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Posts Tagged ‘police’

Sometimes, living next to tennis courts, is like being married..the same shouts…no love-40, either.

yeah…the newspaper that proclaimed McAfee’s deportation yesterday…oops…Da Judge gave him a few more days to get it together before they ship his addled carcass back to Beleeze…with the dye job and the bad photos, it’s looks like he’s been on a very long and thoroughly whacked out road trip…or boat trip..

tomorrow? an NGO that I know nothing about, Los Manos de Christine, doing a 25q BBQ at 11am…#35 Avenida Norte, at the Lutheran Center…the only ‘manos’ that I’m familiar with are those of Carmen and that’s about every two weeks..and magic.

Red Power? not…tis the brand of some funky dead-ass batteries imported from Red China…yeah, they’re cheap and half the price of Duracells…don’t go there…

The ‘fix’ in is for us at Take-a-Lick Abaj on Wednesday, as long as Hill Billy Tom doesn’t run us into the back of some cane truck on the way to Ray-hoo…a guide, maybe a cop or two on a moto…too bad Reid isn’t back yet…a lot of the usual ‘suspects’, i.e, the winter crowd of pale white gringos are slowly re-appearing in town..Reid’s excuse is that his son hasn’t graduated yet from Police Academy II or 3…Reid! bring a dart gun and a lotta darts…PCP is recommended…for dealing with the 800 lb sow in the pen with the Land Rover. Any darts left over can be used around the park.

Alright…Civic Improvement time and good PR for Guatemala’s badly tarnished international image…the idea of the tuk-tuk races didn’t fly..and the idea of staged shoot-outs between narcos and the PNC hasn’t grabbed anyone…nor the nude chocolate mud-wrestling events…god, where’s the imagination? feature this…there’s a national/international bread company that sells here…and with a contest for someone babelicious, some press coverage and TV cameras, Antigua could get some decent PR….I’m volunteering to be a judge, for as any of my friends will testify, if anyone is an expert in such, tis me…ta da! Miss Bimbo!

Brenda aka Brianna

Brenda aka Brianna

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Saturday morning…thanks to the intervention of someone, in speaking with two PNC brass and the guy in the suit yesterday in the park, the decision to ban the three newspaper vendors is cancelled and in writing…nope, wuzn’t me..I was there but…

Lili, the ‘newspaper lady’ on the corner of 5th/4th? getting the bounce…outa there in a week, after 16 years in the same location..all the vendors around the park are getting the axe..are the shoeshine kids gonna be next? how about the taxis,  parked by the church? was told, by a 2nd hand source, that that ‘mayan’ vendors wil be allowed back in four months…altho judging/observing from a large gathering of same by La Merced this morning(and dispersed by PNC) that four months might not be long enough to put this fire out.

I’ve said and I’ll say it again…pick 5-10 of the top vendors with the best goods and license them to sell in/around the park. The ice cream vendors with their little carts don’t harm anyone…Sarita has a lock on the business..and what’s a few newspapers and how are people gonna find ’em anymore? I don’t get it but that’s true of a lot of things. Lets put people out of work? people with mouths to feed? the idea of only using “Antigua artists’ is absurd(to me)…who/where are they? the three cartoonists and Andy the Mime have a ‘show’?…dunno…it’s all too wierd…maybe have the latest perps caught raping/snatching/stealing brought into the park once a week for public floggings?..the park had color/vibrancy…

ok..off the box.. http://www.examiner.com/article/the-no-name-bomb-factory

Part One of an amazing discovery(to me)in the hills above town..’was told that the soccer stadium(near where I live)used to be the site for a gunpowder factory in the early days…El Polvero…again, unsubstantiated rumors so take it with a grain of #20 (the coarse grain)..

Ron Fortin, our wandering sax player, is back in town…look for him at Ocelot, early Friday night…no word from Nelson, up inna the States…somewhere…the music scene in town is at an all time low altho there’s some kinda happening at San Jose El Viejo Saturday night..8ish..60q per M Tallon..and I’m still blown away by the concept of a Reilly’s in Granada…next? San Jose, Costa Rica? perfecto…around the corner from the Del Rey?

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in what may be a first, local PNC troops nabbed the shooters on 6th sur shortly after it happened this weekend…confirmed by the ever urbane Sr Cervantes and in El Diario today, the shooting was over a woman, a few rounds were fired into a pickup and the cops caught the doer’s a block or so away…a %$#@! miracle of the first degree and a giant tip of the panama to the PNC and Juan Mario who has been the driving force for keeping Antigua safe(er)…if I hadn’t read it and talked with el jefe, i wouldn’t have believed this was possible.. .

still limping a bit after the tumble off Bull’s bike…left knee complaining still, so if you see me with a cane, that’s why…stuff happens when you get old: the right knee goes, the left knee goes and then the weenie…fill in the blanks..and i’m gradually getting used to an extra 15 minute walk and living in a different area…it’s all good, just different, being around trees, grass and plants…’nature boy’ stuff..’having a kitchen the size of my old bathroom, etc..

had a different kind of question asked tonight…are there Rotarians in town? being a practicing sexagenerian, i had to stop and think(always difficult)…why, yes..i know of one..Gerald Leech of  Casa de Jade on 4th Calle…do I look like the Shell Answer Man? guess so..(old tv ad)…seemed to be a quiet night in town, just another slow monday night…walked..no, stumbled into DV for a word with the two Claudias’..incandescent is the adjective…plumb bob, aka robt wheat off to roatan shortly…west end…yeah, he’ll probably run into carla the berryhill, who last heard of was snorking by day and bartending barefoot by night…no, ‘snorkeling’…snorking? the last time i snorked involved two  railroad tracks of bolivian marching powder….’snork!’

and thank you, Rich Neel, for the idea about local publishing..i’ve disdained(poo-pooed it)but i may be changing what’s left of my mind..it solves some logistical problems (finding mules to smuggle it) and so on..good god, is this what i’ve been reduced to, smuggling booklets? from guns, drugs, jewelry and gems to a stinkin’ booklet that isn’t even pornographic? apparently so..

and yes, the smoke hasn’t cleared from the meltdown on 5th and the deal from hell…i’m sick of the gossip, frankly Scarlett..I like both of the players but if one of them isn’t in contact with reality, this brings further questions which would require massive amounts of medication…let’s see…is it Meykos or Ivori that delivers to your home? where’s the number? as Wendy Wever once said, call 1-800-Tequila…’hope she’s fine and learning to talk turkey..the PNC? got their perps the same night? a miracle of the first magnitude…

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good god..is it only thursday? left here Tuesday to the City for a bus…a good bus but the station is in Zone One…homeless, street people and one addled hooker with her ‘assets’ hanging out of her sweater…artfully cut holes to display the goodies but at noon she was hammered, swaying and in no shape to do much of anything..and it was raining like hell..

‘got to Retalheleu about 6pm…’checked into a halfway decent hotel: note to travelers…Moon Guidebooks are out of synch..phone/email..cha cha..’found the La Torre Supermercado around the corner…wooohooo!…Reu isn’t much of a town, aside from the town square..cabbies aren’t interested in working, the hotel staff are lackadaisical…further note..for current cab fares to Takalik Abaj, ask me…Moon’s #’s are absurd…Take-a-Lick? outstanding, outrageous and now one of my top 3 sites in central america…’got the inside tour by the archeologists, complete with cops with guns/bikes…blew me away, again, over and over..i’m whipped and my head is spinning with all i heard and saw..will download photos tomorrow..’blew outa there this morning, got a police tuk-tuk down the hill, gypsy cab to Reu…rhymes with feo…got a 2nd rate old grayhound bus…more about that and then at Esquintla(that dirty hell hole)a chicken bus back to A-Town..yep, got to have a wish answered..’wonder what Alotenango looks like?’…answer…dog shit…don’t bother..lost my fave old money clip(with 200+q)between the mercado and home…screw..not the bucks..the memories of the clip….dropped into DV…had a shot of rum..medicinal, you know…and per Luis Miguel, Claudia #3 is still working..monday tuesday…’ran into John H, working out travel plans with an African group…sounds good for all concerned..and of course, he knew all about Take-a-Lick…I’ll be writing a series on Take-a-lick…it’s incredible..filled both cameras with images, notebooks fulla stuff..ate well, on site…bit rough quarters but the price was right(free) I’m crashing early tonight…a long sweaty day on the pacific coast: think about how a chicken bus, originally designed to hold 40 students, becomes crammed with 80+…and we’re all sweating…more tomorrow, when this reality settles in.. 

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can be damned good….as long as its in cash…no clues(typical)for whatever plans the City may have for New Year’s Eve on 5ta norte…altho the los arcos hotel is ad vertising rooms(WTF?) 

only in Antigua

 

 they’re not AAA, nor AA….they’re the A team, in action…the town is packed, early diners everywhere(except the I place) check out the new slogan/phrase over the entrance at Ocelot….

yeah, la Prensa said there’s not gonna be any movin’ and shakin’ on that street, but who reads? who’s gonna enforce it? the Tourist Police, the PNC or the …..fill in the blanks…’given the dispersal of recent events, Dos Reilly’s will be a flash point, Ocelot, El Muro and Peter the G’s ‘underground rooftop’…love the image…Panza V offering some kinda ‘ring in the chimes’…100q…Monica’s Jungle will definitely be a party…alas..Sangre…what the hell is their business plan, other than losing money?…bring back the babes..Frida’s passing out flyers advertising some kinda fireworks gimmick (work on  your hot sauce)

 

I don’t get it

JB/Bill “Crash” H off to play golf…2X a week…bums…wives do the work probably…hey..that’s a good business plan: all mine ever did was to figure out new ways to spend money…so…the fireworks? where/when? no one has the same answer…typical antigua…the Kevin Warner blues Band…rocked Reillys/O-lot…i’ve been told….I did hear he and Hector jamming at Riki’s a year ago…He, Hector and Nelson will be doin’ a Nude Years Eve gig at O-lot…Antigua’s losing a beautiful lady next month…blonde, dresses to kill..no word of an incoming lass that’s equally smashing…’good thing i’m on a semi/sabbatical from beautiful women…yeah, ran into ‘her’ last week…lost weight and was sober..weird, almost didn’t recognize her..I knew I shoulda shipped one of these…

‘next time a procession goes by my door….open the gate, light it off and watch the spectators shit their pants..hmm, nice visual…mierda sagrada! i s’pose, should the moment seize me, there’s always the flare pistol…’here’s one for Jesus!’ don’t they know that i’m a bishop in the universal whatever church?…memory stick has run outa ram…go out and practice tonight…tomorrow night will be rock n roll… 2010…what a f%$#@ year…let it go out with a bang…oops…wrong metaphor…well, maybe, just one or two.

 

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but someone’s gotta do it(and I volunteered)…don’t expect much for the next few days per my absence to the pacific side of this land…’taking off for a couple of days of semi-rest following the Honduras run…between the bad blow, lame strippers and rigors of Roatan, a suggestion was made by she of the infectious laugh that I join her and her family at the coast for a few days…ergo, I go, with laptop in case I feel the need to work. Butt-Man will return to the illogical nature of current events, laws and scandals later…The Mezcal Project is completed, the martini shaker/ingredients are ready for transport and I s’pose that the black leather shoulder holster will just have to clash with the white linen jacket….fine, report me to the Fashion Police. I”ll be in Bungalow #8. Knock twice….ah…here’s the police in action…

Up against the wall!

Up against the wall!

and a good thing…rumor has it that Panza Verde was robbed two weeks ago…some low-rent robbers apparently came in before noon and went after the previous night’s receipts…as if…assuming that they’d thought this through, they might have come to the conclusion that most of the action is via credit card. Yes, PV is at the end of 5ta Sur and the getaway route is better for a variety of roads…but..I’da picked a place that cranks serious $$$ in cash…Reilly’s, for example, or Cafe No Se…cash only. A bit harder of a nut to crack(especially Reilly’s with the guard at the door)but definitely more lucrative…Nim Pot or Fridas? ah, well…stick up artists aren’t usually at the top of the food chain…usually at the bottom of the gene pool but at least they don’t have to worry about getting caught, much less going to the slammer.

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The Tobacco Police are in the streets tonight…some 333 agents are circulating, looking for warm ashtrays and bad breath. Will they be in uniform and if so…looking like what? or are they undercover?….more likely. ‘Up against the wall…spread ’em…assume the position!’  No ifs, ands or butts. The country can’t find its ass with both hands, the politicians regularly assault the public pubis and no one gets more than a slap on the wrist. How is it that murderers, thieves, politicians and rapists(is there a difference?)are never caught, apprehended, arrested, charged and sent up for a hundred years? And the government can assign 333 butt-police to stamp out the evilness of that Honduran herb that mysteriously is sold over the counter everywhere?  Tobacco, damn it…not the other herb. I will sleep better tonight, knowing that my rights are being protected, my health and well-being is at the top of the government’s list and that there are enforcement agents acting on my behalf at this very moment, crushing the dirty swine and social deviants that comprise this filthy group of malcontents and crypto-narcoleptic-social democrats. Semper Tyrannis.

Which leads to a great local newspaper, AntiguaNetNews.net…everything a local paper should be… and breaking the story about some local counterfeiters…’busted with the plates and printer cartridges, two well-nourished Salvadorean girls were led away in chains. One of them has a husband who was arrested on the same charge last year…’arrested, tried and convicted: sentenced to a whopping 90 days and released, his debt to society paid. Insanity rules and the clowns run the circus…sometimes I forget that.   Hey, 100 quetzal notes are worth about $12.50 right now…if you print up 20 lbs worth($1,000,000 in 100’s) we’re talking $100K plus…hmm..if you pass ten a day…forget about it.

This is a lame end to the week, of which it has been tulmultous(good)…the wheels turn and they haven’t come off(always a good thing). The beach next week for a couple of days…the pace is killing me…’really glad I wasn’t in Roatan for the ‘quake. Alas, no seamy/seedy photos…maybe, just one?

I'm not that kind of nurse

I'm not that kind of nurse

 Leah, at Hector’s, wasn’t feeling well and left early…The Hector Show kicked in…’did’t miss a beat and liked it, orchestrating every move and introduction without missing a beat. It is truly neat to see a professional at work…fine, the quiche wasn’t heated all the way thru and it was yesterdays….who cares? Projects are being wrapped, stuff is being printed and life oozes forweird.

 

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