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Posts Tagged ‘strip clubs’

You probably don’t want to look up the definition….ah, the rains, the buses of kids brought into town, the crowds…and this is just the beginning of a LONG holiday weekend…get to the bank/atms now, before the money is drained and you’re sucking by Monday (money-wise, that is)

if and I repeat if, the reported number of registered ‘sex workers’ (234)in Antigua alone(I asked that specific question)is valid and…and there’s another group of….uh, free lancers, are they tuning up for the festivities?

discounts, ‘specials’…again, I’ve been told that around the evening,  Burger King and the hotel across the street, plus the little park between Antigua/Joco…well, you tell me…I’m busy…screwing with the so-called printers in this town, who don’t answer…’yeah, I’ve got copies of your last book cover and yes, I’ll sell them’….right…how about a price, dipshit?..o gee, forgot to include a price…

Per Neil of Micho’s there’s a storm blowing in from the Pacific side, thru Sunday…o fine..perfect for tomorrow’s little overnighter in Monterrico with HBT (with side trips to special places only he knows about)…right, no camera, for this trip..

Sobremesa/Pappy’s BBQ teaming up with the Mimosa Mamas for a two day brunch blow out…11-2, Sat/Sun..expect me there for Sunday, assuming that HBT doesn’t get me thrown in jail for whatever…and 3pm, sunday, Reilly’s La Esquina for a photo shoot of ‘Corn Hole’…whatever that is but I’m loading up with fresh batteries..’went by early for a look at Fusion/Nido Antigua’s art exibition….spel chuk..exabition? exibition…screw it…showing, ok? ah…ok, but not great..no prices, no red stickers for ‘sold’ marks…gimme panza verde, ok?

and yes, another triumph of  ‘hope over experience’….that little cafe spot around the corner from…corner of 1ist calle-6th avenida, the scene of many disasters…? yep, new faces, looking at signs(not good) and dreaming of making it big in Antigua…and another vain attempt, next to the perfume shop on 5th calle, across from organica? more dreams waiting to crash…

and yes…mold, again? yep….

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I heard it yesterday but it was too strange….’thought I’d verify it(yes, something different)so I spoke with the doctor, the official ‘p….ker checker’ this morning…yep, 234 registered ‘sex workers’ in Antigua…234! I’d imagined that my sources had bumped the number by a factor or 50 or 75%….nope…234, of which over 34 are males…

where do ‘they’ hang out (so to speak)? a friend mentioned that he’d been propositioned last week by a ‘lady’ in a nearby park, who asked a question i’ve never heard of(and I thought I’ve heard them all)….’Would you like to molest me?’…..well, maybe, depending…god, this town never fails to amuse me…

of the 25 copies of ‘A Year of Driving Dangerously’ , printed this week, now down to 1….whoopee! whiskey for my horses, etc..

the ever marvelous Marbel, working 2 or 3 shifts a week at Reilly’s La Esquina…next shift…6pm, Saturday should you wish to gaze upon the very tasty Miss M(I might make that time, depending)…yeah, Lex working at Ricardo’s Tabacos y Vinos…changes abound, like Travel Menu…expanding into the space next door, where there’s a grill so they can really cook…food, you know

‘heard that Las Vibras fish tacos are great….but how big can the f……king taco be to hold a fish, unless it’s a minnow or guppie…speaking of fish, the koi in the pond where i live are supposedly being bombed by bats at night…the guard pointed out what might be nicks in their heads/backs where the bats have swooped down…yeah, I’ve noticed bats at night (in several bars) but not whacking the fish…do we need a Bat Signal on the finca? 234? yeah, confirmed by the doc…you want her name? I have it…

Pat Farrell! back in town, for who knows how long….the extraordinary gorgeous Tanya Hughes, gracing Ocelot and Lava with her presence…how did she get even more beautiful? who cares? only here for a week..alas

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Campbell’s…right, the  high point of this weeks’ jaunt to the ‘sailor’s port’ of Puerto San Jose, the cane fields of Bilbao and Monument 21…it turned out that this is a good time to wander around the cane fields looking for Mayan carvings. The fields are dry and the cane is low, providing good visibility…yeah, Hill Billy Tom is credited with spotting the elusive carved stone.

PSJ? hot/humid, buzzing with folks on motos….cant’ say that I advise driving at night with HBT….his night vision is lousy, the cracked windshield in the Ford truck doesn’t help and there are other ‘factors’….we did, however, find the ‘new and improved;’ Bamboo Room, now known as El Talisman…didn’t find the Millenium or the Las Vegas clubs, nor the other ‘places’ that HBT had been to..we kinda swore an oath, that ‘what happens in Puerto San Jose, stays in Puerto San Jose’, so any specific details of events/conversations or observations will not be reported here.

the hotel was perfect, the weather hotter than hell…the dancers at El Talisman sweated a lot and in general, the place was a vast improvement over the old Bamboo Club..and I’ll punch out a few words/photos about the monument 21 in the field..only one narrow miss/gut-wrenching moment when riding with HBT, doing the ol passing uphill/curve/narrow  bridge routine.

In a week from now, it’s off to Guanajara, the little village over the river from Gualan and a hide-out from the looniness of Semana Santa here in Antigua…there may be seats open for this run, as it, somehow, isn’t sounding attractive to the usual crew…c’mon..what’s a few rounds of random gunfire at night? thankfully, at least to me, I have an extra box of ammo that needs ‘field testing’…and given the dud rounds from the previous source, this is a good chance to…er..be one of the boys? from what I’ve heard, gunfire and holes in the  roof are standard behavior there..and the Campbells soup reference? a LaTorre Supermercado in PSJ…

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the rain…drizzle drizzle…kept me in(and probably just as well, you say)..however the Bacardi Anejo and espresso kinda make up for it.

 

Walter Fischer and his partners, who picked up Juan Carlos’ defunct Antigua Bus Tour, have repainted the bus(his says they’re adding another 3) and…so on and so on..the bus is being seen driven around town, which is a start.

And you thought that times are hard? my favorite newspaper vendor is selling off her personal jewelry…lotta silver, some gold

 

So? the 2nd or 3rd Festival de Maiz (Corn Fest) that I’ve been to…I ran into an ex-INGUAT official who didn’t know anything about it…I asked an Antigua-born guide about it..zip, nada..for people who are in the tourism business, one would assume, etc.

news from our wandering troubador, Nelson Lunding..he’s way up on the northern california coast, in places that few of us have ever been to, much less heard of..#1..point Arena? #2 Gualala?..I know ’em both..big deal, right? WTF in either case..too far south to pick up any of the Emerald Triangle aka dope biz from Humboldt..who knows?

the ‘Perfessor aka Mike Donley, checking in from the Pacific northwest…says he’s ‘sold’ his boat’…o please, God…the two happiest days for a boat owner are the day they buy it and the day they sell it..s’posed to be back in A-Town around the end of October and a good thing…at least two ‘professional women’ have confused the two of us…as being the one and same…since my hands are clean, my conscience clear, it’s gotta be him..

final thoughts on a rainy Friday night and a conversation with a pub owner re: nightlife..the Three Aces in Hyderabad, Athens/Mykonos, the Bulldog/Amsterdam, El Gato Tueto/Havana, Lips/San Salvador, Hotel Del Rey/San Jose, Club Exotic/Reykejvik, The Library, ‘Vegas, (fuggedabout Crazyhorse II), Patpong Street, Bangkok, Copa de Oro, Juarez and for local color, Club Exceso in Xela..Antigua well never catch up or come back to what it might once have been: get over it. The Beige Patrol runs it. 

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usually in a .22 or .32 caliber…not here…gotta have a 9mm or an AK-47….a murder this morning at 4am or such in San Felipe…and those pesky Mayan ladies banned from the park for selling their goods? even though they’ve been paying 300q a month for the privilege?   get this town cleaned up!….’heard that the Arms Museum is going into the Palacio…also heard an earful or two about Da Mayor’s track record/baggage/history….7 farmacias, a finger in the tuc-tuc biz and exactly how much is 27 million quetzals in $USD? my calculator gagged on the numbers..I’d been thinking(sic) that it was around $300-$400k but Taz/Plumb Bob said it was in the ‘millions of dollars.’..

likewise assumed that…’assume equals ass-u-me’…perfect’ that Jason was back per his green Triumph Bonneville parked in fromt of O’lot…wrong, scotch-breath…Taz riding/using it..the ever delightful Miss E providing biting social comments…observations..

an observer/reader of this raggedy ass excuse complained/observed that it’s lame/puerile/dumb and not much…right! of course!..never was, never will be and not intended to shine any light or provide anything more than a dim light into the corners of what used to be my mind and my daily experiences in town…like walking into Elle and Mo in the park earlier…they leave tomorrow and back to Canada/Toronto…it was a great week for them and now…married? the real adventure begins! jeez..’gives me the chills thinking about starting a new relationship, much less a legal deal like marriage..but hey, they’re young and in love: me, I’m just jaundiced/cynical. And one of our local bar owners asked why I’m never around about midnight, to see a different part of Antigua’s nightlife..

dude..think about it: Antigua’s night life is lame, slow and the highpoint is either dancing on the bar or getting your ass thrown out, into the street. At 68, I’ve done twice this shit, from Bangkok to Amsterdam, San Salvador to Costa Rica..where the drugs are better, the clubs are better and the women more beautiful…don’t get me wrong: this is my home and I like it, just the way it is…lame, slow and charming…two of which words describe me(A and B)..tomorrow? the Box Dudes provided reasonable facsimiles! progress, Guatemalan style..a map of Antigua is in the next print version and I’ll stick it in the next Amazon version..whoopee, right?..

it’ll be semi-amusing to see who shows up for the Pub Quiz at Ocelot tomorrow night..

 

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or a medium-rare…I’m in the midst of a “Pink Slime’ article and the more I read, the more my stomach turns: Guatemala is lucky in that we can watch the butcher cut off the chunk and then stuff it into the grinder…what’s next ‘up there?’..right, the 3 governors are doing stand-up comedy routines trying to put this fire out..rotsa luck…

that subject started a round of disgusting comments at the 5 o’clock meeting of the 4 Mousketeers and it only went sideways from there…thanks, Reed, for the Costa Rica angle, which led to the following(unfit for most readers but it did make the front page of the India Times)

 http://www.bootsnall.com/articles/09-01/night-del-ray-costa-ricas-most-famous-brothelhotelcasino.html

and you wonder why I sometimes write under a ‘nom de plume?’ i guess whatever ‘cover’ i thought i may have had is now ‘blown’…so to speak..the latest version of “Our Obscene Man etc’ is now out..no, not THAT kind of out…out/about with my little black shoulder bag, schlepping copies hither, thither and yon: people! buy up/out those older versions so we can all restock($$)manana, eh?…mentioned to Reed that I have just enough frequent flier miles to get from her…here to San Jose(CR)…will i ever grow up/go back? hey, if i did, it would only be to re-test my roulette system(trust me)and no, i’m not posting any photos..ask and ye may shall receive…

‘seems that i’ve become a user/abuser of tuk-tuks, now that i live a bit further out..yeah,i’m older but the spine still takes a licking(don’t go there)…well, maybe..one of our bar owners raging-ranting at another bar tonight…in rare form…ah! Mary spotted! long timee no see…with RT2…Robto de Oro likewise…hows Barb? scheduled for serious surgery on the 6th, if i recall(and not much, thank you) Alzheimer’s friendly, that’s me…meet new people every day….they(whoever ‘they’ are)are still whipping on the old Reilly’s space on upper 5th…what’s it gonna be? dunno..typical..Sangre’s reopened and did something in the far rear..no, back…’rear’…don’t go there..there seems to be a lot  of innuendos in this post…but then, again..innuendo is the italian word for suppository, and yes…i’m going to my room now.

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pollo de la calles? ever walk by La Merced and see the flock of pigeons?  their numbers were severely reduced on Monday morning following two days of vendor action per the processions…makes me wonder about that ‘chicken’ on the grills?

or if you were downtown in the early evening, ‘purple haze’..’checked into Lava/O’lot about 5 or so..barely moving(staff)and cleaning up from last night’s advanced course on debauchery/bad behavior…Alex of Sobremesa, who’s 3rd anniversary last yesterday, reported that he didn’t close till 3am and even then was turning away people.
yep, folks…the processions are upon us…jezus on a stick et al: i’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…we need Mardi Gras stuff…Brazilian style and not just the Venetian Masked Ball….I’m talkin’ feathers, gyrations and skin and lots of it…yeah, I know that Antigua is sedate, safe and stodgy: the owners of Le Club in the City could easily bring their dancers over for a few ‘twists and shouts’….toss out some airline bottles of Zacapa, not that I’ve ever been in Le Club….well, it’s been a couple of years..my AARP card was declined there.

it’s all okay: the town is packed with weekenders and tourists, the shuttles are shuttleing like busy little bees and last night’s hangover is a dim memory, assuming that any memory still exists…me, I’m outa RAM and there’s no updates available.

‘spoke with my 94 year  old mom this morning(her birthday)and she asked about St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in Guatemala…mum…only in bars that serve gringos..I’m still not sure about Sangre’s semi-opening last night…one would hope that our two magazines who publish their ads got paid…if you recall, the departure of ‘the boys’ left some unpaid bills here and there..and I hate ‘accounts receivable’…C.O.D and I don’t mean Call on Dad..

Robbin of B5 outa town til next week…’been reading Hemingway and the references to absinthe have got me thinking(sic)…look for some kinda hazy, spacy article in a week or so..or call me absinthe minded, as if i had one..

tomorrow? up at the crack of dawn…no, she left earlier…go to town and hound my printer..the sea shipment is probably part of the custom agents snafu…screw..paid shipping/taxes/costs up the ying yang and now this?..arrange a meeting tuesday with the marvelous miss m and sally forth..wait..that doesn’t sound right…was she fifth? as if..its been so long that i forget who ties up whom…or is it who? in my case, it’s ‘what’…good, the meds just kicked in…more pavlov, por favor… one last sordid thought…why isn’t there a Maximon float/barge? think about it…or don’t…Frank! Nim P’ot! c’mon!…por  que no?

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