Posts Tagged ‘strippers’

kind f a Guatemalan ‘thing’…sing along to the tune of “It’s another Tequila Sunrise” and you’re in tune with the zeitgeist…no…that’s not a fancy word for zither.

Santiago aka Bull Durham’s niece, Margaux? finished 4th in the Women’s Pentathalon! Antigua has a connection to the Games..yeah, i know i was pissing/moaning earlier about the kinds of Olympic sports….as a senor citizen I need to froth/fume and castigate once in a while…let the bad vices…er, vibes disseminate….is disseminate like making deposits at the Sperm Bank?

Scott S and S.O (significant Other)at Club Antigueno this morning, batting the ball around, tennis-wise…Elle P and spouse to be incoming next weekend…reserve spaces/places on the Booze Bus for the afterparty, should one wish..it’ll beat the hell outa staggering down the cobblestones and playing ‘kiss the sky’ later.

call me a ‘cad’…no, not a taxi…more like an apologetic screw-up…but not my screw-up…my usually semi-faithful printer has been promising the August print run of OM…tomorrow, tomorrow…cha cha..finally, on the 3rd return to his office on Saturday morning, I went off…I’m usually not like that but…so, about 2pm or earlier when I was going to get on the Frank Bus and go to Coline’s birthday party..he calls…”I’ve got them and I’ll bring them to your house.” it’s raining like a …….fill in the blanks, I’m still pissed but I stick around to pick up the books..and business cards..christ…what is this place? Guatemala? o yeah..that’s right…where manana is just another word for ‘whenever I f….king feel like it’..I know, I shouldn’t complain…he’s a good Cristo, goes to church 3X a week…wait! maybe that’s the f…..king problem!

‘took Alex of Sobremesa up on his offer of a sample new drinkie-poo…crushed blackberries, sparkling water, cabernet sauvignon, rum, orange and lime juice, with a rimmed stem glass with sugar crystals…outstanding! not too sweet, not too tart…tarts? I’m free-associating again…stop that!

finally…Mama’s in Alex L’s new Nido Antigua space….Mayra’s a dish and the delightful Miss M and i whipped on dessert(she took some flan to go, in case of the midnight munchies)  and lastly…the desert, aside from Ricardo’s, that has become upper 5th avenida..amazing how the life went outa that part of town when Reilly’s bailed…or was bailed outa the space..first Sangre..now Cashbar ?…change the name to Crowbar…i quit…enjoy the weak ahead, as if we had a choice…weak ahead? is there nothing worse than that? blame it on the Q and OJ…’its another tequila sunday’..

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le town is f…..king dead: unless you’re part of a Christian group taking salsa lesions…no, lessons…and obviously not a Baptist/Quaker/et cetera demon..no, denomination that prohibits ‘contact’ or shaking one’s booty…La Sala showing an uptick in attendence: maybe the new decor/menu? whatevah…how the hell does Mito’s, around the corner on 5th ave, stay in business? has anyone ever seen any people in there?…Riki’s? muerto…Cashbar…closed, at least for the night and if it weren’t for Djinn, Sangre would be its usual self aka dead…ha! got an idea for the Consejo and Da Mayor!….if you’ve ever been to Tombstone, Arizona, then maybe you’ve seen the staged shoot-outs on the streets….gunsels in Western garb(clothing) having staged duels…so, here’s the concept…narcos/zetas/betas/sigma chi’s..dressed in black, with a lotta gold chains, cowboy hats and MAC-10s/Uzis..up against our own crime-fighting troops otherwise known as the PNC….acting the parts, of course…schedule a couple of ‘duels in the dust’ on Saturday and Sunday…shooting blanks, with some tasty/toothsome(aka ‘hot’)narco/babes for signing autographs..like it? ‘thought you would..

‘you know, with over 150 places to eat and roughly 500 tourists(Christers, backpackers/spanish school students)the numbers don’t bode well(add up)for the food/bev industry in town, assuming that the number of 500 is close..i think it is but then again you know that math isn’t/wasn’t my strong point.

Scott S/wife/friend in O’lot earlier..Allen working a double shift..O’Lot and then Travel Menu…Robt aka Alabama Bob lamenting the loss of his debit card in the thieves’s paradise known as El Mercado recently and two weeks for a replacement and in the meantime his Guate visa expires in 8 days..Wendy the W going back to Turkey August the 13th, missing the incoming Elle and bride-groom for a celebration the following weekend…MM and new boyfriend cavorting at…love/lust…it must be wonderful…been so long that i forget who ties up who first and yes, Wendy’s unexpected appearance at Angie’s last week did summon up an old expression…”well, f…k me to tears!”…seemed appropriate at the time..

the short lived Antigua City Tour bus is back or at least parked on the square…’spoke with Juan Carlos last week and he said he’d sold the business…’hope this time it works as i thought(sic)that it was a great idea and good for Antigua..and our local plainclothes guy from the PNC,  Juan Mario Cervantes…in a coat and tie in front of El Portal? yep..

and if you’re walking along 6th calle, towards Travel Menu, there’s a BMW/Ford SUV/with California plates parked there..dusty…BMW equals ‘break my window’ which is exactly what happened..rear quarter wing…hello! anyone home? welcome to Antigua! bring money and an extra credit/debit card…

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hell, who knew? thanks, to Korey D for setting me straight on the perversion…no, the conversion rate for the real numbers that Da Mayor is being charged with…uh, appropriating? taking? ….somewhere east of $300000, depending on one’s counting apparatus….mine sucked, obviously….$40000? hah!….he really does have enough $$ to pay his attorneys, unless of course that aforesaid $300K is not around or not in cash….and just how much is a ‘get out of jail free’ card in this town?

Saturday night, last chance to hear/see Nelson the Lunding who departs shortly thereafter for two/three months in the ‘States…Angie Angie’s…8ish? Wayne the Urbane Mr Hooper, Adan the Amazing Cuban on piano, Willie Gomez on guitar..as mentioned somewhere, the music scene in this town is/has shrunk: next we’ll paying to hear the mariachis or there’ll be a three way playoff between the various Andean-style bands who work the park or 5ta…I know, I’m dissing the marimba groups and the Friday 5pm band at the Palacio: maybe if they added go-go girls…white boots, bouffant hair-dos…now, ask yourself the question: how long has it been since you’ve seen a really great bouffant hairdo? oddly enough(don’t ask)there was a time when i can remember taking bets on how many one would see in the course of a day…

and what’s with the new stand  up/brass rail bar in front of Braulios? looks like it’s seen use…another try, another gimmick and it still ain’t workin’…give it up, folks..the Bud Room failed, the Pangea sign is off the outside of the building and its history. Stick a fork in it…you’re done.

so…a recap…tonight theCargo Room at 8 or so…Angie Angie’s Saturday night…did i miss anything? yeah…a lot, i know…will Sangre every take down the Estrella sign? if only to let Djinn move their sign in its place?…Wokco? yeah…going back, soon…has Hugo’s Ceviche made it, in the old Rum/Scum Bar location? ‘forgot to ask Claudia on Monday night about it, but the kiss…nope, not tellin’…kinda erased my RAM for the evening..

the latest version(locally printed)comes out next week…Our Man in Antiguastan…assuming that Frener actually produces on time…tis why I’ve quit paying part of the $$ upfront… Amazon.com already has it…buy some now, in time for Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hannukah…last months’ 25 went like Belgian pancakes…er, waffles? whatever…down to five and worst-case scenario is that I light off either the fire or the bbq with ’em..

www.createspace.com/3755222 and tell ’em Groucho sent you…’obscure reference #6…and yes, I found the ‘Groucho’ glasses/nose/mustache disguise in town..so if you see me…and i’m weirder than usual…hello!

a fool on a stool? at the entrance to the Condesa Expresa, a new guide service is set up….for $35? yep….take the Bell Tour…$20 and worth every bit and then some…4 hours of history, Antigua-style.

And tonight…8ish? the Cargo Room, the setting for some kinda deal involving the new Miss Antigua contestants…show and tell? dunno, but i’m goin…maybe the marvelous miss m will come along, keep me outa trouble..

yesh, Part 1 of the Race Track story up on the Ex.com site…Part 2 manana…yesh, more babe photos but ‘tasteful’…it wasn’t my fault that they wore such tight outfits or bent over so far…jeez, you’d think I was some kinda prevert.


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ask Robt “plumb bob’ Wheat what this refers to…he’ll give you the visual…Mike Chrisman at the usual watering hole,showing off his german shirt that reads ‘X-Man’ across the back, his  handle..no, er..his nicknmae..’handle’ might be misconstrued in certain quarters…thanks for the memories, X-man, about the days when we had the keys to the med room and no one counted the jars of goodies..let’s see…some of those and some of these..’gimme the 10 mg size, please..

Tono Pullin! in rare form last night at dos Reilly’s…never seen so many little bottles of johnny walker red get consumed in such a fashion…welcome home, Tono..and the only man in town who knows the difference between a dupont and a dunhill..i favor the first even though the f…$#@!! french charge $5 a refill…typical for those frenchy bastards..

and another sweet night with the beautiful ms M…smashing in a simple black dress, gold-accented jewelry and a divine form…travel menu? i’m a convert to their ‘jesper’s special’…it’s on the latest version, sent out/up today on amazon.com along with a few other updates..in print, locally maybe…maybe here next week, all things considered and i don’t mean NPR..the powers that be at Frener Printers..

and a 20q ride home..what is usually a ten q pop and once in a while 7 or even five? the evening’s road closures per the last or maybe last few final acts of Semana Satan causing massive traffic screw-ups…took the long way home, almost to Joco, i think..will the Easter Bunny show up tomorrow? will he survive the barbecue? where’s the easter egg hunt or the chocolate bunnies? chocolate bunnies? probably in San Jose, at the Del Rey..oooh.. bite their….i gotta learn to censure some of this..my youngest daughter is an occasional reader..and yes, she’s met Brenda the Stripper who became a porno star, but…


a ‘dad likes to think, or at least I do, that somethings are better kept ‘under wraps..


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or a medium-rare…I’m in the midst of a “Pink Slime’ article and the more I read, the more my stomach turns: Guatemala is lucky in that we can watch the butcher cut off the chunk and then stuff it into the grinder…what’s next ‘up there?’..right, the 3 governors are doing stand-up comedy routines trying to put this fire out..rotsa luck…

that subject started a round of disgusting comments at the 5 o’clock meeting of the 4 Mousketeers and it only went sideways from there…thanks, Reed, for the Costa Rica angle, which led to the following(unfit for most readers but it did make the front page of the India Times)


and you wonder why I sometimes write under a ‘nom de plume?’ i guess whatever ‘cover’ i thought i may have had is now ‘blown’…so to speak..the latest version of “Our Obscene Man etc’ is now out..no, not THAT kind of out…out/about with my little black shoulder bag, schlepping copies hither, thither and yon: people! buy up/out those older versions so we can all restock($$)manana, eh?…mentioned to Reed that I have just enough frequent flier miles to get from her…here to San Jose(CR)…will i ever grow up/go back? hey, if i did, it would only be to re-test my roulette system(trust me)and no, i’m not posting any photos..ask and ye may shall receive…

‘seems that i’ve become a user/abuser of tuk-tuks, now that i live a bit further out..yeah,i’m older but the spine still takes a licking(don’t go there)…well, maybe..one of our bar owners raging-ranting at another bar tonight…in rare form…ah! Mary spotted! long timee no see…with RT2…Robto de Oro likewise…hows Barb? scheduled for serious surgery on the 6th, if i recall(and not much, thank you) Alzheimer’s friendly, that’s me…meet new people every day….they(whoever ‘they’ are)are still whipping on the old Reilly’s space on upper 5th…what’s it gonna be? dunno..typical..Sangre’s reopened and did something in the far rear..no, back…’rear’…don’t go there..there seems to be a lot  of innuendos in this post…but then, again..innuendo is the italian word for suppository, and yes…i’m going to my room now.

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pollo de la calles? ever walk by La Merced and see the flock of pigeons?  their numbers were severely reduced on Monday morning following two days of vendor action per the processions…makes me wonder about that ‘chicken’ on the grills?

or if you were downtown in the early evening, ‘purple haze’..’checked into Lava/O’lot about 5 or so..barely moving(staff)and cleaning up from last night’s advanced course on debauchery/bad behavior…Alex of Sobremesa, who’s 3rd anniversary last yesterday, reported that he didn’t close till 3am and even then was turning away people.
yep, folks…the processions are upon us…jezus on a stick et al: i’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…we need Mardi Gras stuff…Brazilian style and not just the Venetian Masked Ball….I’m talkin’ feathers, gyrations and skin and lots of it…yeah, I know that Antigua is sedate, safe and stodgy: the owners of Le Club in the City could easily bring their dancers over for a few ‘twists and shouts’….toss out some airline bottles of Zacapa, not that I’ve ever been in Le Club….well, it’s been a couple of years..my AARP card was declined there.

it’s all okay: the town is packed with weekenders and tourists, the shuttles are shuttleing like busy little bees and last night’s hangover is a dim memory, assuming that any memory still exists…me, I’m outa RAM and there’s no updates available.

‘spoke with my 94 year  old mom this morning(her birthday)and she asked about St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in Guatemala…mum…only in bars that serve gringos..I’m still not sure about Sangre’s semi-opening last night…one would hope that our two magazines who publish their ads got paid…if you recall, the departure of ‘the boys’ left some unpaid bills here and there..and I hate ‘accounts receivable’…C.O.D and I don’t mean Call on Dad..

Robbin of B5 outa town til next week…’been reading Hemingway and the references to absinthe have got me thinking(sic)…look for some kinda hazy, spacy article in a week or so..or call me absinthe minded, as if i had one..

tomorrow? up at the crack of dawn…no, she left earlier…go to town and hound my printer..the sea shipment is probably part of the custom agents snafu…screw..paid shipping/taxes/costs up the ying yang and now this?..arrange a meeting tuesday with the marvelous miss m and sally forth..wait..that doesn’t sound right…was she fifth? as if..its been so long that i forget who ties up whom…or is it who? in my case, it’s ‘what’…good, the meds just kicked in…more pavlov, por favor… one last sordid thought…why isn’t there a Maximon float/barge? think about it…or don’t…Frank! Nim P’ot! c’mon!…por  que no?

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buncha folks getting hammered for Saint Patrick’s Day, as if anyone i know needed the excuse..fireworks around town, streets jammed with traffic, Andy the Mime packing up later than usual…yep, it’s starting to look like Semen Satan is coming…o boy..I’m glad to be outa Ground Zero aka Fourth Avenida, altho being on the edge of San Felipe the local procession starts outside my gate..screw..where’s the flare pistol? one cartridge left…fine..take that, Jeezus!

‘ran into the marvelous Miss M this afternoon…apologies/excuses accepted…hey, what can i say? she’s perfect for some potential clients for the bookette…and yes, Frener didn’t have the 25 ready today…”monday morning”….ok, fine..it appears that there’s been a customs lockdown on containers in guatemalo, which explains why the boat that left san Fransicko in January, due here a month ago, hasn’t been….opened, delivered..fine..Frener! do me the 25 on monday, por favor…Whisky Den is now outa the thing…thanks to Rich Neel and a rebate from me…B5 doing fine, Carla B at Fusion on toppa the bar/wine thing…El Caz Italiano doing their usual Saturday full up thing…Dona Gavi? yeah, she’s sweet..

‘heard via a source that Piano Mike and Moriah aren’t doin’ their music at Caffe Bourbon…is it $$ or that lack of a music license or the fine(10000 q)that sunk this venue? stories abound…yeah, they paid the fine and have a license…who knows? its just another Antigua story..JEH/Cath back from their latest foray…nope, she told me but i forgot it..typical…right..

La Pena del Sol? slammed/packed/no tables…Crash Harriss complaining about speed of the service…dude! it works…don’t mess with it. you have a problem that any other restaurant in town would love to have..Ricardo’s Tabacos y Vinos packed…again..Sangre’s door was open…after being closed for a few weeks, wtf?..work going on at the old Reilly’s spot…bringing in dirt? yeah…go figure..if it was sand, i’d figure that they’re doing a ‘beach bar’…and has anyone ever seen so many shuttle buses/vans? streets packed with ’em..bring money..Antigua needs every bit of it..ah, Marvel…welcome back..let’s go kick ass and take names..ah…Sobremesa’s 3rd Anniversary!….yeah…packed! good job, Alex and crew!


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