Posts Tagged ‘ocelot’

of the St. Patricks Day festivus that hit Antigua yesterday….capped with the arrest/incarceration of one of our more notable bar owners….D&D and I don’t mean Dungeons and Dragons…imagine how much it takes to get arrested here..

ok…rant’s and raves time: where in the hell is the Municipal water wagon and why can’t the sidewalks (filthy)get hosed down? why do tuk-tuks travel in packs of 2 and 3?…if they spread out, might they find more business? and where is the ‘wheel crampers, aka el cepo? the town is packed with people parking their vehicles willy-nilly, blocking traffic..even if the City cut the price of  the fine from 300q to 100q, they could be racking up a thousand quetzals in an hour or so…dunno..jest asking, y’ know. And don’t even ask me about the water pipe installation mess on 5th Calle..unbelievably dumb.

Marbel’s coupon book for local discounts? great idea…for 50q and 40 tickets? if anyone who was at Hap’s going-away party last night at Mamma’s had one…bingo! big discount,…and no, myself and Tono refrained from the antics of St. Patricks Day in town…we’re gentlemen drinkers…

This Friday night? 7pm,Personajes on 6th avenida..the ever fabulous Flor of Dasha is doing another fashion show, …swim suits! yeah, I’m in..

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you know, that month or so between now and the start of the rainy season? kinda feels like, as my firewood sits unused (like me, in many ways).

This just in, compliments of Nelson Lunding! besides all of his regular gigs, today he’s playing up on the hill, at Franks Place (El Cerro etc) he and Zeduardo, plus..drum roll…Hector Castro! the Hector? 1::30-5pm….this I gotta go see/hear.

Last night, at the Spanish Cultural Center? GG Foto’s exhibit of great fotos…was s’posed to start at 7pm but it got pushed back until the arrival of the ‘ambassador.’….which ‘ambassador’ I didn’t wait for, so i slipped under the rope and had my own viewing…damn, what an eye she has…Linnitt and Korey there, early, like me.

Our own inimitable Tono, having fun at La Taverna with a nice lady, who was having fun also. Mayra and Marbel at Mayra’s Mamma’s…two very hot mamas, indeed…and the old Avesa Spa, on 6th ave sur, the ozone/aroma spa? now advertising laser surgery for liposuction…is there any kind of training required? this being Guatemala, they won’t have to worry about lawsuits when they suck out too much fat…hey…let’s open up a little slit here and turn on the laser? oops!

Picante, that motorcycle themed place on 6th calle, by Travel Menu? gonzo…probably a smart decision…Hogan/Hap, back today from a trip up north, tubing the Candelaria Caves…monday, ponzi bob, duane and nazi john going out to the mighty Motagua…why? adventure lurks, I s’pose. 

and yes, 5th calle westward? if it’s not dusty, it’s damn damp…’guess they’ll wait and see if any more leaks start leaking..fUBAR, in other words..or train another crew in ditch-digging and connecting PVC pipe…even for Antigua, this is a claim to shame.

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once more, from the top….the new Tropicana Hostal/Bar is serious competition for any…repeat, any other hostal in town…yes, Monica has done wonders with the Jungle Party and the Black Cat imploded and La Terrazza was coming along, with their Pub Crawls…but…and a BIG but…Tropicana is the new 800 lb gorilla in town. thanks to Rory and Laurel, with some help from some friends, the place is the best…ok? the best, hands down. Of course, for an grand opening all you have to do is say ‘free beer’ and  you’ve got a party on your hands…James Mullen/Laurel behind the bar, Christophe dishing up snacks..don’t take my word for this…go by…a swimming pool? yep..right in the middle, with wood planking…great rooms, ambience..

La Calle is changing hands…Spiros and Alabama Bob take over Oct 1…and a name change: the Exit Inn…with Spiros back to doing what he does best: cooking…yep, ceviche returns(and his is the best)plus burgers and….lamb kebab…greek style…I’m in….and maybe, just maybe, they continue the Thursday night vodka special…any brand, 15q…so, I sucked down two Stoli’s…30q…

Sobremesa is doing a special take on Guatemalan ‘tipico’ food tomorrow…7pm…and adding spice/flavors to  what is…mild/unimaginative…and per the rain or lack of it, it was a quiet aka dead night for restaurants…even Piano Mike and the tasty Andy Z. Luna were looking at a empty room at Travel Menu…everyone..repeat, everyone was at the Tropicana opening…even the ever tasty Marvelous Marbel was alone at Casbah’s little pub..I would’ve stayed/kept her company but the rain was starting..

so…if you’re into whiskey and in Bodegona, check out the Crowley’s…’tipo whisky’ the label reads..but if you read the list of ingredients on the back? 98 % alcohol, 25 whiskey…is this legal? who cares?..La Taverna? slowly dying, as is Ocelot…why? 6th calle is the new center of town, with more bars per block than anywhere else…they’re not the best but they have sucked up the business..the Snug, Travel Menu and so on…north 5th is over/dead..4th calle is restaurant land, with Micho’s and Sobremesa fighting over the biz..Tartines, with ‘the best terrace in town’…a joke..and dead..Fusion getting some action, along with Mamma’s…but not much, not on these rainy September nights..it’s generally a slow month, so take a vacation and shut the doors..and Mayra of Mamma’s…the only person in town who is a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America?

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one by one, maybe even two by two, familiar faces return to Antigua…’must be the season, for the reason..James Mullen back, Tanya the Magnificent leaving soon(Canada?)…Mike D and Nazi John incoming in a few weeks and no, I don’t know if the Vortex People (to quote Dr J) are still in Ponzi Bob’s menagerie…Edwin, as usual, is being mysterious…

and Alabama Bob, recently in a late night scuffle…I thought he’d been worse in appearance but ….not…this #2 for such, like Dr J….gentlemen! how many times does it take?

Shaun of O’lot leaving this weekend for Wales/Greece….gotta  have his wife well trained to be traveling alone…wait…I had mine trained just like that…’honey…uh…I’m going to India next week but I’ll write.’….I was the same age and it worked..don’t ask me how but it did..

yeah…the ever planned/ever suspended plans for Zacapa are on hold yet again…jeez…’turns out that we need a 4X4, which I wasn’t aware of…and the rental agencies in town don’t take a debit card…screw…however, Plan D  is underway..

what was the old Tacontento place on 5th ave north is still vacant…wtf? great location, one would think…and yes, local authorities are bemoaning the lack of tourists ($$$)and saying that Antigua is becoming riddled with drugs, rapes and worse…is the parallel  with the Congress? wake up, dudes..the world economy took a serious dump in ’08…war didn’t pump the economy, Detroit(autos)suck and they’re bankrupt and the real estate market in the US hasn’t created any equity except negative equity…there’s some 30 trillion dollars stuck away offshore and that’s not gonna help Guatemala, even if the Prez just did spend 2 million bucks on his country house/farm…nice job of saving some $$ from his salary, I’d say.

Mango Verde, the smoothie place on 5th calle? still open? yeah…one would think that you’d add up your monthly expenses and divide by number of days open and that’s your monthly ‘nut’…simple, eh? however, Antigua being the economic exception to most every rule of thumb I’ve seen, it just keeps keepin’ on…and yes, good to see Piano Mike/Bobby D jumping back into their musical stuff here..and yes, another 25 copies of ‘A Year of Driving Stupidly…no, drugged/dangerously’ hit the street tomorrow…badda bing! there’s a free Kindle download of the September version of Our Man at present..go to https://www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer…and whip it on! and yes, Alex of Sobremesa is closed for the week…why? dunno…guy’s gotta rest some time, the way I see it.

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so….TLG was there to play later…I carried in his neat little suitcase of harmonicas…most of the unusual suspects were there, extra tables (with table clothes!)set up and food dispersed..I missed Tanya and I just missed the South African lady(tomorrow, fer sure, in the park)…Piano Mike stopped in, on his way to the 7pm show at Travel Menu, where I was going to go but…turned right on 5th avenida and walking by La Terazza, Casbahs little bar? inside? the marvelous Marbel, in a stretchy little  outfit, complete with cat’s ears(I think).

Also with peculiar timing, a  ‘grand opening’ of a place maybe called La Casa Blanca, on 5th ave sur…per a usually source(not typical for Antigua-Stan)their new name is The Tavern…hmm…some name, same start date?

now, the ‘burning question)…not preparation H, btw…there’s been some mention of Guatemala doing a time change, beginning tomorrow night? and moving the clocks ahead by an hour? what happened to ‘Fall back and Spring forward? is this true? who will actually do it? (not me)too bizarre, eh?

tonight, at Hops and Tales, Piano Mike and Andy z Luna…no, I don’t know the ‘start time’ ok? find your way to the old El Muro, on 3rd calle oriente, by Nifu Nifa or whatever its called, the only restaurant with a shotgun at the door (with a guard, of course)…someone once said that the reason for the shotgun is a freezer full of good steaks inside…right, as if..Ocelot’s getting a new wall mural, something about rugby…dunno…and yes,  it appears as if the ‘rainy season’ has returned…not soon enough for a lot of farmers…seems like there’s a lot of protests about the Monsanto ‘cram-down’….can’t blame ’em as that bunch of international criminals deserves to be run outa town/country..Agent Orange, Round-up, etc…they suck..

and maybe…a trip to Zacapa next Friday…right…a good thing that I’m a mellow kinda fellow… 

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and tell Tchaikovsky the news…are Tuesdays always this dead in Antigua?  empty bars/restaurants hither,thither and yon..one place, on 4th Calle, hanging out the sign that reads ‘Best Terrace in Town’…Luna Miel, on 6th Ave goes the other direction: ‘worst terrace in town…’I’d go with Luna Miel, having seen both offerings.

So…TanyaH’s ‘despidedia?’…supposedly at La Morena at 7pm…wrong, whiskey breath…changed to Las Vibras…the Vibrators?..I missed it…having gone first to La Taverna and swilled the very last of the Royal Choice whiskey in honor of Ed Clark, who left this planet a week ago(we shared the same taste in bourbon) openings/closings and the beat goes on…Pan y Fantasia, the replacement for Deliciosa, on 3rd calle? new name on the front…Paladar or something…Beer Company, in the Ocelot patio..closed, repainted…Pelicano Sports looking dead…La Morena> lo mismo…and Minoshka the Spa people? opening yet another location on 7th ave norte…how many is this?? four or five? Angel of Djinn, the very very witchy woman who wears all that Indian stuff? opened a 3rd location! inside the new so so mexican joint on 5th ave…fiesta so so mexicana of the raw tortillas..3 stores? WTF?

Mike D leaves us June 17..Alabama Bob rolls in on June 4…Thor Sheffield? in town, back for a while from China…taking a part in Ponzi Bob’s ‘Chinese Millionaire Camp on the Motagua’ scheme…christ…who’s smoking what and can I get some?

and I’m looking for a book on mineral identification….photos/descriptions…lemme know if there’s one in this country…gotta article or two to write and the scientific names would help..actually, anything would help..so, Tanya and company…I’m sorry to have missed your departure but you’ll be back…the last minute switcheroo from La Morena to Las Vibras threw me off the track (typical) and I’m liking La Taverna’s new enclosure of fencing around the outdoor tables…what little gringo trade there is these days, they’re sucking it up…

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in a town that has a plethora of bars/restaurants and a dearth of customers, why would anyone in their right minds open another?  o that’s right…’we weren’t thinkin’…we were drinkin’…let me explain just a few things…PC’s…no, not politically correct nor personal computers…’pouring costs’…what it costs to pour a drink: take the rent, the overhead, the utilities, ice, salaries, cost of the stuff and divide by 30…a month, get it? so,take that figure and that’s what your daily nut is..according to how many hours you’re open for business…oh! ROI? return on investment? 

Shaun’s newest venture, La Morena, back in the corner where the sun doesn’t shine? not open, yet..but, next door, to the ill fated Playa 13? Pelicano Sport! WTF? does that mean? sports with pelicans? The Beer Company in front suffers…however, one bright spot…Rory/Laurie of The Snug, took over Travel Menu and they should know what works and what the numbers are…but two doors west? some new kinda place with new booths and a shiny motorcycle as decor? idiots…walk around town and see how many places are doing business…Reilly’s/Dos Mil going to a Thursday night Ladies Swill it up for Free night…8-11…not exactly a money maker…and yest another ‘Mexican restaurant’ on 5th avenida, north of the park..next to the new Wa Lo Jade shop..or is it Way Low?  anyway…Fiesta is the name, tacos are their game…nice entrance, festooned (love that word)with sombreros, a fountain, courtyard, bar and Jose’s your uncle, eh? 

Looking for fun, excitement and ? Ask Dr J,who’s been renting a place in a Spanish school on lower 2nd ave…by night, there’s thieves, dope(weed/coke) dealers, counterfeiters and as a bonus? on the weekend, ‘girls’ from the City…400k a pop, so to speak….he’s moving out next month, so if this sounds good, track him down…

I was wrong(Version #45) ponzi Bob doesn’t leave til the end of the month..Mike D is handling the rental…no sign of Nazi John, since last weekend’s orgy…well, not really an ‘orgy’.,..shack up? good for him…who would’ve guessed? (not me)but that sets the tone/standard for what’s allowable there, activity-wise. The YMCA,it ain’t..

yeah, there’s drones in Guatemala and in Antigua…’guess this means I gotta start/file my taxes by next week…Tuesday the 15th, is also the 4th anniversary of Ocelot…mandatory appearance, btw…

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