Posts Tagged ‘strip clubs’

You probably don’t want to look up the definition….ah, the rains, the buses of kids brought into town, the crowds…and this is just the beginning of a LONG holiday weekend…get to the bank/atms now, before the money is drained and you’re sucking by Monday (money-wise, that is)

if and I repeat if, the reported number of registered ‘sex workers’ (234)in Antigua alone(I asked that specific question)is valid and…and there’s another group of….uh, free lancers, are they tuning up for the festivities?

discounts, ‘specials’…again, I’ve been told that around the evening,  Burger King and the hotel across the street, plus the little park between Antigua/Joco…well, you tell me…I’m busy…screwing with the so-called printers in this town, who don’t answer…’yeah, I’ve got copies of your last book cover and yes, I’ll sell them’….right…how about a price, dipshit?..o gee, forgot to include a price…

Per Neil of Micho’s there’s a storm blowing in from the Pacific side, thru Sunday…o fine..perfect for tomorrow’s little overnighter in Monterrico with HBT (with side trips to special places only he knows about)…right, no camera, for this trip..

Sobremesa/Pappy’s BBQ teaming up with the Mimosa Mamas for a two day brunch blow out…11-2, Sat/Sun..expect me there for Sunday, assuming that HBT doesn’t get me thrown in jail for whatever…and 3pm, sunday, Reilly’s La Esquina for a photo shoot of ‘Corn Hole’…whatever that is but I’m loading up with fresh batteries..’went by early for a look at Fusion/Nido Antigua’s art exibition….spel chuk..exabition? exibition…screw it…showing, ok? ah…ok, but not great..no prices, no red stickers for ‘sold’ marks…gimme panza verde, ok?

and yes, another triumph of  ‘hope over experience’….that little cafe spot around the corner from…corner of 1ist calle-6th avenida, the scene of many disasters…? yep, new faces, looking at signs(not good) and dreaming of making it big in Antigua…and another vain attempt, next to the perfume shop on 5th calle, across from organica? more dreams waiting to crash…

and yes…mold, again? yep….


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I heard it yesterday but it was too strange….’thought I’d verify it(yes, something different)so I spoke with the doctor, the official ‘p….ker checker’ this morning…yep, 234 registered ‘sex workers’ in Antigua…234! I’d imagined that my sources had bumped the number by a factor or 50 or 75%….nope…234, of which over 34 are males…

where do ‘they’ hang out (so to speak)? a friend mentioned that he’d been propositioned last week by a ‘lady’ in a nearby park, who asked a question i’ve never heard of(and I thought I’ve heard them all)….’Would you like to molest me?’…..well, maybe, depending…god, this town never fails to amuse me…

of the 25 copies of ‘A Year of Driving Dangerously’ , printed this week, now down to 1….whoopee! whiskey for my horses, etc..

the ever marvelous Marbel, working 2 or 3 shifts a week at Reilly’s La Esquina…next shift…6pm, Saturday should you wish to gaze upon the very tasty Miss M(I might make that time, depending)…yeah, Lex working at Ricardo’s Tabacos y Vinos…changes abound, like Travel Menu…expanding into the space next door, where there’s a grill so they can really cook…food, you know

‘heard that Las Vibras fish tacos are great….but how big can the f……king taco be to hold a fish, unless it’s a minnow or guppie…speaking of fish, the koi in the pond where i live are supposedly being bombed by bats at night…the guard pointed out what might be nicks in their heads/backs where the bats have swooped down…yeah, I’ve noticed bats at night (in several bars) but not whacking the fish…do we need a Bat Signal on the finca? 234? yeah, confirmed by the doc…you want her name? I have it…

Pat Farrell! back in town, for who knows how long….the extraordinary gorgeous Tanya Hughes, gracing Ocelot and Lava with her presence…how did she get even more beautiful? who cares? only here for a week..alas

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Campbell’s…right, the  high point of this weeks’ jaunt to the ‘sailor’s port’ of Puerto San Jose, the cane fields of Bilbao and Monument 21…it turned out that this is a good time to wander around the cane fields looking for Mayan carvings. The fields are dry and the cane is low, providing good visibility…yeah, Hill Billy Tom is credited with spotting the elusive carved stone.

PSJ? hot/humid, buzzing with folks on motos….cant’ say that I advise driving at night with HBT….his night vision is lousy, the cracked windshield in the Ford truck doesn’t help and there are other ‘factors’….we did, however, find the ‘new and improved;’ Bamboo Room, now known as El Talisman…didn’t find the Millenium or the Las Vegas clubs, nor the other ‘places’ that HBT had been to..we kinda swore an oath, that ‘what happens in Puerto San Jose, stays in Puerto San Jose’, so any specific details of events/conversations or observations will not be reported here.

the hotel was perfect, the weather hotter than hell…the dancers at El Talisman sweated a lot and in general, the place was a vast improvement over the old Bamboo Club..and I’ll punch out a few words/photos about the monument 21 in the field..only one narrow miss/gut-wrenching moment when riding with HBT, doing the ol passing uphill/curve/narrow  bridge routine.

In a week from now, it’s off to Guanajara, the little village over the river from Gualan and a hide-out from the looniness of Semana Santa here in Antigua…there may be seats open for this run, as it, somehow, isn’t sounding attractive to the usual crew…c’mon..what’s a few rounds of random gunfire at night? thankfully, at least to me, I have an extra box of ammo that needs ‘field testing’…and given the dud rounds from the previous source, this is a good chance to…er..be one of the boys? from what I’ve heard, gunfire and holes in the  roof are standard behavior there..and the Campbells soup reference? a LaTorre Supermercado in PSJ…


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the rain…drizzle drizzle…kept me in(and probably just as well, you say)..however the Bacardi Anejo and espresso kinda make up for it.


Walter Fischer and his partners, who picked up Juan Carlos’ defunct Antigua Bus Tour, have repainted the bus(his says they’re adding another 3) and…so on and so on..the bus is being seen driven around town, which is a start.

And you thought that times are hard? my favorite newspaper vendor is selling off her personal jewelry…lotta silver, some gold


So? the 2nd or 3rd Festival de Maiz (Corn Fest) that I’ve been to…I ran into an ex-INGUAT official who didn’t know anything about it…I asked an Antigua-born guide about it..zip, nada..for people who are in the tourism business, one would assume, etc.

news from our wandering troubador, Nelson Lunding..he’s way up on the northern california coast, in places that few of us have ever been to, much less heard of..#1..point Arena? #2 Gualala?..I know ’em both..big deal, right? WTF in either case..too far south to pick up any of the Emerald Triangle aka dope biz from Humboldt..who knows?

the ‘Perfessor aka Mike Donley, checking in from the Pacific northwest…says he’s ‘sold’ his boat’…o please, God…the two happiest days for a boat owner are the day they buy it and the day they sell it..s’posed to be back in A-Town around the end of October and a good thing…at least two ‘professional women’ have confused the two of us…as being the one and same…since my hands are clean, my conscience clear, it’s gotta be him..

final thoughts on a rainy Friday night and a conversation with a pub owner re: nightlife..the Three Aces in Hyderabad, Athens/Mykonos, the Bulldog/Amsterdam, El Gato Tueto/Havana, Lips/San Salvador, Hotel Del Rey/San Jose, Club Exotic/Reykejvik, The Library, ‘Vegas, (fuggedabout Crazyhorse II), Patpong Street, Bangkok, Copa de Oro, Juarez and for local color, Club Exceso in Xela..Antigua well never catch up or come back to what it might once have been: get over it. The Beige Patrol runs it. 

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usually in a .22 or .32 caliber…not here…gotta have a 9mm or an AK-47….a murder this morning at 4am or such in San Felipe…and those pesky Mayan ladies banned from the park for selling their goods? even though they’ve been paying 300q a month for the privilege?   get this town cleaned up!….’heard that the Arms Museum is going into the Palacio…also heard an earful or two about Da Mayor’s track record/baggage/history….7 farmacias, a finger in the tuc-tuc biz and exactly how much is 27 million quetzals in $USD? my calculator gagged on the numbers..I’d been thinking(sic) that it was around $300-$400k but Taz/Plumb Bob said it was in the ‘millions of dollars.’..

likewise assumed that…’assume equals ass-u-me’…perfect’ that Jason was back per his green Triumph Bonneville parked in fromt of O’lot…wrong, scotch-breath…Taz riding/using it..the ever delightful Miss E providing biting social comments…observations..

an observer/reader of this raggedy ass excuse complained/observed that it’s lame/puerile/dumb and not much…right! of course!..never was, never will be and not intended to shine any light or provide anything more than a dim light into the corners of what used to be my mind and my daily experiences in town…like walking into Elle and Mo in the park earlier…they leave tomorrow and back to Canada/Toronto…it was a great week for them and now…married? the real adventure begins! jeez..’gives me the chills thinking about starting a new relationship, much less a legal deal like marriage..but hey, they’re young and in love: me, I’m just jaundiced/cynical. And one of our local bar owners asked why I’m never around about midnight, to see a different part of Antigua’s nightlife..

dude..think about it: Antigua’s night life is lame, slow and the highpoint is either dancing on the bar or getting your ass thrown out, into the street. At 68, I’ve done twice this shit, from Bangkok to Amsterdam, San Salvador to Costa Rica..where the drugs are better, the clubs are better and the women more beautiful…don’t get me wrong: this is my home and I like it, just the way it is…lame, slow and charming…two of which words describe me(A and B)..tomorrow? the Box Dudes provided reasonable facsimiles! progress, Guatemalan style..a map of Antigua is in the next print version and I’ll stick it in the next Amazon version..whoopee, right?..

it’ll be semi-amusing to see who shows up for the Pub Quiz at Ocelot tomorrow night..


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