Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘scooters’

the sailor comes home from the sea, having had his fun, visiting the ports of call and then….the ‘treatment’….post naval drip?  sorry…the humor goes wierd sometimes, almost as wierd as this evening….fusion2…working, serving, alex looking happy…el muro…folks at the bar and the back room, playing pool or whatever…the guy in the WPP and his trusty sidekick…per john, monday nights are now poker nights(poker in the rear, liquor in the front)….its a slogan waiting for a t-shirt…

blink 182/matchbox 20

so….ocelot…music X 2…first guy, part of a 4 person band called ‘atonement’…got the stevie nicks lookalike blonde groupie and the sounds of  blink 182/3 doors down…after 2.5 hours, it all sounded the same..he’s good,but…enough, already…poor ‘mano el gato de la calle’…his words, not mine…tattoos, the jethro hillbillies hat and some dreadlocked groupies also waiting to hear his act…i bailed…long talks with Ximena and Hector, who was out, making rounds…he declined to stay and play bass..i understand it…Reilly’s quiet, as was Cashbar…not to say empty, but close..neil craig, checking in…home and says he’s doing okay..people checking in to show up next thursday(no, not tomorrow night)…dammit…next time leave the scooter and taxi home,  eh?

mano el gato de la calle

‘re the articles…it was an assignment….nothing personal….a tempest in a pee pot…take a deep breath…eh?…yes, i know, it’s big bucks…Bill Harriss of La Pena del Sol, also taking  a dump on his….no, wrong word/visual…involved in a clash of wills between his moto and a car…the car won, Bill…broken clavicle(no, not clavichord) requiring a couple of screws to put him back together…funny, that might put me back together…anyway, ixnay on the golf and congos for a while

Read Full Post »

*disclaimer…this is a compendium of weirdness, but “when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”(Hunter S. Thompson)

Whilst doing advanced field research in the Cafe No Se last night on the quaffability of John’s mezcal, the conversation at the bar turned to the latest seizure of some serious weaponry on the coast, which included the usual machine guns, bazookas and other necessary accessories of your average drug lord…but what the hell were they doing with Claymore anti-personnel mines? were they mail ordered from Bombs Are Us?..then you’ve gotta find someone who knows which wire goes where…and then, are we gonna road-test one or two? Or do you just invite your other narco-cowboys over for ‘show and tell’? ..’maybe chop a few lines on ’em, just for the thrill of it all?

Maybe Ignacio can explain it

Maybe Ignacio can explain it

You know, it gets a bit weird here…a new gun law that says you can only carry a maximum of three items(breakfast, lunch and dinner models?)and daily violations of the one-person/one scooter/no cell phone use while driving thing…and they drive one-handed down the cobble stone streets, no helmet, blithely blathering away…blah blah blah…it is too early for mezcal? I think my mind has been mezzed with. May I go to my room now?

The Assassin's Model

The Assassin's Model

 Maybe its all just inexplicable, much like the Canadian accused of passing swine flu to his pigs…did he put lipstick on first? did he ask for el mano del puerco?

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

Further evidence of the decline and fall of  the House of Curry…aka El Palacio de India…their long time core group of Thursday night meetings of the Curry Club were observed  at Pushkar, the new adjunct to Culinaria on 6ta norte…will it all be just another flash in the paan? will they try to curry favor? will they do their hindu/voodoo magic?…its okra with me, either way. 

For those of us who wander the streets,  either by day or by dark, there are a few chuck-holes/huecos scattered about the avenidas and calles of Antigua…and the occasional tourist on crutches as evidence that they’re not paying attention to the obstacle course. I haven’t heard of any ‘slip and fall’ lawsuits but that’s probably only a matter of time. Here are three infamous little pot holes to avoid:

crutch material

crutch material

hole of pain

hole of pain

 

 

 

 

And the winner is….
El Hueco Grande!

El Hueco Grande!

Located a few steps south of el Pollo Campero on 5ta Norte is this mineshaft of misery….
Random Thought of the Day…is there aftershave lotion in the afterlife?
The Assassin’s bike of choice….or is it just macho marketing and they’re taking their best shot?
Honk twice when you're reloading

Honk twice when you're reloading

Last, if not least…the cops breaking into a car in broad daylight?…nah, couldn’t be, not in Antigua.  Maybe they left the donuts inside.
work with me here, Jose...the heat's gonna ruin the glazed specials.

work with me here, Jose...the heat's gonna ruin the glazed specials.

In honor of Earth Day, let us consider a new slogan for the city….Keep Antigua Green!
(bring money)
For the final insult to injury, let us consider the haiku of pastry and pain:
As you ramble thru life, whatever your goal…keep your eye on the donut and not on the hole.

Read Full Post »

Fine…I somehow missed a day(hey, its Gautemala) and I was out in the bush(not the strip clubs)doing field research on the rivers up north. However, that said, I did celebrate in my own fashion and installed a new chinese-made plastic shower curtain, wrapped in plastic and…hopefully, the toxins/bad chemicals haven’t eaten my brain…Go Earth! Eat Dirt! Be One with the Planet!

A Dump for Jesus

A Dump for Jesus

Here's one for you

Here's one for you

 

So….can anyone identify these public dumps? it appears, from random research and strolls about town, that churches are the main recipient of casual pissing and nocturnal night soil deposits…por que? is this some kind of karmic catholic thing? are there no other places to drop trousers, let the wind blow thru one’s drawers and leave a sign of faith? ..here’s dumping on/for you, Jesus? One would think(sic)that the powers that be might consider some public rest room/facilities or at least a truck with a water cannon to hose down the sidewalks for those of us who tip-toe around the latest leavings on the altars of the all-mighty…

 

On other fronts, a word with Frank from NimPot re the idea of converting the various bars/restaurants to Maximon shrines…Yes!  can do, just need some Mayan priests to do the blessings and thence…take a hike, get outa my face and let me practice my religion per the Constitution…’smoke ’em if you got ’em and take your laws over the hill…similarly, as regards the recently passed law against more than one on a moto…supposedly to cut back on the assassination squads(sicarios) who drive up alongside the victim, let off a burst of 9mm and thence scoot on their scooters..it makes no sense at all for those who use a very inexpensive form of transportation to work, school and the market…if they’re really serious, bust those who are talking on mobile phones while driving their Vespas or cheap chinese knock-offs. The shooters are just culling the herd and serving as Nature’s clean-up crew.  Remember, only dopes do dope.

Okay…enough for Earth Day…tomorrow is just another Dirt Day…Friday is probably a Scum Day and so on…further fulminations to be produced regarding the ubiquitous holes in the sidewalks, those broken water meter covers that never get replaced and provide a never-ending source of income for the medical people and the crutch-suppliers for the unsuspecting tourists. Film at 11..

Read Full Post »

What the hell was I thinking?

What the hell was I thinking?

Ok..fine, the last day of incense, Romans, countrymen and purple dudes…there was even a purple Barney figure at the fountain in Central Park but I couldn’t figure out if there were any religious connection…’bless you Barney, go forth and grin no more?’

It appears, from the wastes on the streets and the corners of buildings, that Antigua is short on public rest stations, aka Porta-Potties…no shit, you may say..well, out of my door, there’s plenty to go around….the horse-drawn carriages have to retrofit their caballos…you know, those white plastic butt-bags? If that’s so important to the civic pride of this fair burg, then perhaps something for the errant caballeros whose leavings are left in the dark corners of the calles? ‘a tasty logo, a catchy slogan and a designer-quality plastic bag? There’s a PR campaign just waiting to happen: “I Left My …… In Antigua”..perhaps Ricky Martin…”Living La Vida Ca-Ca”?

The Unknown Restauranteur, heading back for the Big Apple in a few weeks(ain’t love grand?)is thinking seriously of closing his business next year during Semana Santa. Per the UR, the parking/people/’can I use your bathroom’ requests don’t make staying open particularly attractive. Yes, he’s at Ground Zero for the processions and the business is good but the headaches aren’t worth it….cold Fusion ought to glad to hear this, since even they have been seeing customers(a rare sight).

The Hunchbacks of Antigua

The Hunchbacks of Antigua

Does this qualify as child abuse? Can you say ‘double hernia?’ ‘Jesus Christ! this sucker is heavy.’ They should have known that Jesus is a heavy dude…and lastly…

All Hail the New Moto Law!

Right…another law on the books to protect people from themselves, improve the quality of life and make Guatemala the envy of the civilized world…No More Than One Person on a scooter/motorcyle! right, as if…let’s see…we’ve got the ‘no cell phone while driving rule’, and a few other asinine uninforceable rules and regulations…visualize this: the usual three people on the Piaggio, one smoking and the other on the ‘phone…forget about helmets: ‘up against the wall, hands in the air’…oh, and its a 1000 q fine. Next month there’ll probably be a restriction on how many people can ride in a pickup truck(I saw 12 this morning…four in the cab, eight in back) Where are the police?  (‘knocking back latte’s from the Condesa) 

Read Full Post »