Our Man in Antigua

two weddings today….driven by the old Model T and the other by the black ’56 Pontiac convertible…ah, love…marriage, in my experience is like a bath…after a while, it’s not so hot, but then again, I’m septical…no, make that sceptical..hell, where’s spel chuck when I need it..

What’s up with the dirty streets/sidewalks? at least, when Adolfo was mayor, this place was clean…there’s a city water truck with a sidewalk spray, there’s a vacuum cleaner on a truck and the town is looking trashy….too many folks dropping trash here, there and everywhere…there seems, to me, that the level of class/style and elegance has dropped…no hot well/dressed City babes..just families with strollers, sucking their ice cream cones..

Restaurants? empty! the only one with a line was ex-Hectors…’guess they hadn’t heard that Hector left town a few months ago…as with a few other places, it’s not the food, it’s the owner, on deck..kinda like Sobremesa..dead…Micho’s..half dead…take a lesson from the Choco Museo, folks..it’s all about the entertainment, not the filling..

a few folks return…John Adams from Nor Cal, wondering what’s happened to A-Town..yeah, we’re all wondering…Action Jackson, sometimes ‘missing in action’ Jackson, supposed to play at Travel Menu tonight..what time? who knows? a few other expats coming back, one by one, some disabled…there’s been a few too many alcohol-related events lately…dial it back, folks..Michael Rayment! back from Brittania…yea and thanks for the drink..I owe ya..

the ever elegant/tall Maite  of El Portal..and El Sol and so on…her birthday today…high heels and a great smile..and where’s Capt Gerry and his musical crew? back fishing again?

 Antigua is sucking, anyway, 4th calle dead…5th avenida dead…Reilly’s et al..dead…the back backers don’t have any money, the Christian tourists are praying to Jeesuz…bring back a rock n roll mayor, let the good times roll and so on..or let the tumbleweeds blow thru…oops, no tumbleweeds..yet…Ocelot’s new happy hour policy kicks in December 1st…drink it up while you can..and yes, Monday, major changes in http://www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer and good changes, btw..stay tuned..

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absinthe makes the heart grow fonder? I guess you’d have to go to Bistro Cinq, swill a few and see what happens.

So…the Great Waiters Race today….you’ll never see waiters move faster or sweat more…yeah, a few cheated by taking to the sidewalks, laying their bottles/cans on their sides but what the hell? 

Office Depot! coming to town, on 3rd Calle/7th Ave….now, that’s an improvement…Monica’s jungle Party under some serious roof repairs…a ‘hostel takeover’?….El Gato Negro selling off furnishings, lamps and TV’s…is there a long awaited sale involved? La Terraza, the ‘party hostel’ is having some ‘internal difficulties’…nope, don’t know any more than that..did the party get outa hand? probably.

A vision in a low cut blue sundress this affernoon..the place, Reilly’s La Esquina, the person the lovely Marbel…

Ocelot’s fabled ‘Happy Hour’ is going to  stop…that’s all I know..and who bought up all the Dos Pinos cottage cheese since the shipment came in yesterday…I got one and then…nada today…and if you need something from the City  delivered here? Guate Express, on 6th calle, next to DHL…..cheaper and safer than traveling with HBT (who swears that his right wrist is better, but that’s what he said last month, when his right foot was broken). 27q each way, btw..

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so…I’m walking along 4th Calle after a couple of pops at Ocelot..on the patio with the unusual group of suspects, Bob Miller,HBT, Jackson, Chocolate Bob and standing in front of El Jaulon is a nun and a monk, both holding flaming torches..hmmm..outside of Michos’s, next door is Coline and GGfoto, having a cig break..nope, they don’t know  anything about the tiki torches, except the conversation veers to the new group of Latina gangster women called ‘Las Chulas’…I told Coline and GG that I’d be happy to write letters of recommendation for them both to join the gang…

the torch/thing is some kinda convention involving big plastic name tags with mayan/woven/pattern neck loops, ties, suits, tourist coaches in the street and our main man from Escobars, tonight in a  splendid red velvet spanish suit of lights.. the only other restaurant in town doing business, aside from upstairs at El Jaulon, was Las Palmas, sucking up the  ‘crowd’ biz…a few singles, doubles here and there…Claudia #1 of Da Vinci, presiding over a few tables (and looking splendid) and what was up with all the red beret troops in town, scattered on every corner? must’ve been a serious politico in town to deserve the red beanie brigade.

an eye witness to the Brooktoberfest debacle on Sunday…40-50 people, at best, half with children(who don’t drink much beer) equals an financial disaster…8 portapotties, which i hate because those little soap bars in the tiny green plastic sink don’t lather up worth a damn.

and some kinda lukewarm interest in the old La Rumba/Ixcot space..the prospective tenants have the keys but they have cold feet…with that dumbass ‘beach concept’ next door, who can blame them…’13’…a ‘concept bar’…yeah, a very very dumb concept..and thanks to the sharp eyes of a reader than this site/contest is being stolen by ‘traveland resting.com….i guess i should be grateful but he should’ve asked first

and this week only 1/2 price sale of ‘Our Man in Antigua’ is off/running..go to http://www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer for the details..order  up a hundred, por favor 

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a giant tip of the panama to G&G Visual clinic..a few months ago I thought that the Cosmo’s were getting to me….nah, as the doc explained, our eyes have a bunch of lubricating glands (not glans) and like the windshield washer on your car, they get plugged up..

so…I now have a ‘personal shopper’…if you hang out in the central park long enough, you’ll run into Francisco or Sergio sooner or later. Both dispense items of sometimes ‘dubious provenance or quality’ and Sergio has recently struck pay-dirt by selling used leather jackets to the gringos…Comandante Bill suggested, after I said i was looking for a white dress shirt, that I have Sergio do the footwork…yes! S has my sizes, preference and so on..let him navigate the paca…and bring it to me in the park..Mike D….you bought some fake coins from Francisco yesterday…I know who might buy them but I gotta get a commission..

and yes, I missed the ‘Oktoberfest yesterday…a great venue but a month later than any Oktoberfest I’ve ever known: maybe it’s just the manana attitude in Guatemala…Allan G is reportedly in Panama, under ‘a cloud’ as people say (and not up in the cloud zone)…Hogan’s in Cambodia, Reid is in Colombia but they both swear to be back in Antigua by January..Hogan without Hap is like Laurel without Hardy.

Nido Antigua, Fusion’s mini-mall, is 100% rented again (big sigh from Alex) Sobremese oddly empty last night but the other Alex is in Argentina…WTF? and the 1/2 one week only sale of ‘A Year of Driving Dangerously’ is almost over….go to http://www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer for the details…free Kindle downloads and tomorrow, the 18th, a one week 1/2 promotion also for the November version of “Our Man in Antigua.’….buy a few hundred, I don’t care..

Da Vinci! doing a mini-crowd last night: big smile on Luis Miguel’s face…there’s been some lean times in town, especially in October..maybe the worm has turned, judging from the amount of gringo tourists in town.and lastly, HBT, with the new wrist support(and he won’t go to the doctor)swears that he can drive ok…would you ride with him, with one hand incapacitated?

I have my personal doubts but it looks like the new season of ‘driving dangerously’ is about to begin again…pass the bottle, please.

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a phrase seldom seen…like, wtf is a ‘bill’ that gets posted?….don’t ask, nod twice and let it go…

another local email scam….those of you/us who got the frantic message for $$ today? first of all, Yahoo’s email accounts were hacked a long time ago…#2, friends of mine who were in England, got spotted/spoofed and the same kinda message went out…’Help!”..the 3rd clue is their english or lack of grammar…even Mary Lou can write better than this…

‘heard a number/price on the sale of what was Riki’s on 4th ave…you tell me…1.5 mil USD….one imagines that the six brothers or so are happy with $150k each…soon to be spent, of course..

what was the Cargo Room is now pumpkin-colored…Halloween colors?..given the location, his connections and the general economy, Lex held on for a long time…hey, working at Ricardo’s Tabacos Y Vinos isn’t all that bad, right?

Shaun/Jason pulled the life-support plug ($$)on the short-lived “Pit Stop/aka afterparty/Lava 2 this week or last…my news is usely …older than dirt..usually? right! it was, in my opinion and a few others a weird move, anyway other than a brothel with slot machines..my idea, of course..

and the FATCA thing…Foreign Account Tax Collection Act…coming soon to a bank near you….probably not that soon…it’s been said by some that the newly enforced rule of a ’30 day hold on checks deposited in foreign gringo accounts’ here is a consequence of the above…read it, research it and then….BAC, as we know, was bought out by Colombians 2 years ago…BAM more recently and the source of the ’30 day hold policy’…..it’s just policy, folks…BAC doesn’t have a ’30 day policy’…and BAM  does…go figure…BAM, for you local folks, isn’t probably your bank of choice anymore.

and thanks, you FB fans, for your answers/comments about me changing the title of ‘Our Man’…I’m gonna blend in some of ’em…and Murray’s sick old Jeep died yesterday…some kinda transmission thingy…Jeep had a couple of bad years and this puppy qualified…and yes, ‘road trips’ are shaping up/being talked about (and not in the Jeep) and once again, kudos/tip o the panama to FotoImagen on 4th calle, across from McDonalds…my so-called smart phone charger ent wacko…they diagnosed it/had a replacement chop chop…’chop chop?’….isn’t it fun being politically incorrect every so often?  how about ‘Spick and Span’, the Mexican cleanser?  fill in your own blanks…my  ice is melting…excuse the mis-spells…the keyboard, with only one monkey typing, etc.. o yes! http://www.amazon.com/author/michaelsherer   its christmas soon!  ok, last drum/rim shot….why is Bodegona’s toilet paper section as big as, if not larger than the liquor section?

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