Posts Tagged ‘Lava’

those of you who qualified for the ‘all expenses paid’ tour in that lovely South Asian country will know exactly what I’m talking about…mold, dampness et cetera..is this f$#@! rain ever gonna quit? is this the wettest September in memory?

o well…shut up…there’s firewood and whiskey…Lava’s 2 year anniversary is Tuesday night…’free booze’ per Shaun, so get there early and swill on….Mike D says he’s coming back to Antigua in a week or so…Reid? who knows? but there is a restored Land Rover for sale, out by Joe’s Grill….60’s vintage (no bullet holes)…

yeah, the ‘Corn Dog’ idea…it could work, given the Bud Babes…

so, the ‘new and improved’ printers, Copia Fiel? a few ‘delays’….right/thanks/if it’s cured by Wednesday, then it’s on to Sophos with part of the crew (HBT/Jackson)for ‘show and tell’…if not…PriceMart and the usual or a postponement til next week…see, I’m learning patience, not always easy in this dysfunctional country.

and no, I haven’t written a damn thing lately…I’m bailing on the ‘reporter’ gig….tired of it, the photos, the deadlines and the very little ($) returns…the books are selling, if only on-line, for the time being…enough to upgrade my brand of liquor..that and the rains have ‘gotten to me’…can’t even summon up any enthusiam for Lori Shea’s dance party on next Saturday, much less the idea of another croquet match..

every think about how many bars have gone under in the last year? El Muro, el Caminante, Riki’s, Cargo Room, et al? this is a vicious town for biz….even Dishwater, but they were doomed from the beginning, for many reasons…Papas and Beer, La Rambla…has the rain stopped? let me go outside and raise my finger? hmm..and a final postscript….it’s a slow time for Antigua…September/October, with the next ‘big event’ being the Day of the Dead (November)….so? there’s a bread company with a great name and the chance for huge publicity…why not a beauty contest for Miss Bimbo? I’d gladly volunteer, given my vast experience with bimbos…




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So….’coming back from the coast with HBT and there’s a vacant commercial building by the highway….the seat belts are off, the beers are open and the latest ‘agricultural product’ is circulating, altho the Canadians in back aren’t participating. What the hell! they’re riding with the Legendary HBT at 80 mph and they’re scared?  please…anyway, there’s this could be spiffy drive up/thru place…mirrors, bright yellow, fresh paint and I’m thinking: Guatemalans eat corn every %$#@! day, right? in one way, shape form or whatever…and they also eat a ton/shit-load of hot dogs…so? stay with me, here…in PriceSmart, in the City, are packaged/frozen corn dogs…why not a corn dog outlet? Hire a few of the Gallo/Bud Babes (and where in the hell have they been recently?)to pose in their very spiffy outfits, slurping on a corn dog or two?  I tell ‘ya, it’s a ‘biz op’ waiting to happen..

so…full moon tonight? yep…the ‘Harvest moon’ altho what crop to be harvested now remains to be seen…and Lava’s 2 year anniversary is next Tuesday….free booze!…..another ‘start up success’ in this town, of which many are few and far between. 

the ever marvelous Marbel and ‘action’ Jackson are attempting to start a band…she on drums, he on guitar…let’s hope,eh? Travel Menu reports that this Saturday, Capt Gerry et al will be doing a 6pm show…for the Geritol/Depends crowd, I guess..

Ay Robot!…Dan’s great comic book/record outlet…looking for a new space/rental, something long term…Angie…well, ask Dan…’Soy Milk’…does that translate into spanish as ?

yeah, the wacked out Czech guy….goes from crazy to crazier, every day…wft? and big Mac is back….89 days til the visa rolls over.. Jim H, from somewhere up north, thinking of moving back here…xlnt! road trips! one of these days, Mike D and Reid C should be rolling in….and the ‘season’ begins again….’chemo!’ that’s a joke, which only Reid could answer. And no, I haven’t seen Cindy around…’lost her other job, last i heard…lookin’ for another…and yes, I’m as sick of this gray/drizzly weather as you are…feels like oregoon/oregon…go Corn Dogs!

Harvest Moon!


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what was the old ‘Riki’s’ space on 4th Avenida  has been totally buffed out, from a new roof on down, per the owners putting up the $$….rumor has it that the new tenant will be: A, Taco Bell, B, jade store, C, spanish school, D, travel agency, new bar/restaurant or E, all of the above…’B’…go figure…

Lava packed, Ocelot empty…the Butt Patrol came around earlier this week (Health Dept)and slammed Whiskey Den for people smoking on the patio…ergo, if you’re puffing it’s either upstairs or in the street..where you can suck some diesel smoke.

Casbah’s little bar? packed! Ricardo’s Tabacos y Vinos? Lex Cargo  working there, two nights a week…..stopped in at Hector’s…sign on the chalkboard reads ‘#1 on TripAdvisor’ …if that’s the case,it’s old info from when Hector owned/ran it…six people and and an expensive cocktail (I needed change for the tuk-tuk)…44q for a shot of Stoli? i didn’t bother looking at the menu, after that..44q? at least, at Dishwater, I get music..and change.

YES! local copies of ‘A Year of Driving Dangerously’ finally out of the printer!…5 tonight, 20 tomorrow and a new print run for September, along the with the September edition of ‘Our Man in Antigua’…with all the latest updates unlike Lonely Planet and TripAdvisor…they’re good but behind the curve/times…

and La Rumba, the short-lived ceviche place? didn’t have a business licence(or a clue)…and the new back garden of Sobremesa? smashing and that’s where customers are gravitating (going) to…who knew? it works…how much longer will Papas y Beer and 13 continue to pay their rents/suppliers? or Mango Verde? the venerable La Antigua Vineria, on south 5th ave, next to San Jose el Viejo? great new paint job, changes, upgrades.,..Bepe just doesn’t quit..looks great!

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ever hear of ‘cascade failure?’…tis where when one system (automotive, computer or plumbing)gets upgraded…like the new pump in the fountain that caused the older pvc joints to go out, the recent upgrades to my plumbing system on the finca brought a series of ‘breakdowns’, like the faucets in the bathroom…’having been a slum lord in a previous life, I offered to ‘do it myself’, assuming that they were tools to be had…as if…but, a few days later, Joaquin the older guy  with the shotgun at night, brought me a rusty 8 inch crescent wrench (with pride, mind you) yeah, I barked the knuckles and the faucets weren’t fixable but all is well and I’m ‘flushed with pride.’

why were there three PNC (cops) parked outside Casbah last night, about ten? somebody get refused admission? a shakedown? didn’t see any AK-47’s or such being waved around…the town, last night? Fusion/Mamma’s? empty…Micho’s kinda medium packed, B5 doing a giant party of 25 or so (smiles on the waiter’s faces), El Cazadore Italiano doing SRO, no seats/tables, Luciano fuming in the kitchen but cranking the dishes out the door..

thanks to Rich O, I got the explanation for the massive hordes flocking into Ocelot/Lava…tis the end of the spanish school/volunteer cycle, the girls are going back to school in the You Ess of A soon and they’re having one last fling or two or three..the blondes who have found(or been found)by their latin lovers, aka tutors, will have to say goodbye…the LL’s will have to face the fack…fack? ‘fact that they’re not going along, not getting a green card and…o well, love…

the short-lived Pit Stop experiment is changing/morphing into a new kinda Lava outreach station for families/kids, with a burger and hot dog menu…maybe a play area, unlike the wild after hours parties that were so wild , if only for a while…yeah, that was me last night,in the Ocelot having a pink faggot cosmopolitan…

Peter the G! aka Glover, shepherding a newly (same day)arrival of real estate clients thru the maze of Bodegona, thru the pillow sections and so forth…a full service’ kinda real estate agent, not like the rest of the lazy pack in this town….reports of the Marvelous Marbel, working at Reilly’s La Esquina…nope, I haven’t seen her but….and the September version of Our Man in Antigua posted on amazon.com this morning…lotta changes…and no, the long-promised local edition of ‘A Year of Driving Dangerously’ isn’t out…%$#@! local printer…

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so, I’m trying out the new scanner and for once, read the manual. I get to the part that reads…”emits low level magnetic flux…if you feel abnormalities…move away…’  where? Monterrico? as if i could feel any more ‘abnormalities…

and yes, there was a shooting on the Calzada Santa Lucia last night and no, she didn’t die…shot in the left arm and went to that palace of health care in San Felipe (no water, no toilet paper, etc)…did you hear about the rape at the Convent? a ‘Cloister f…k’

and yes, there’s a cattle call for female bartenders at the new Reilly’s 3….bilingual, of course and no, I have no idea about the signage/license…since it was last WokCo and before that La Esquina, will it be the ‘Wokin’ Esquina’?

thanks to all who remarked on the new book, The Year of Driving Dangerously…tis out on http://www.createspace.com/4370297 and on Amazon.com as of today….met with my local printer re: copies, cover and costs…he’s dreamin’, of course.

‘heard that the go-kart races last weekend were lame…lame in the sense that there were NO spandex babes, which is the only reason I go…and spent all day in the City yesterday with HBT and Dr. J…Cemaco, WalMart, Pricemart….I hate the City but the babes were babelicious….and yes, the new brakes on the Ford got broken in…’never sucked so much asbestos smoke in my life..ah, Two Speed Tommy..full on and brakes to the floor..

our maid, the chunky little devil who can’t read? walked off yesterday but returned today…guess that having an unemployed boyfriend and a marginal job is better than..etc…replacements are being called forth…

party of 6 at Papa Town…surprise…I figure either a ‘creditor’s meeting or the bankruptcy/work it out committee..’

Is Murray ever coming back? i’m having doubts….what for? the Jeep that HBT pays the monthly storage fees?

Alabama Bob says he’s coming back…several bars are having minor celebrations, in anticipation..

El Muros’ sign is down…last I heard from Max was some story about some ex-Presidential chef going in there…right…and a new ‘fish and chips’ place on 5th Ave Sur, before the ever-dead Mito’s…Pescado Loco and supposedly they have malt vinegar…that stuff, when applied liberally, kills the taste of the fish/chips…do they serve it up on old newspapers? you tell me..it’s a perfect evening and a perfect end of a great day…is this our ‘canicula?’…

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maybe it’s the burning of the cane fields, providing an inversion layer in the valley…..I’d rather be sucking cane 2nd hand smoke than CO2/sulphur from smog sources but the evening air/light was magic tonight…soft, a bit hazy, perfect shirt-sleeve temps..yeah, the rains will come again, the plants will offer up a hallelujah or two but for now, el perfecto!

‘the plot sickens, Part Two’….tales of a missing/unaccounted 9 grand +…absentee owner sends monthly payments which don’t get paid monthly…causing some grief here and there…

13, the ‘new concept’ bar in what was Braulios/The Lounge and so on?….uh…find a concept that works…let’s see, what’s been tried/failed? “Ladies Drink Free”, ‘we’ll pay you to drink (El Muro)….you tell me…Ocelot and Lava have a simple mousetrap…5q drinks from 5-7…check out the patio/balcony…it works..

We lost one of the 90 day visitors today…’Bob’ of the size 15 or 16 shoes…Hogan flies out in the morning: one by one, the crew that adds some variety to this burg is leaving…even John Korte pulled the plug, by moving to Panama. Hap/Joe  off to Belize soon, hopefully with better luck than Alabama Bob, who was refused entrance (his backpack was too small)

good news from the Motagua…gold found from a different source, even though the 4X jap truck did get stuck(worse road than Semuc Champey, if that’s possible)…and temporary email problems…the tech heads are on it…who knows why? more password problems, maybe stemming from the earlier breach of yahoo…like a dumbshit, i used the same password for everything..duh..

and the proposed run to find the lost Mayan carving and Puerto San Jose..? put off for a week, per some scholastic difficulties…fine…one of the newer riders asked me for a comparison between the strip clubs of PSJ vs. Joco….’had to admit that I haven’t dived..so to speak..into Joco…ah, ‘field research!’

and Jer…old pal of Havana/the Del Rey and Vegas…


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Bodogona has Flor de Cana 7 yr old rum!…that, plus the 1.75 liter jug brought in from Nicaragua today has me in a minor state of bliss…look, I’m a simple guy, ok?

check out La Cuadra’s latest issue: page 16 for Frank of Nim P’ot’s Top Ten Reasons to visit Guatemala…I’m kinda fond of ‘most laws not enforced’…send in your suggestions for next month’s Top Ten…this is fun..speaking of fun..


Jason of Lava’s birthday bash tonight…a roast pig and a lamb…fabulous…the usual scoundrels plus a few new additions….the Gang of Four goes fishing in the morning…telephone calls at 4am…’Wake up!”

this may well be my favorite time of year…the purple blossoms of the jacaranda trees, the purple of bouganvillea vines, the purple bunting hanging from the windows around town…warm days, perfect nights..

guess who’s back? Pat F…..g Farrell!…been gone almost a year and shows up? yep…welcome back…he mentioned visiting Don Marco in  the pen…remember that FBI bust in the park? Don M gets out in September but he’s restricted from traveling for two years, but as I said..’hey, he’s got his brother’s passport, eh?’…and yes, the PNC in action last night! caught a 16 yr old perp(the other 6 got away)trying to crack into Gaia..upper 5th, ok? if they were and the cops think so, this is/was the gang responsible for the 11 or so break-ins around town recently…bypassing alarms, eh?  hmm..who used to work for an alarm installation company?

the ex-restaurant Panchoy on 6th ave sur, by dos Reilly’s? major renovations…its a big  place and going up against Las Cebollinas? no  worries from the better place, Da Vinci (my favorite per decor) who is going the ‘pizza-pizza route’…why? a class joint? I guess pizza is better than nothing..same could be said about Christophe but I’m not going there..and another shop opening next to dos Reilly’s..what? who knows? probably a travel agency/spanish school/pizza/mayan crafts…getcher t-shirts here, altho I see that more than one clothing store is going the ‘50% off’ route…

the very elegant Catherine D, dining alone at El Sabor Tiempo…when she mentioned rabbit stew I had to mention ‘Thumper’…I left before she threw her wine at me..and yes, the March issue of Our Man is up on Amazon.com….getcher Christmas shopping done early (I need the $$)a few more outlets in town and thanks to the recent influx of tourists it’s moving…thank god..where’s the Flor of Dasha? haven’t seen her on the streets nor seen any sign that she’s opened a new store…damn..she is  a ‘visual treat’…my Flor? on the counter, waiting for a refill…have a great Thursday, the end of February and so on..

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