usual three Claudias is on some kinda sabbatical per family stuff..so? there’s #1 and that’s all I care about…call me, please..make my Razr vibrate, just one more time..

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Coldfinger or Goldfinger?

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2012| Leave a Comment »

some of each…Jason of Lava and mostly outa Siberia, back in town…great stories of 50 below zero stuff…yeah, it pays well. The only…well, not the ‘only’ thing is that you gotta fly in/out on those charmingly retro planes like Antonovs and Tupolevs…’having done a few routes on those pieces of Russian crap…the first time was charming..after that it was suicidal aka stupid..i suggested that he learn to fly in the rear of the plane, given that most crashes are nose first..hmm

a relatively quiet night for bars/restaurants…every one doin’ a table or two..yeah, everyone..Robt de Oro reporting a mishap with important documents and a month’s setback for ‘progress’…will this ever be over and WTF was Mr Security with his CZ 9mm? snoozing, apparently…Robto…missed you at O’lot…had to con Mike into buying me a cheap cocktail..Scott S and Lori  huddled, talking biz…and a giant thank you..Scott, for the compliments re the silly little booklet…and no..s’posed to be out today…figure tomorrow and yes, i’ll be going around tomorrow evening, dropping off copies and collecting $$..gotta..either that or run up more tabs..being a starving writer might sound romantic to some…take it from me..it sucks.

for a great place to hide out, try the Tretto Coffee Shop upstairs in the Jaulon building..Circus Bar, Casa de Jade…if you sit inside, in the corner, no one…repeat..no one will ever see you..I dunno how long they’ll stay in businesss, given their location, poor service and such but if being out of sight works…this is the place.

reports of a fairly sophisticated burglary downtown…a silver shop near the farmacia Roca..the perps broke in, cleaned it  out and left their own padlock on the door to fool the folks in the morning…speaking of a ‘sophisticated burglary’, a certain downtown place has been slammed with a multa/fine for…a, not having a license to play music and b, exceeding the decibels(sound levels)..the number of some 10000q has been thrown around..given the other ‘problems’..this saga will continue for a while.

as mentioned, INGUAT with a new leader has dispensed with the services of the very good/talented Walter Fischer…the first guy to make a difference/improvement and they let him go? alas, Guatemala..wake  up..tourism is the only bright spot in this economy…you’ve blown the 2012/end of the world thing that Mexico is cashing in on…WTF? Mexico is spending 52 million fucking dollars on this and what is Guatemala doing? firing the good people?  one doesn’t know whether to weep or cry..hell, have another screwdriver and fuggedaboutit..’it’s Chinatown, Jake’…narco bucks, more than the banks can launder, find their way into this town…ooh, surprise! look around at the many business’ that survive without business…how and why? gee..the good and great www.guatemala-times.com online publication that i occasionally write for…going under…have a desire to own a publication that dares to tell the truth? go there..ask Barb..no, i have no idea of the  price..hey! John Rexer/Michael Tallon…upgrade La Cuadra and go digital..gimme a case of Ilegal Mezcal for the referral..gawd, imagine a case of Ilegal Mezcal…the mind boggles..and i don’t care if its even the ‘Joven’…it’s all good.

the VMB?(Venetian Masked Ball)? moving forward, day by day..more posters/publicity being done…Gabi the Superb working wonders: one of the most talented business women i’ve ever known..sign up, buy tickets..masks available here and  there   gabialtman@rogers.com

for the ‘chisme factor’, no..we’re not..she’s a visual feast and how the hell PV managed to let her go…idiots, one and all..sometimes having too much money makes one complacent..BTDT, to my despair..Allen Garcia doing the evening shift at O’lot…one of our better bartenders/personalities…hasta manana…tis the weak end, fin de semana..

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