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Posts Tagged ‘McAfee’

Truth, Stranger than Fiction

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , on December 10, 2012| Leave a Comment »

so….McAfee…sold his life story already, as predicted herein..titled “Running in the  Background”…..jeez…the guy says he just wants to “settle down to whatever normal life…etc” for someone who’s been doing guns, drugs, hookers and hallucinogenic bath salts, ‘normal’ is not the word I’d pick but…I still expect him to show up in the Park one of these days or at a few bars…’heard that he tried to check in at Bruno’s in Rio Dulce but it was full…yeah, he’d fit in with that crowd easily.

the Manos de Christine thing on Sunday apparently was a raging success…no slug fests, just mellow people…sorry I missed it..it’s like I missed Victoria singing Saturday/Sunday night at Cafe Flor….’just can’t take the staying up til 4-5am stuff any more…hey, it wasn’t my fault, ok?

‘found some photos on the web of what appears to be Mike Donley’s long lost boulder/monolith in Bilbao/El Baul…we’ll know wednesday, when the Cougar Boogers get goin’..it’s only been 40 years since he was there, ok?

‘seem to have lost a reader who thought that I was drunk when I wrote, a dirty old man and so on…yep, nailed again…read the disclaimer/about pages for any disclosures, eh?

ah..Volcan Agua! blazing fires around the top….started Sunday morning, gets bigger every day…what to do? bucket brigades?…right…a long long string of garden hoses from Ciudad Viejo? what’s gonna happen up there? who cares and who’s responsible? nadie/no one…how do you say ‘Smokey the Bear’ in spanish?  if Smokey shows up, he’s bbq material.

370px-Bilbao_1

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4am at the Pistol Club

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , on December 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

yeah, drink til 3 and piss til 4am…’not sure what the occasion was but around the corner this morning there was bad drums and fuzzy bass guitars til then…no one in the ‘hood’ slept…’might’ve been the Feast of the Mackerel Conception or whatever but after the Burning of the Devil Friday, last night/morning, I was in no shape to go to the Manos de Christine for the BBQ….I WAS the bbq today..’still am…stick a fork in me, cuz I’m done…and of course, the usual  Sunday football game at the stadium just over the hill…more drums…are a lot of folks hearing impaired in this country? about 3am, i thought about letting off a few rounds but no one would/could’ve heard it…even with an AK with tracer ammo…nada, zip, SOL, dude..
i guess that in San Felipe, permits/licenses for such aren’t necessary (the music, not the guns)..

yeah…McAfee will be with us for a month…maybe more, maybe less…’wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t show up in Antigua, once he gets over being ‘stressed out’…he’s perfect for the boys in the park and some of the bars…’heard today that …nope, can’t talk about it..lo siento..

great..now there’s fireworks..mortar bombs goin’ off nearby…I suspect that Monday will be even slower than usual (and that’s saying something)..and the kids..no, skids are greased for 12/12/12’s departure of the 4 Gringos Road Trip up to Rey-hoo…and a big round of applause for James aka Bull/Santiago Durham..a week outa the hospital and he walked to/fro La Bodegona today…not on his skateboard, but walked..and the level of the rum is getting perilously low…wait! there’s wine!…will this day ever end? will I get a good nights sleep? who cares (I do, dammit)…

gun control? use both hands and if the band comes back around…

gun control means using both hands

gun control means using both hands

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Out! Fault!

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , on December 8, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Sometimes, living next to tennis courts, is like being married..the same shouts…no love-40, either.

yeah…the newspaper that proclaimed McAfee’s deportation yesterday…oops…Da Judge gave him a few more days to get it together before they ship his addled carcass back to Beleeze…with the dye job and the bad photos, it’s looks like he’s been on a very long and thoroughly whacked out road trip…or boat trip..

tomorrow? an NGO that I know nothing about, Los Manos de Christine, doing a 25q BBQ at 11am…#35 Avenida Norte, at the Lutheran Center…the only ‘manos’ that I’m familiar with are those of Carmen and that’s about every two weeks..and magic.

Red Power? not…tis the brand of some funky dead-ass batteries imported from Red China…yeah, they’re cheap and half the price of Duracells…don’t go there…

The ‘fix’ in is for us at Take-a-Lick Abaj on Wednesday, as long as Hill Billy Tom doesn’t run us into the back of some cane truck on the way to Ray-hoo…a guide, maybe a cop or two on a moto…too bad Reid isn’t back yet…a lot of the usual ‘suspects’, i.e, the winter crowd of pale white gringos are slowly re-appearing in town..Reid’s excuse is that his son hasn’t graduated yet from Police Academy II or 3…Reid! bring a dart gun and a lotta darts…PCP is recommended…for dealing with the 800 lb sow in the pen with the Land Rover. Any darts left over can be used around the park.

Alright…Civic Improvement time and good PR for Guatemala’s badly tarnished international image…the idea of the tuk-tuk races didn’t fly..and the idea of staged shoot-outs between narcos and the PNC hasn’t grabbed anyone…nor the nude chocolate mud-wrestling events…god, where’s the imagination? feature this…there’s a national/international bread company that sells here…and with a contest for someone babelicious, some press coverage and TV cameras, Antigua could get some decent PR….I’m volunteering to be a judge, for as any of my friends will testify, if anyone is an expert in such, tis me…ta da! Miss Bimbo!

Brenda aka Brianna

Brenda aka Brianna

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Lawyers, Guns and John McAfee

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Guatemala, where the strange is just another dose of the daily news and the weird is cannon fodder…no mudder, fodder…I published this last night and this morning in one local paper, the headline read that he’d already been deported, back to Belize…no other confirmation, anywhere…

http://www.examiner.com/article/lawyers-guns-and-john-mcafee?cid=db_articles&no_cache=1354933329

so…? so what? who the hell knows?  or cares, you ask…in a conversation this morning with a local business man, i made a heavy side-bet that…if he (McAfee)were back in Belize (or not) that his phone is ringing with offers from Hollyweird to ‘do’ the story…c’mon…think about it…lawyers, guns,drugs, money, hookers and bizarre behavior? is this not a description of half of Congress, Oprah, Phil Spector and so on? my bet was that within six months we’re looking at a made for TV movie, shot on location…oops..wrong word/connotation…’filmed on location’…and the Belizean sleazoids will sign on as ‘consultants’…oh…who to play the staring role? that whacked out person, likewise ‘eccentric and unstable’…Tom Cruise…life, as usual, defeats the efforts of comedy, art and insanity..pick your actress..Demi Moore, Pam Anderson, Seka…obscure reference #2

yep..missed it again…the ol burning of the Devil…(set for 5pm)..every f$#@! year i think, you know…you really ought to go see it/shoot photos..but as I said earlier to Nicole…i’ve seen the Devil already, in so many times/places/hallucinations, that once more really isn’t going to make a helluva difference..Nixon, for example…LBJ…Tom DeLay…peyote, DMT, mescaline..cha cha cha…Jimmy Swaggert..no, I never really liked acid..

the streets were somewhat empty, somewhat full..5th ave, first block north of the park, doing fine…Casbah/Studio 35 looking good, early..Red’s dead, that new place, La Velada on 1st Calle, with the Spor Bar sign? closed…oops..not good..4th calle,the golden gulch? Sobremesa slammed, Neils’ Michos the same, Tartines? Francois, at the door, looking lonely…Fusion/Mammas? slow…DaVinci? two..yes, 2 tables!…the road/highway screw up at the entrance to town is likewise screwing up a lot of city folks who don’t want to deal with even more of a traffic problem..perfect for Christmas, eh? 

speaking of Christmas, i’ve decided what i want…a real stocking stuffer…Santa, you bastard…come thru for me  this year, goddammit..I’ve been good…and i can produce signed statements, if you want…

is she hot or what?

James aka Santiago/Bull Durham? looking 110% better! color, gaining weight and walking(gingerly aka slowly)…great news…and the ‘pork chop/rib connection? back on, again..briefly…place your orders pronto…jamesdurham2@gmail.com for next week (I’m in for chops)

is she hot?…yeah…if I can find a really really big stocking..’got the fireplace…and if Santa(you stingy bastard) comes thru…

the impending road trip to Take a Lick Abaj? not quite set in stone…more like set in Silly Putty but we’re talking about a time/place for leaving next Wednesday…progress, Antigua style.. 

DSCF9531

 

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Behind The Green Door

Posted in Guatemala, Honduras, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , , on December 5, 2012| Leave a Comment »

late night update….John McAfee,aka The Fugitive, arrested for illegal entry into Guatemala…oops..’is there some way we can work this out?’ yeah..back date his passport, take the $$ and say it was an administrative error…either that or the ‘authorities’ have decided to take his $$ or tie a can to his ass and get him outa town..if he’s been arrested, where do they take him? the same jail as Portillo and Adolfo(Da Mayor of Antigua)…this story never quits..

“Yep! But Antigua is far from being an ideal world, it is one saturated with same businesses, plagued by delusion and obstinate behavioral disorders. The typical has been… but what gorgeous views and climate!”

I told him I was gonna plagiarize him…ah…twilight time in town, one of my favorite Antigua moments…Sunrise is good, before the air gets hit with exhaust fumes but there’s a gorgeous sunset tonight…flaming orange cotton balls in the sky…gotta go outside and take another look…the light is suffused/diffused, there’s no breeze and the birds gather in the trees before winging home. The hot dog vendors in the l ittle park in Manchen push their carts away for the night. This place is paradise and the sunset is slowly fading…what was orange is now pink and gray.

Rich Neel and Marian, on the bike…a big bike and not one of those little dinky 125 cc motos…thanks, Korey D, for the analogy of McAfee and Phil Spector…so, is it  pronounced MAC a fee or mCAFEE? the trend seems to favor the first…o boy…welcome to Guatemala. His 20 yr old twist is the niece of his attorney…the change from gray to dark brown hair/beard? shoulda hired an image consultant..shoulda gone to Honduras/Roatan, where if you’re over 65 yo never go to jail, for anything..he’d be perfect for Roatan…Coke Island, guns, parties..

Josh the guy with the pop bottle creations…Antigua style kinda guy…the sunset is over, the sky faded to gray…walk the streets of 4th calle/5th ave at twilight, catch the aromas of various cafes and the little latina lolitas out for a stroll….Central Parque and the lovers in the corners.

Kudos to Shaun of Ocelot for capturing the  zeitgeist of the moment: ‘McAfee Antivirus’ shooters of some kinda pink drink…yeah, I had two.  My RAM disappeared and I guess I’m virus free…probably oughta defrag my hard drive next…what a perfect evening in Paradise! are we lucky or what?

one last thought or question: location is key for business and parking is at a premium here…its either on the street or in some outa the way hidden parking lot…there’s no valet parking either…does this explain some of El Cazadore Italiano’s ongoing success? parking on both sides of the street…and also Epicure? just wondering?

oh…The Green Door reference…not the Marilyn Chambers porno movie…shot in Sausalito/SF…my abode has massive green metal doors at the entrance..and…more TA stuff (and not tits/ass)

http://www.examiner.com/article/behind-the-scenes-of-takalik-abaj-part-one

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Interpoland

Posted in Guatemala, Living in Antigua, Restaurants, Shopping, Travel, central america, guatemala, tagged , , , , on December 4, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Gautemala, the haven of choice for folks on the run: Senor McAfee, late of Belize, something about dogs/poison/guns/murder/cha cha cha, seen in Rio Dulce yesterday and now in the City, ‘lawyered up’ with one of Guate’s ex Attorney Generals and scheduled for a press conference in the morning….it’ll probably go like this…”you know, it might look bad that I left town and came to Guatemala but this country has a reputation for fair play and justice.”…drum roll…from what was an estimated 100 million bucks a few years ago is now somewhere south of  4 mill…”Guatemala, The Best Justice That Money Can Buy” 

and yet another bit of ‘only in Antigua’ insanity…one of our long-haired gringo semi-permanent residents…you’ll see him scooting around town, sometimes with a leather jacket with fringes (Dennis Hopper style) recently returned from the States, apparently on a shopping trip…two large suitcases, one filled with rice and the other? Starbucks Guatemala Blend…uh, excuse me? importing that stuff to here? 

Looks like Lava is giving the “salsa night’ a twirl or two…why not? Micho’s day shift is getting their ‘americano desayuno’ together, a bit more each week…this week they’ve mastered buttering the toast. Hey…it’s a gringo thing, ok?

Angel of Djinn says her move across the street hasn’t impacted her business one way or the other..her tikka spot was just a bit off center this morning but how do you tell someone that?  it’s a caste mark, ok? bright red spots are #1 Brahmin…and on the wedding night the groom gets to scratch it off and see if he’s won anything, like a liquor store or motel…

Tom ‘Speedy’ Murphy feeling well enough to go to Wal Mart today…maybe he’ll be able to drive next week..the Perfesser can be the passenger side airbag and Plumb Bob and I can sit in back and not watch Tom pass everything in sight..

http://www.examiner.com/article/the-mystery-of-takalik-abaj-part-one  more in the series of last year..I suspect that there’ll be some stuff to add to next weeks’ adventure in paradise.

 

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