Posts Tagged ‘strip clubs’

yet again…’decided to back away from the usual vodka…thank you, La Pena del Sol, for the Flor de Cana…what the hell is going on at Cashbar tonight? a giant generator outside, massive electrical cables..Angel, next door at Djinn wondering also…she is such a ‘witchy’ babe…wore the tikka spot tonight..the little red dot on her forehead. On the wedding nights of such Hindu-related events, the groom gets to scratch off the red dot and see if he’s won anything, like a liquor store or a sleazy motel…drum roll, please..

dos Reilly’s doing an early crowd with music…Ocelot humming along with the usual 5 o’clock lush hour group..Robto de Oro and Duane sketching out treasure maps on a napkin(i’ve got one for sale)..barb K in/out of the hospital..minor tumor, if there is such a thing..get better, Barb! we need you acerbic wit/acid tongue…

thank you, scott s…the talk about Peru and the advice about hiring someone with big…uh, ‘assets’…yep..’found her…the first pick who failed to show up on time(even by GST standards)and return a call…later, for you, dude..let’s cross our fingers on the marvelous Marvel…

trying to finger out a way for Jerome of Travel Menu to avoid the casual readers of ‘the book’…gave him an extra copy and a black magic marker…it’s called ‘redacting’…cross out various sections in black ink…buy the f…king t  hing, eh? Sabe Rico and the Cargo Room are signed on for the next onslaught of bookettes..

gawd, what a perfect day/night…this may be the first evening without a fire in the little fireplace in the bedroom..and a good thing, since i did’t pick up firewood today…tomorrow>

the big time charity event at Joe’s Grill in the morning…Ciudad Vieja…25% goes to the American Legion assorted charities around here(all good)..100q, free transportation starting at 11ish in front of El Portal…ribs, chicken, corn on the cob, baked potato, salad, strippers, hookers, lotta drugs…oops..just kidding…wishful..skip the last three, ok? yeah, i’m ‘in’…as mentioned, i’ve heard from more than one person that his hamburgers are superb..

the very very elegant Victoria C working at Jades Antigua on 5th ave norte..night and day…Lex of the Cargo Room showing up early…he liked my long black velvet cape that i wore at the VMB…’told him that he could borrow the brown wig anytime..gotta figure out a way to put him in the next version: is the Cargo Room a bar or a jewelry store?

the exterior of what was Deliciosa on 3rd Calle has been repainted..’guess this means something…you tell me..weird shit #4…got an email from someone who said they’d spoken with me at Travel Menu last night…described the irish barmaid, the book..but the parts of the conversation weren’t correcto…like me describing how i treated my son and his grades..#1..don’t have a son..#2..wasn’t there..#3..WTF?  was my evil twin brother Skippy making rounds last night? nah..he’s still in the Witness Protection Program (I think)

damn…the rum is down to the E mark on the dial..does Meykos deliver? Mono Loco? who ya gonna call? there’s a business plan for someone…Likker Quicker…Rum on the Run…

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that’s what we call a ‘hook’…cuz you gotta wonder what/where…in this case, downtown A-Town and working the crowds, which were huge today…por que? the human chain climbing Volcan Agua, hordes of peoples flooding(driving) into town…the after climb concert still going on at the soccer stadium not far from my new digs…great…amplified bad music…events at the Palacio de Capitanes Generales…maya/2021 stuff and i missed it? yep..bongo fury a few blocks away as they work the crowd in the stadium…lotta eateries doing just fine tonight..walk up, walk down and…damn, i’m hungry..the guard on my place was walking perimeter with two dogs and one shotgun earlier..i’ve co-opted the dobie with two hot dogs today…we’re pals now…the Rott and i are already friends, cuz i bring her fresh tennis balls from the club next door..women: you gotta know their buttons.

‘hoping to see Fred the horseman in the park tomorrow..’been layin’ low lately..repeat after me: ‘she was only the stableman’s daughter but all the horsemen knew her’….’horsemen knew her”  fine…so much for culture..will the ‘music’ never end? Bull says they’re s’posed to quit at 9pm…please..it’s been goin’ all since noon…so much for ‘peaceful and quiet’ San Felipe…in some ways, I shoulda/woulda/coulda done the ‘climb’ today..had to be an epic event…but at my age, ‘epic events’ are getting outa bed and asleep by ten..maybe i could endow a chair at the roulette table at the Del Rey…little discreet brass plaque…’play the 34 split’..no..not ‘her’…the field..well, on 2nd th0ught….maybe the split..and yes…the ‘booklet’ is selling…local consumption is the ‘bottom line’…google Our Man in Antigua and send a copy to someone who’s inbound or wants to know just WTF is goin’ on here..

ack…bad news…Jimmy Three Fingers? the best BBQ in Central America, located(or was)in Granada, Nicaragua? gone…alas…same o Big Wave Dave’s in San Juan Del Sur…world economy claims victims, yet again…go Greece…suckers.. 

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phrase compliments of H.Ross Perot…and where the hell is he? this phrase is in reference to the new Prez Otto, who came out yesterday advocating decriminalizing…drum roll…drugs..since the YouEss of A is the world’s biggest Hoover of blow and meth, consumer of weed and other pharmacological wonders, you gotta wonder…imagine if stuff were legal and taxed? $$$erious dent in the deficit….add penalties like there are for DUI’s but not for possession…the speed freaks die sooner or later…imagine the ad campaigns! Coke: the Real Thing!..Classic Coke…stepped on ten times..is the Big O on board with Mexico(12000 dead in 2011)and Colombia? or is this just a cynical ploy to be coerced into fighting the War on Drugs with those DEA idiots and looking for toys/$$ to sign up? either way, a very bold statement…

the sunsets here are so very short…a flash of orange tinged clouds at 6, gonzo by 6:20…but, better than none at all…Santorini, Hawaii and Arizona…even Manuel Antonio in Costa Rica…the park, the park…the space next to Fusion on 4th calle is getting rehabbed…lotta roof damage and they’re hoping to be open before Easter/Semen Santa…perhaps a bit of a ‘cultural center’ in back..the newly opened Chocolate Museum across the street is getting traffic(foot)…

this Sunday: Finca Azeotea…Azotea…whatever…champagne brunch, 300q per, seth monfort on piano, for a brit ngo children’s foundation…three course lunch/brunch and no, i don’t know what time it starts cuz the embassy didn’t specify it…


for those who spaced/missed this, there were two…yep, 2!, five star reviews of Our Man in Antigua on Amazon.com…as mentioned, i learned to write for my audience a long time ago and this is perfect for eight grade level, two syllable words and the short attention span theatre..and yes, that could well describe me…as usual, the 5 o’clock Lush Hour at Ocelot attracts the evening crowd of assordid animals…’missed it tonight but last night? packed, up and downstairs…the ever delightful Ms E reminding me that I’ve promised to take her shooting…well, i had but the Antigua Shooting Range never quite made it, other than the back page of La Cuadra…’still gotta 100 rounds and a clean, well-lighted..no, well oiled little Beretta that needs to let the hammer fall a few times.. a long time ago, the elusive, seldom seem JR offered a trip to some ‘range’…he’s gotta be around, because the Pirate Radio Guy found him and now has an antenna for broadcasting locally…a whip antenna? sorry, san francisco humor…red light, green light, et cetera..

The new version  of the Venetian Masked Ball coming next month…Ms  A the Delightful and Mona Rose doing it…wonder if PV is missing Ms A? they should…they’ll never find anyone better…the usual crowd of gringos in the park returns from Nicaragua tomorrow…some kinda american legion whoop-te-doo in Granada involving commanders, salamanders and colanders….I passed this year: the 12 hour bus ride from San Salvador to that hell-hole Managua isn’t even tolerable with serious meds/rum/headphones…the on-board videos are crap and the….well, that’s just my opinion…i’d rather go to San Salvador, eat well, slurp some 7 year Flor de Cana and check out the new dancers at Lips (field research)…happy fin de semana…we made it thru another week, more or less. 

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I’m not..lotsa turistas y guatemaltecos in the streets… and some very tasty Capitalinas walkin’ around…maybe the ‘season’ has kicked in and $$ will flow into the various cash boxes of local merchants, saving some from the ignomious end of ….oops, can’t pay the rent, the electric bill….cha cha..

Tono Pullin’s back! passed him in the avenida early..how great to see him…i’ve missed his presence…the all time renaissance man..horses, passion, wine..thanks for the thanksgiving invites..and thank all of you who have extended an invitation to make the choice..’breast or thigh?’….it’s been a life long struggle, which isn’t over.

Piano Mike at O’lot early…Moriah’s  at the beach today/tonight…which means that tonight’s gig will be A or B…PM solo or PM not…I suggested an alternative…Lucy Luscious!

wordpress, aka the net is weird tonight…not my problem..hasta manana..

fine…problem solved with a different photo…what I’d been thinking of (so to speak)was that PM,if he’s short of an entertainer sometimes, break in a new one..aka LL…she has stage presence, charisma and cha cha’s…worse case scenario is that she lip syncs…aka Britney Spears…hell, i’d go watch ’em play..ack! ants in my sugar bowl!…what has four legs and eats ants?  both of my uncles…drum roll…

i’m still trying to figure out the strategy of being the 4th bar in a certain patio..numbers 1 and 2 are nailing the customers, #3 picks up the stragglers, leaving who/what for any leftovers?  kind of similar to Sangre’s most recent ploy…drop in and sign up for free Spanish lessons…wtf? i asked ’em about it and the ‘student’ gets to go to some other location for the lessons..where? the brothels in Joco or Chimaltenango? it certainly is a different ploy/play..if it were me, i’d bring the ‘spanish teachers’ into the bar, let ’em liquor up the customers and adjoin to a nearby cubicle for indepth lessons.  Sangre could then use a new slogan, good for T/shirts…’Liquor in the front, poker in the rear’…jeez, i’m sick..thank god its a sunday and i’m taking the day off…


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Antigua has a golden hour or so, first thing in the morning but…you’ve got to be in the avenidas by 6am, when the streets are clean and the air is fresh. There’s a few walkers and the school girls in their plaid skirts are going where ever it is they go and the muni crew in their green t-shirts are marching with their palm fronds to sweep the central park. If its rained in the night(and it has)there’s a few puddles here and there. The bouganvillea in its intense red/purple hues is almost incandescent, hanging over a wall here, a wall there. By seven am, it all changes: the chicken buses growl, the tuk-tuks snarl and the cars arrive.and arrive…and arrive…the air isn’t so sweet any more..Bodegonas’ open and the delivery trucks do their deliveries..the newspaper vendors look for biz and there’s only two shoe shine folks in the park(so far)..the old guy in the straw hat and one of his younger competitors. Pollo Compero has a line of cars outside, people inside getting their daily ration of salt, fat and carbs, with a little caffeine thrown in. Another day has begun, whether you like it or not. 

Victoria’s Secret has a new WonderBra…called the ‘Rawhide’ model….’rounds ’em up and moves ’em out’…yes, a very obscure reference to Clint Eastwood’s TV climb to fame…as far as Antigua goes, September wasn’t exactly a banner month for biz…if anyone broke even, count yourself lucky and October seems doubtful…hey! Oktoberfest!  bring on the Bud Girls, the Brahva Babes, the Gallo Chicas…dress ’em up in lederhosen(only)and roll out the barrel…

i’m starting to think(so to speak)that i may have a slight case of SAD…seasonal affective disorder per the lack of sun light..the days of gray, doom and gloom are getting to me. LM of DaVinci says he saw the sun today..i didn’t..but i did get to see the lovely Ms C and smooch her hand(twice)hey, i’ll take what i can get..

I’m liking Peter the G’s/El Caminantes approach to entertainment…Feast of the Flesh? yeah…T&A always works…always..speaking of that, ‘walked by Ricardo’s Tabacos y Vinos earlier and noticed an outstanding new addition to his crew…’outstanding’ in every sense of the word..the painters on 5th…the guys doing the watercolors? recently expanding beyond the usual Volcan Agua/Arch stuff and doing some spectacular country scenes…i’d buy one or two but…if you buy from one guy, then you’re stuck unless you also buy from the other guy..

didn’t get the sense from the street vendors that this weekends visitation of cruise ship tourists was a success, but then..no one’s doing a lot of biz…Almacen Broccoli/Troccoli doing better tonight than anyone else..Como Como closed..por que? everyone else doing a deuce here,there..(two to a table)lookin’ like October/Novembers gonna be crunch time for a lotta joints and I don’t mean Captain Crunch…ads being stopped, rents not being paid, lotta places for sale(as if)…hmm..how ’bout a Maximon festival here?  smokin’ and drinkin’…create a look-a-like contest, bring on the Bud Babes…

the sweet smell of a fire tonight, coming out of the Cloisters…felt like winter,somewhere else..the grandmother who does the most excellent empanadas ever…on 4th, out of her street side window..as good as Epicure’s croissants, crust-wise…Ixchel Spanish School opened on 4th norte this weekend..wtf? this end of town is so dead that even the homes offering space to ‘pensionistas’ can’t fill ’em..I’d say that their business is dying but..being a pensionista myself, i won’t go there..

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so..umbrella #4 of the season has given up the ghost..actually the fragile ribs of the 25q model…fine..exciting, eh?

via a long time Antigueno-gringo i heard that he was accosted, approached or asked politely if he might be interested in a couple of sweet young things seen outside of Bodegona last night…afternoon…when asked if he liked them, he said that he liked them both…a good answer…there was one price for the older, a lesser price for the younger and a bonus price for both..outside Bodegona?  naturally, seeking the truth of this or at least a glimpse of temptation, i hied myself off to Bodegona about 5ish…nope…i even showered, and had on fresh clothes…double no…’wasn’t a total loss, as the el cheapo brand of scotch, Highland Worrier, fit nicely in the bolsa…

will the Night of the Knives ever go away? La Cuadra has a version, the British Embassy and the US Embassy has one, the online paper www.plazapublica.com.gt has one, Luke’s CNN article has his take and so on…after going to two days of meetings at INGUAT with Da Mayor, the cops and all…I’m still shaking my head about it all…one thing fer sure, dude…they ain’t caught the perps and the bloodstains on 2nd calle are still faintly visible, a month later…my personal take on it? the guys in the pickups, with the ‘stolen plates’? gang initiation…Mara’s…MS-13, those sweethearts in the city…and another question…for the second time in La Cuadra’s bi-monthly publication cycle, back inside page, is yet another ad for the ‘Antigua Shooting Range’…even for and by Guatemala standards of ‘manana time’ this is lame..if you’re not open, ready for business and so on, etc…unless the ad is free and no one else wants that page..hmm…find the older lady with the two tasty tarts outside of Bodegona and get the phones ringin’..can you say ‘revenue?’Hey! inspiration!…Peter the G…track ’em down and add ’em to the Lucy Luscious Show, as extras..dump the hostel idea…season’s over anyway…ran into Peter the H briefly at Ocelot…waiting out the rain..rotsa ruck..

heard a new word today..a guatemalan word for ‘pain in the ass’…shuco…always amazed at the difference in words in central america, por ejemplo in Costa Rica, hueco refers to the pot holes in the streets..here? faggot..ran into the very tasty Claudia #1 at O-lot briefly, having something at Ixcot with a lady friend…thence off to DV, I s’pose..no takers on her vacant rental property, the ex-Rum Bar…why? the market is hosed, the rental price too high…o, and the location sucks..why are there still two rental spaces available between the guitar shop and un Poco de Todos, across from the park?

one would think, one would..assuming that thinking is required, that someone would snap those spaces up…traffic, exposure, cha cha…pass the scotch…i give up..

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go jeezuz!….woo…wierd Friday night….very very quiet…saw 2 or 3 PNC trucks cruising, triple the usual number…yep, the bloodstains on 2nd calle still there, every so faintly…diamonds in the streets? nope…remnants of broken car windows, usually on the calles..waved to Da Mayor this morning…and he waved back…so quiet…is it because its a holiday for gringos? or because there was some football game on,that every bar had a roomful of Guate’s starring at/ answer equals B…football…go figure…women waiting,looking great and the men? spaced out ,watching dipshits on a playing field…kicking around some ball…La Esquina?  closed, on a Friday night? WTF? another popular 5th ave cafe, behind in rent for 6 months?

El Caminante…slow, almost dead on a Friday nite? no sign of LL…same o same o for El Muro…the Whiskey Den!…WTF with a light show, DJ and bad music at top volume? whose idea was this? I’ll pick up my coffee in the morning,when this shit is over…dumb, totally dumb..worse than the Lounge or Ixnay..Lex” for some minor biz…he does the cooking…and it rocks..Crash and Mary checking out early…golf musta wore him out today…the article in Plazapublico raises some questions,which i’ll address tomorrow..

Per Peter the G, Lucy showed up later…ok..tonight? a reader asked about ‘licensed vs unlicensed’ firearms…i’ve been thru the process and in the end I came to a personal conclusion…’personal’…because if you get popped with an unlicensed gun, it’s a night in jail, and a fine of $1000 q…at the least and you can fuggedabout the handgun….however, if you just happen to have an unregistered piece and you need to drop the hammer, there’s no record on record…’get this?’…the licensing process involved fingerprints and a ballistic test…which means ‘records’ of you and your handgun..re the PNC ‘dance’..tomorrow…the article? mentioned some weird conclusions, some of which are that the cops said the the truck(s)had stolen license plates and came from the City…i’m fine with the stolen plates but how do they know that the trucks were stolen and from the City?  tis also said that the attacks were ‘political’….by whom? Mano Duro arranges a scragging of Antigua to frighten/heighten public fears? opposing political parties? right…Susana Acensio, the blonde Mata Hari/Squeaky Fromme? ‘hey…let’s embarrass Adolfo, scare the tourists and kill the last part of the season’? What is clear is that the news got out, one way or the other, via the Embassy of the US and the Brits, someone I know posted on CNN and there you go..what’s also clear is that there was some kinda news black-out or attempt at such…i have an idea but I’m not goin’ there..the perps haven’t been caught and if if they have…so? so what? its been a very good lesson for me in how things work/don’t work in this country: basically you can get away with pretty much anything…more on how to deal if you’re popped by the cops..later…yeah, I’m ‘unregistered.’

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