Posts Tagged ‘mezcal’

holy freezin’ jesus…three weeks til the end of the world and a month til 2013? yep..check your calendars, people.

the ‘unindicted co-conspirators’ meeting in the patio at Ocelot…and where the f…..k is J.R?…no, not THAT J.R, he died early this week…the other guy, even more secretive than Howard Hughes/Frank Vesco/Sammy the Bull…


that pizza place on 4th avenida, across from Ocelot? a for rent sign in the window…next to the shuttered/closed dead as a doornail Riki’s…who’s gonna take over that space? with the impending closure of Ixcot, that block is gonna be lights out after the first of the year…DA Mayor’s big Jimmy SUV parked in front of City Hall..that poor…well, relatively poor bastard…cooped up in jail with Portillo, his assets seized…am I the only one who waves at his daughter? (and she’s well worth waving at, believe me)…

that newish restaurant, La Velanda or whatever..in the old Fusion location, corner of 1st calle and 6th avenida? that’s the place that missed the ‘T’ in Sport Bar…well, they’ve added a nice brass ‘T’ now…so? so what? spor bar, sport bar, sperm bar…take a look at Red’s and decide if you want to open up another sports bar in town…idiots..

Santa, aka Frank May of Nim P’ot, passing out gift baskets which included some of his fresh organic produce from the Farm…that’s a neat personal touch over the cellophane wrapped canastas from Bodegona…

Jim aka Santiago Durham returns home from the hospital/surgery/ball/hip thing tomorrow..yep, I’ve been drafted…and that vinos y licores place on 5th calle P, towards La Pena del Sol? someone just upped the ante/stakes and has added a lot of new brands of liquor(jack daniels etc)plus a walk-in humidor well stocked with Cuba’s finest…the stogies are a bit dry but that’ll change…a very good assortment, better than…well, maybe..no, on 2nd thought, I think the nod goes to them…if they had Montecristo #1’s…or San Cristobals…hmm…and thanks, Mike D, for the salacious gossip/scandalous babble about a mutual friend…whew…this town is incestuous, ‘n’est ce pas?…frenchy talk for ‘no shit’…


it appears that there might be a ‘road trip’ coming up…the principals are nodding their heads..film at eleven..last but not least: is Alex Ferrar of Sobremesa the most talented chef in town? or creative? ..had some of his latest, mezcal ice cream…Don A, George S in there early, noshing away..(eating) and yes, I missed the performance of Nutcracker Suite, Handel’s Messiah and i gave away the ticket to the ballet for tomorrow night..after i get Bull Durham up the steps tomorrow to his f….king apartment and squared away, I’m taking the week off..yeah, you say…I’v been ‘off’ for a long time…no shit.


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’twas the night before….oops, wrong holiday…gotta get a new calendar, assuming that after the 21st of December, we’re all still here…there’s a ton of hype about the ‘end of the world’ coming…even worst than the Harmonica Convergence a few years back..I’ve been invited to go see/observe/whiff some copal up country about then…might be better than the flying saucer conventions on the West Coast that my folks used to take me to..

Marcel, late of El Cazadore Italiano, taking life easy…swapped the blue Chevelle for a gray Camaro…Ignacio, our somewhat truncated Cuban musician? looking spiffy again and says he’s playing at PV, La Sala and Cafe No Se…doing better than a lot of other musicians, eh? PM? off to take a dip in the Sea of Love…another triumph of hope over experience…i wish him well..

Klaus of the Jardin Bavaria, back from Spain/Germany…stories varied…John the Rexer, back in town, ‘taking meetings’ in the sun…Ilegal Mezcal is everywhere these days(except in my cupboard) and yes, we’re losing another SYT….i admit to having had an ‘avuncular interest’ but it’s time for her to blow town and go on to bigger/better things/places…there are times when i forget that this is a transient town…some that I’d wish would stay, don’t and some that I’d wish would leave…don’t..

somewhere, in the last week, I noticed a new sign  up for a hotel/restaurant and a ‘spor bar’….did they mean ‘spore’ or what? spore, i can believe, as in mushrooms, keep ’em in the dark and feed ’em horseshit..perfect…and the Prensa Libre referred to our mayor by another name…does this mean that Adolfo has had it?  well, yes…and yes, there’s a certain place, where if you go upstairs and ask nicely for an ashtray, they’re available…no names, eh?

got one of those insipid e-cards today, from a lady friend who used to reside in ‘Vegas…now hiding out in the Dom Rep….the message was…what are you thankful for this year? good question…I’m thankful for not being on my ass in a 3rd rate hospital in the City, not still in the clutches of the IRS and so on…my life is good and I don’t take that lightly…off to the Jet Set tomorrow! whoop whoop, as Yo-Yo is fond of saying…and where the hell is Buck Wheat? still in El Salvador with Evelyn?  the country isn’t that big, eh? have a great day tomorrow…this is truly an ‘american holiday’…eat till you burst, burp and ask for seconds..or thin may be in, but fat is where it’s at..

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and in the cupholder…the very tasty MM of El Portal, she who goes thru boyfriends on a weekly basis, plays tennis next door at the Club Antigueno…the errant orbs drift over the fence and just like a funny kind of Easter Egg Hunt, either I or the dogs collect ’em..she was bangin’ away this morning…oops, wrong simile…and I had a bag o’ balls…ergo..’left em in her Jeep and I’ll collect the kisses/hugs later.

ah…yes, John Rexer, who said not to drink the Joven Ilegal mezcal too fast…I’m not…but the danger level is getting closer…what a product!..compared to Quetzalteca,  it’s like comparing Hell’s Angel meth to pharmaceutical blow, HavaTampa’s to Montecristo #1’s, Kansas ditchweed to Maui Wowie..well, you get the picture, right?

a small change but one in the right direction…the ‘approved by CamTur’ stamp now changed to ‘recommended by CamTur’…a stronger word…maybe the turistas will get it…or maybe not…what’s up with the matching T-shirts? yeah, it’s a communal/bonding thing….let ’em walk the fire coals with Tony Robbins instead and get their tootsies burnt…’heard that Safe Passage, of whom I read a weekly schedule recently, just scored a 2 million dollar coup this year…yeah, $2M…the ‘schedule’ was mostly in transport/dinners and meetings…o yeah, save the kids…right..

Music? Piano Mike is back in Chicago..leaving Ron Fortin/Adan the Cuban Magical Pianist and who else? TLG and the Mezcalitos, I guess..with all these ‘Christian’ groups, the town’s rocknroll/party hearty atmosphere is taking a hit…maybe bring back Black Sabbath and some satanic rock…or how about an LDS group, the ‘Stormin’ Mormons’?….whilst reading about the town’s patron saint, i was surprised to read that St. James made an appearance to Joseph Smith(the Morman dude)…what the hell was he taking? anyone who spun off stories of golden tablets and an angel named Moroni…is moroni plural for morons?

Peter the G in town on Sunday..or was it Saturday? looked like he was(Saturday)doing real estate stuff aka ‘showing properties’…

Miss M, whilst here for lunch, noticed some of the Mayan carvings…said that one looked like a ‘dick’…’had to ask if she’d ever seen a dick with a smiley face…

rocket dick


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you had to be there, I s’pose: a pickup parked outside of Cafe No Se about 5pm on Saturday, Michael Tallon, John Rexer and a couple of workers schlepping in small cardboard boxes of the latest batch of Ilegal Mezcal…’caught up in the frenzy, I missed if each box had four or six bottles of Joven but there was a helluva lot eventually stacked in the back. There’s been a drought of this in town…you know, those wacky Mexicans and their manana attitude? not really: John’s just created a monster that consumes this stuff world-wide and since each batch is hand-crafted, etc…have the labels been changed? they look spiffier/more elegant….”don’t drink it too fast” he said to me(several times)hell, it’s still sitting on the counter, unopened.

yet, another Beauty Pageant yesterday! last weekend we had the Queen of the PNC or some kinda police pageant and they(the contestants) kinda resembled…ack, how to be kind/nice? (don’t)..The real Miss Antigua pageant attracted the cream of the crop and what’s left isn’t A-List material. Yesterday, gathered around the Park and on the sidewalks for photo-ops, were the contestants for Miss Bombero and her court..we’re scraping the bottom of the beauty barrel, folks.

It’ s been two days of gustatory pleasure, which is why I ain’t been around at night…Friday Santiago’s suberb Tecpan ribs on the barbie and yesterday the most xlnt lasagna from Pan E Fantasia, Deliciosa’s replacement…someone said that Luciano made it and I thought that Pavarotti had died…The DelightfulMiss M and I made a dent in it, whoever the hell Luciano is…’flavor-wise it reminded me of Angie’s gorgonzola raviolis…if it’s pork-related, contact Senor Durham…jamesdurham2@gmail….maybe, as with Mary Kay/Herbalife, maybe I can get some kinda rake-off going…Herbalife/Getalife? another Utah-based Mormon multi-level thing, here in town? yep…in the El Jaulon building. Who the hell is buying from them? what was the name of the older MLM hustle? ah, Amway!…..ever have one of your ‘acquaintances’ call up with the ‘pitch’?…they gave ’em a really good script to use, as I remember.

the town packed with people, even…tourists! yes, foreigners/auslanders with shorts, cameras and bewildered packs of a dozen or more. Andy, our superb mime, doin’ his number on 5th avenida, the usual crowd of 50 giggling. He’s good…drop a 5 or ten q note in his tip jar, eh? zo? wonder which Beauty Queen group will be posing today? and the Big Question…will Da Mayor march at the front of the parade on Wednesday, as usual?

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alert…huge alert!….Rexer’s outa Ilegal Mezcal….a few bottles on the back shelf at Cafe No Se and the promised shipment outa Mexico?  right…manana y manana…are we living in a 3rd World Country? o, that’s right…we are..like my local printer: ‘tomorrow, tomorrow….right…

La Pena Del Sol? jammed/packed..party of 75 plus assordid others…125 diners…Lori Shea’s group(birthday)upstairs in a corner, the band jamming below…Mike the X and others…’never seen La Pena this packed…Bill at the door, big smile…dos Reilly’s quiet, El Gato Negro with the music up, half/packed…Ocelot’s happy hour packed…ah, TM of the Beige Bomb? reports that the repairs are done except for one tiny detail…a headlight is out…so…if anyone can find a headlight for  a ’90 series T-Bird or Cougar, call in and getcher reward..

Sobremesa open on a regularly closed Tuesday? yep…Cashbar closed..Sangre lo mismo except that Djinn(across the street next to Cashbar)is moving into some retail space of Sangre….hey, cashflow..for a change..

weird stuff #4…checked the stats for this silly blog…weird…people in Malaysia,  India, Indonesia and Tunisia checking in…yeah, Denmark…but the East? por que? Netherlands? yep…probably the Dutch Boy who stuck his finger in the bull dyke and saved Holland…drum roll..

per Alex of Fusion, the expansion next door(old 709 space) is ‘that close’ to being signed off…gotta meeting with Da Mayor soon…maybe next week/month…waitaminute..next week IS next month…the tenants are ready to rock/make $$…can Da Mayor do something? whata bout the Consejo? o, that’s right..he fired a bunch of them…this town…

still haven’t eaten at the new chinese place, Wokco…the menu’s on the table and it looks enticing..next week, the latest version of Our Man up on Amazon.com…lotta additions: decided that Top Five Bars oughta be Top Ten, for example…too many great dives not to include/write about…plus more light hearted froth(only in Antigua stuff)…this town…love it…earthquakes, lava flows, rains…wtf? beats the hell outa any other place on this planet…

no f%$#@! mezcal? this is an emergency of the highest…er, well…dire straits…even worse…our ‘live music’ scene….Nelson Lunding plays a gig in the City tomorrow night and then departs for two months…Ignacio, our Cuban virtuoso, having lost a leg to diabetes…gonzo…Seth Monfort, the outstanding pianist…gonzo..Ron Fortin, sax player? adios? who’s left? Adan the Cuban? Mercedes? it’s not lookin’ good for stuff other than DJ’s..Mike the X and Los Mescalitos? yep…they’re still here…Cafe No Se..alas, Caffe Bourbon..no breakfast trade and no dinners…even Tacodiscontento outdrawing them and that’s not a record to brag about..’sneezin’ and wheezin? yep…the elegant Victoria C back at El Reino del Jade…sneezin’ like me and a bunch of tuk-tuk drivers…it’s that time of the year, they say…the cold that keeps on keepin’ on…hello, paper towels…ahchoo!… 

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